When I was growing up I thought that people who got a divorce were people that had serious mental issues and that they were " those kind of people". My parents have been married for 43 yrs this year and I was raised to believe that divorce was not acceptable.
So after my ex-wife decided to rush through a divorce with me and get married 3 weeks after it was final, it got me thinking in a whole new perspective towards divorced people. Now I was one of " those kind of people".
The truth is.. Life isn't always fair. You trust someone with your heart, promise forever, then they just throw it all in the trash can like it didnt mean anything. Maybe she didnt mean forever and through better or worse, but I did. Maybe she didnt intend to be faithful, but I did.
I didn't want to be a divorced person, but now I am. Therefore, it makes me look at another person't situation with more grace.
I dont understand these "fundamental" people who take such a hard line and are "rigid" when it comes to divorce. Some single women think I'm "stained" now or something. You know what though... I want to be with someone who can appreciate a guy like me because they have experienced first hand the same or something similar as I have. A woman who is faithful, has a sweet heart, is forgiving, honest and real. That's what I am looking for, because I have the same standards for myself.
So, to all of those single women on this forum that think something is wrong with me ( or anyone else for that matter) because I have been divorced and won't even take the time to get to know me and ask what the situation was, I say
" Your loss sweetie". Go and find your "perfect" person, and good luck with all that.
May God bless yoou RealDeal... and be encouraged. Seek God for His directions of a mate suitable for you. This is why God encourages us and exhort us to not to be unqueally yoked with unbelievers, adn this mean in ALL THINGS a person can be and unbeliver in biblical marital things regarding the family. God tell us to seek a mate who first loves the Lord with all her/his hearts mind, soul, and spiritnad his/her behavior and conduct and attitude is the proof. Seek those qualiteies God ahs laid out in His word that should be in the character of what HE CALLS a godlly woman, you cant go worng using God's method.
Hang in there and God will lead you in the path He has so designed just for you. Therefore, elan not to your own understandingm but in all your ways acknowkedge Him as your Father and director, andguide, and HE WILL ORDER YOUR STEPS AND DIRECT YOUR PATH.
dear real deal, I just wanted to point out more in depth what you touched on, instead of it being a good luck sweetie typ attitude towards those who judge us, we should look at them the same way we can now look at those who are also divorced, see being a christian means we love evryone and in loving them we should look at them through merciful eyes, those those you think that judge you and wont give you a chance, they are the ones who you are to show lmercy to my dear, those are the very people you are to be praying for as they have much deeper issues than judging you and despreratly need your prayers, they are indanger and on shaky ground if they judge you by your past as the lord said by whatver measure we jude that wil be the measure e are also judged by!So their judgemet on you is putting them in danger of the judgment of God! So my dear count it as all joy that you are being judged but glory not that the ones that judge you are walking the wrong path , it should break your heart that they are lost and undone (yes lost even on this so called christian site) if they are judging yu for being divorved dear heart they are in way worse shape than you are and are in need of your prayer
Ladies.. while I appreciate the biblical answers that you gave for divorce, grace, praying for others, etc. that wasn't my purpose for posting this.
I went to Bible College and have studied the scriptures time and time again. I wasn't looking for someone to preach to me about having the right attitude or Biblical answers for conclusions for divorce. It being a forum and freedom of speech though, post what you wish.
The main intent for this post was to encourage someone else out there that has been treated like "2nd class" because they went through an un-forseen divorce.
Fundamental people are always quick to tell me the Biblical answers for divorce, quoting scriptures, etc. I already know those things... Yet, it still doesn't change the reality of the way someone can be made to feel if they are divorced by others.
This original post was for someone reading that needs to be reminded to hold their head high, God has a plan, and IT IS someone's loss if they pre-judge your character or mate-worthiness because of divorce- especially if you are the one that didn't institute the divorce or participate in adultry. Suprised some can't see exhortation when they read it.. but yet, I'm not really suprised at all- hence the reason for writing this post in the first place.
Here's a hint: loosen up, give and recieve exhortation, and lay off of the heavy preaching to those who already feel bad enough about the divorce situation in the first place. Not everything has to be so "spiritualized".. this was just real talk.
Some will get it, and already have. Some won't and just want to correct anything they can find.
We are called to pray for those who persecute up, love one another, etc. At the same time, there isn't a pre-requisite for me to feel eternally unworthy the rest of my life for a finding the right woman for me. So with the statement: " Your loss sweetie, and good luck with all that" - It was my way of saying " I am good enough, I do have love & faithfulness to offerr, and I have finally come to the place where I feel good about myself despite what others think".
I beleive it shows signs of healing, which for some can take a long time after someone treats them like a piece of garbage in a marriage.
I pray for my ex-wife and those who persecute me, at the same time- I'm not going to waste anymore time not feeling good enough for someone awesome, because I'm awesome in God's sight, he knows my heart, and someday a graceful, Christian young woman will also.
