When things are at times not making sense, I meditate on Joseph & he's brothers who betrayed him & sold him to foreigners who also sold him to Egyptians hense he ended up serving in Pharaoh palace. That has been comforting me in a way, and it made it seem normal to be kicked out or rejected.
Just as Joseph came through for he's family in the hour of hunger (when he's brothers didn't recognize him anymore) when they came to buy food in Egypt, so do I expect to somehow come through for my family in maybe years to come, meeting their need if I will be able depending on what will they be needing at that specific time.
My daily prayer is that I do all genuinely without complaining or manifesting an emotion of revenge.
But now things are kinda moving on a faster lane. This year infact life has been hectic, i've really been overwhelmed in all areas of my life. Everything had to happen quickly. Bigger decisions had to be made without waiting, it called for it.
Can't help it but to sometimes think i'm gonna fall & have to be taken to hospital. My spirit is tired (now tears are coming out as i'm typing) its been too much to handle at once, at times I feel i'm gonna have stroke, but its just me feeling that, I may not have it hopefully through God's grace. That's the last thing I need cause I only have myself now.
One of the things that are taking place earlier than expected is my family seeking for me. I don't need that now. I'm in a process of forgiving & acceptance of rejection that was done in a most humiliating way, its somehow registered in my mind cause now that's the only thought i'm left with in remembrance of my father.
I new they gonna look for me, though not this soon. Most probably the interntions are not even good, its only so I can meet expenses. Oh well its family what can I say, they use you for their benefit at times. The thing is now this frustrates my current activities of dealing with this. Voice massages take me 100steps backwards, don't wanna hear their voices right now. Can't even change my cell mumbers for work sake.
I don't know what to do hey,
I'm not punishing them by ignoring their calls,
Not even angry anymore with them, they just not what I need right now.
I think you have forgiven even though the reminders remain and the healing process is often slow...Satan will keep throwing what happened back at you...just tell him to get behind you.
I think it is most challenging to get through issues with family members. Strangers or non-relatives you can eliminate or avoid in your daily life. Family members are there...either at an event or another family member talks about them.
I used to pray that God would change one of my sisters...then I started praying that God would give me wisdom on how to deal with her. My sister hasn't changed much but I don't get as frustrated with her.
"I used to pray that God would change my sister.... My sister hasin't changed"
I understand what you're saying darling sis'
God won't change your sister simply cause she hasn't asked God herself for a changed heart,attitude, behavior etc,
(i'm not saying God can't or couldn't change her) He prefers working through a willing servant since change comes up with responsibilities on both parties. God will be persuing He's part as God, likewise with the servant....
Didn't Pharoah become worst than what he already was when Moses was sent to Egypt for the deliverance of the children of Israel?
Did he asked for change/repentance? Nope he was quite happy with the person that he was, God could only harden the heart & attitude that he already had.
Emagen if I run to my grandmother's place when kicked out of the house...?
I want so so badly to win her to Jesus before she passes on, i'm not content by leaving her behind knowing evil believes we had before I got saved, she's about 95or96years old this year. She lost eye side but she's still very strong.
She states the most valid reasons in the book why won't she be a Christian (she's very religious) & misses it all together, like any other religious person do. One of her reasons is that Christians are evil in Jesus name, if beeing saved means beeing what she sees from christians, then she's still better off beeing the way that she currently is.
By me running to her place.... what would I have confirmed in her about us christians?
Will she accept Jesus seeing me falling apart being treated by onother christian like that, a paster to make it worst?
I don't want her to know about being raped,
Can't bear a thought of losing her to death through such reasons when she's not even saved yet, that would be an internal loss. I don't open this subject for discussion when with her, for both her & Jesus' name sake. Don't wanna reflect God as if He failed me or something. I keep this subject as lite as I possibly can.... Glad she could not see me when I shared tears, told her I needed a push to move out, was too relaxed home.
While in that very situation,
Had to protect God's name just so she might just be saved.
God has a responsibility of writing her name in the book of life & maybe take her immediately before she's convicted otherwise, should she be saved
We as christians have a responsibility of defending God's name for salvation of souls.
So yah.... Both parties have responsibilities to persue,
Its not easy cause one basically puts others above him/her self for Christ's sake.
Might as well share it here for the benefit of someone who might just be strengthened through this passage:
1 Peter from 3
"Blessed be the God and father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who according to His abundant mery has begotten us again to a living hope through the resurrection of Juses Christ from the dead,
6, In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while, if need be, you have been grieved by various trails,
7, That the genuineness of your faith, being much more precious than gold that perishes, though it is tested by fire, may be found to praise, honer, and glory at the revelation of Juses Christ,
Sisygirl, thanks for the verses. Always encouraging to read God's Word and seeing a passage that provides comfort and hope to someone special.
I'll be praying for your grandmother...I heard someone once say, if we let other Christians or people who profess to be Christians stand between us and God, they are closer to God than we are. Many people think they have to change to accept God's gift of salvation. The reality is He accepts is as we are. The change comes after we are saved...when the Holy Spirit begins to work in us.
Unfortunately, she is right that there are many so-called Christians that do not live the life Christ wants us to live. That doesn't mean we have to be like that. There are many Christians who set a good example of a changed life. It's not as important as to how we live here...it's where we'll spend eternity. Maybe you could ask her if she wants to spend eternity with those people. If not, then she should seek God's gift of eternal life.
Since she has lost her vision, maybe you can offer to read to her. The book of John is always good...
Every time I think of you Teach, I just smile and my heart pumps love & gratitude that we've fanilly met. You meant so much to me.
"Maybe you should ask her if she wants to spend eternity with those people?" You're right dear lady its not often easy to testify to your own family, I don't know why is that. Nonetheless I'll do so,
God's spirit will help & guide me so I don't offend, (this subject often causes tension) then i'd withdraw so I don't come across forceful on her, but my heart breaks cause we may not have her for longer.
Can I deviate a little from the subject, but still in line I think about eternity. Meant to share this with you dear:
God speaks to us daily through little things we do. Had a hectic week last week, couldn't eat cooked meals (vegetables) as often as i've commited to lately, Sutarday afternoon I desired a cooked meal as tired as I was. I forced & prepare something, as about to chop the Greenpaper
It had a little mold on it, they were two of them in a pack (2Greenpapers) the mold was in between the two of them. (I don't throw away food, that's one of my principles)
When cutting the parts that had a mold in these greenpapers, it was as if there was a small voice speaking to me, the voice was so evident I actually heard it as if there was someone with me. Saying:
"The part with a mold would have spread all over the veg, and have both of them rotten, but by cutting the molded part you can still make use of it, only for the stumak.
How then important is it that one gets rid of an evil part of ones' body instead of having the whole body thrown in hell for just one evil/roten part.
This race is very challenging Teach, Michael oftens talks about repentance, which you've just reminded me when qoating the book of John. Its amazing how God's things entertwines.
