Author	Thread: Does it matter?
Admin	Does it matter? Posted : 4 May, 2011 08:01 PM I have been wondering if it matters to try to find a mate. I try and try, but nothing. I am done with just looking. I see ladies marrying men that are abusive, only cause they are handsome, or a good personality. I would never treat a lady like she is an object. I wonder if it really matters? I believe that the inside should matter, but it appears that most women don't sorry for the generalization. It is easy to say I look at the heart, but do we really matter? Blessings. J G. Post Reply
View Profile History	Does it matter? Posted : 4 May, 2011 09:43 PM I wouldn�t necessarily say that they go after good looking guys, but simply guys that are flashy and appear to be cool. Those of us who don�t know what we are doing or are more of a geek don�t stand a chance. Everybody loves to talk about it not being true, that you just have to be yourself, but that is a lie. Women love to complain about how guys are �too visual�, but women are guilty of chasing after flash instead of substance. Post Reply
bcpianogal View Profile History	Does it matter? Posted : 5 May, 2011 06:31 AM The last guy I dated was a fairly homely guy, and extremely geeky. Certainly he wasn't what most people would consider "good looking." We met online, and even though I found his picture to be not at all attractive, I agree to meet him in person based on our online and phone conversations. It turned out that even though he wasn't "tall, dark, and handsome", he was a good guy. Kind, smart, fun, and most importantly he was a good Christian. I probably would have married him had the relationship lasted long enough. Unfortunately, his mom turned out to be a nut case, and from what I was able to figure out after this guy broke up with me, she is the one who convinced him that I wasn't the girl for him. (If she had that much influence over him, though, I'm glad I'm out of that relationship! Respecting Mama is a good thing...letting her run your life is not.) Moral of the story: If enough other stuff (personality, intellect, spirituality) is good, then a guy's looks really, truly don't matter to me. (Of course, I'd rather not want to vomit when I look at him.) If he's really great looking on the outside, but the inside is not so great, he will never interest me. I can't speak for all girls, though; I know many girls who do only look at the outside. Post Reply
bcpianogal View Profile History	Does it matter? Posted : 5 May, 2011 06:33 AM Oh yeah, this guy was also one of the most awkward, shy, socially inexperienced guys I'd ever met...I was the first girl he had dated, and he had no clue how to charm or flirt. Just thought I'd throw that out there! Post Reply
View Profile History	Does it matter? Posted : 5 May, 2011 07:25 AM You are one of very few, BC. Post Reply
View Profile History	Does it matter? Posted : 5 May, 2011 11:44 AM Yeah sometimes people let others tell them what they should think or act. I am still hoping to find someone, I have not given up yet. I am not sure about meeting people online. I have not had much success in dating, cause it seems that I am not the most attractive or easy to look at. Post Reply
heart614 View Profile History	Does it matter? Posted : 6 May, 2011 08:26 AM This depend on the mind setting of the individual and i guess this is also true with men, there are some who are attracted to good looking guys, some are attracted to the intelligence of a person and there are some who are also attracted for money. What is beauty or good looks if what is inside you is rotten. Post Reply
NPX7 View Profile History	Does it matter? Posted : 7 May, 2011 02:22 PM I promise you that if you are seeking God's will, studying His word, praying, and active in a healthy church, God will provide you a wonderful Christian woman. Only God knows how long it will take, but in the end you will get a far better gift if you wait on Him. Now this is coming from a guy who is also looking for a lady. I've pretty much been single my entire life. As hard as it is to be single I praise God for teaching me patients and to rely on Him more. Your in my prayers J.G. Post Reply
Sugar_and_Spice View Profile History	Does it matter? Posted : 12 May, 2011 01:23 AM I'd prefer someone with a nice attitude and a good conversationalist because as we get older our "beauty" would fade. Six pack abs would vanish, hair would turn gray or gone. What remains is the persons attitude. And it pays we can talk about a lot of things. Post Reply
memebecky View Profile History	Does it matter? Posted : 17 May, 2011 06:57 PM It really is sad that most people - men and women, look on the outward appearance more than on the beauty of the heart. I, too, am a victim of such judgement. I am 50 yrs. old, and overweight, and just kinda plain. I was married to the same man almost 30 yrs. until he passed away in 2009. Of couse when we met, we were both thin and attractive, and were attracted to each other naturally. But it was his heart that I fell in love with. As the years passed, the beauty faded and the stress of life took it'd toll. He became sick in Feb 2007, and suddenly I almost did not exist to myself. I gained weight, became depressed, and just lost my joy. So I "looked" like a mess. But even then my husband loved me. He saw my heart, which was so focused on him. When he passed away, it took me an entire year to come out of the "fog" zone. I have just now, since March, started my new chapter in my life. I've started a diet, and have already lost almost 20 lbs. I'm talking to a great guy, which I thought would never happen. But he hasn't seen my picture yet, And yes, I'm a little worried because I have still got so far to go to become what I want to be. Now I told you all that to make a point. Even though there are reasons behind what I look like, no one is really interested in what I can give them from my heart. It is really sad that we have to be judged for what we are on the outside instead of what is in our hearts. I will be thin one day, and have all the other issues worked out, but I fear that by then I may have given up on finding someone who can love me for me. I had one of those good guys, but at my age, I'm afraid my romance days just might be over. I'm not gonna wither up and die though. I am a strong woman, and as long as the Lord loves me, then everything is ok! We need to pray for each other that God will heal our bruised and broken hearts, and fill the empty places we have inside. He can do it you know! Be encouraged! memebecky Post Reply