Hey guys I know this may not be the place to put this, but I'm looking for advice and I'm hopeful I will recieve some encouragement here.
I often times feel alone. I know that God is with me and several times in my life it has been His presence alone that I have felt. I have only two people I would consider my friends. They are a couple and so hanging out with them, while fun, often leaves me feeling like a "tag along"/"third wheel". I have a variety of interest. I enjoy sports, being outside, being on the river, playing and listening to music, occassionally reading a good book/ watching a good movie, yet I find myself, it seems all the time, being at home with nothing to do. I know I should get out, but this town I live in doesn't have any place worth going to, if you catch my drift. Also, I just started attending another church and while there are people there my age, we come from two different paths and even there I often feel "alone". Not only that but they don't have any kind of fellowship outside of their worship service, you know something 'extra' to do. I like being active but dread doing things by myself.
Well I know that I'm blessed and truthfully I do greatly enjoy getting on here and seeing all the new post and the replies to the old ones. But just today, I went to church, excellent service and message today!!! Anyway, I come home and my family has decided to play games, okay, no problem...So my brother has been watching the winter Olympics, like everyday!!! So I simply ask if I can put in the new CD I bought today of my church's worship band. He freaks out and tells me I'm being selfish. (Now you guys have to know, it is nothing uncommon for us in our family to mute the TV for a sporting event and listen to music.) So anyway, he finally, out of frustration says "fine go ahead". So I put it in, of course I'd like my family to listen to it and enjoy it too while we are playing games. I can tell they aren't listening but whatever....then this one song comes on I know that they know so I think they'll enjoy it, my dad makes some comment that he can't understand what they are saying. Its a rock style song, but its not hard core thrashing!!
Then after the CD has ended, I leave the room for a moment and come back to find that my brother has the TV muted listening to his music. I'm thinking okay so if it is okay for you to do it, then what was the big deal with my doing it?? I know that I'm blessed with an awesome and faithful family. I just wonder how come we can't share more common interest and hobbies? It like we all like music, but they often don't like the kind I do. I like watching and playing sports, they only like certain ones and those are okay but they're not my favorites...Then I really enjoy skeet shooting. I can't even get them to come and try to support me in that...not like they don't support me but they REALLY don't what to go and watch me...I understand that we all need to have OUR thing...but I guess that's why I feel alone so much, because I can't even find someone in my family with common interest let alone someone else to hang out with...
Hey Storm, just continue to be thankful in it. Keep being involved in the things you enjoy, learn some new things even if it's something you'll wind up doing alone. A lot of other people have the other problem.... TOO MANY people in their lives, some--- none that they can trust, or who truly care and concerned about their interest. So, there's the flip side too. Everyone elses' comments were pretty much on my way of thinking too. As you move around, you'll know God is with you, you'll feel peace... and I'm certain that after awhile, those lonely times will become just a few minutes in your day, and then --poof!
So for now, change your way of thinking about it, and get busy finding more things you can do alone too while you wait on God to change things. We all care about you, and glad you take advantage of the community here to share in honesty, and trust us enought to give you feedback.
I love the suggestion by our brother to include visiting the elderly in your community; and I would add veterans to that list as well. They have the most interesting stories to share; and most of them can beat you at nearly any card game you care to play. If you check in during a meal time, you'll be a huge hit!
I'm from a small town too, and I have found the MOST rewarding time I've spent is with my "Little" from the Big Brothers/Big Sisters program. Through this mentoring opportunity, I have met literally dozens of others in the community through our shared activities; and she is never at a loss for something new to do! Most of these are free or very inexpensive; because neither of us has much of an "entertainment" budget.
It's great when you can get "two lonely hearts" :hearts::hearts: together.:bouncy: And wherever two or more or you are gathered in His name . . . .:hearts:
Those are nice suggestions but to be honest I've never been that good in dealing with the elderly, of course I can't get better by not trying...I would like to sit and talk with a bunch of vets though!!! I consider myself to be a huge patriot and those men and women have given so much!!! My "lonely" times often come on the weekends....its the idea of I've worked all week so now that I have "me" time I want to do something that will be fun and out of the hum-drum of the week, you know? So I think that is really where it comes from. My dad and brother are just content to rest all week because they worked / went to school. I see it the other way. We should be out doing something, not sitting at home!! Haha!! I guess sometimes genetics are more difficult to see!! (Hey hers a fun face!! :nahnah:)
dear storm, i gotta tell ya bro ,some of the most wonderful blessings i ever recieved was by visiting the nursing homes.. and places where folks were less fortunate in their abilities and such..
i was like you .. nervous as could be on the inside.. id never been around sick people much then.. cept for my granny who had the altzheimers.. and i think that was the hardest thing i ever had to watch.. was her going downhill slowly..
she wound up in the nursing home towards the end.. she had died before we formed the group..
so i had a soft spot in my heart for folks there..
i made it a point to add them to our schedules when the gospel music ministry i was led to form performed..
wed sing hour concerts for them same as everyone else.. carried all the equipment in as well.. we didnt cheat them in any way...we gave em our best..
and after id preach to em and then we would all go out and greet each one and pray for them if they asked and just talk to em awhile.. listen to em.. let em know that people cared about em and that GOD loved em..
i still get nervous ..i recon cause i hate to see folks in a bad shape..
there are a few times that stick out in my mind and heart..
this lady sat in the front row and her head was down and her eyes were closed the whole time we were there.. she looked like she was asleep and we all thought she were...hehe
when it was over and we went out to meet everyone .. well when i got to her ,, she raised her head up best she could ,and im sure it was very hard for her to do as her neck was a little messed up..
well she raised her head up and had a few tears rolling down the side of her face..
she looked up at me and said son thank you so much for caring about us..
if you dont think i melted in the floor right there.. well i hugged her and told her yes maam we do and GOD does too.. you know what i can still feel that feeling today just by rememberin it.. we went there to hopefully be a blessing and came out truely blessed..
Ahhhh...(tear/sniff)...that brought to my memory Linnies post of the marine..."next time someone needs ya...jus be there"...an your so right on bout the Blessin part...Luv ya...xo
You are not alone. I have felt the same way and not so long ago. Here's some advise for you. "Be friendly and you will have friends".
I used to spend a lot of holidays alone with just my kids and myself. I started asking other lonely people to join us. Soon I began opening my house to old friends and new ones many times throughout the year enjoying fellowship, food and fun. It not only served me well but served other lonely folks out there too.
This coming Easter I have invited a young lady and her 2 year old daughter to spend time with my family. It is a blessing for me as well.
I agree with the others. You don't have to go to a nursing home if that's not what you are comfortable with. Find something to get involved with your church. Maybe it's a helps ministry or being a greeter. You will meet lots of people, minister to others and get blessed yourself. Maybe you will meet your future wife there!
Storm, I want to add this. I have spent a lot of time in ministry and know that there needs to be a life outside of ministiry just to minister to yourself and so you don't burn out.
I have joined all kinds of local organizations of areas of interst to me. For example if you like to ride motorcycles you could join the Christian Motorcycle Association. Trust me, get yourself involved and you will start meeting people. Whatever you do, get out of the house!!
