Author	Thread: Break ups
Christiane View Profile History	Break ups Posted : 19 Nov, 2011 07:08 AM Break ups Do you sever relationships? Many times we get into relationships, specially on line that suddenly stops without any explanation? How does this affects a person? It is easier for the one who desires to interrupt the relationship but how about the other person? What goes through his/her mind and heart? It can be very painful and devastating for the person who has been given up specially if he/she has opened up and shared personal things or has become emotionally vulnerable towards the other one. The silence means rejection, abandonment, makes the person feel so insignificant thinking the other person doesn't see him/her as worthy of explanations or clarifications. It is selfish and coward to avoid facing the situation and making things clear and simply back off leaving the other person wondering what went wrong; "Is it because of what I said, or the way I said it or is it because of the reality of what I shared?" You may ask. The victim might attempt once or twice to get a response to no avail, and continue to wonder what happened or even if the other person is still alive. In this scenario which one do you indentify with? I am not saying every time you initiate a relationship it must have a closure. Sometimes it is so shallow and boring for both that it is just no point in keeping up and no need to analyze it, but if it has become personal and emotional and gone deep, when one of the parties get disconnected he/she should for respect to the other person, express his/her feelings clearly, sever the relationship and move on in peace. It might be hard to face the other person's emotions specially if he/she is not ready to let go. But it is the brave and right thing to do. Be firm but tactful, loving and respectful. Then go in peace. If you have been a victim of abandonment and have no peace because you cannot understand why this happened to you and the person refuses contact there is just one thing to do; go to God, bring the matter before Him, open your heart, express and let out your emotions, confess your willingness to forgive (when you are sincere) release and bless the person who has hurt you, and move on, move forward, let God be the judge and deal with the guilty as He pleases, having mercy in whom He has mercy. God bless! Thank you for reading this article, if you have experience this kind of thing your comments or sharing will enrich, encourage or comfort others. You can share how you felt as a victim or why you stopped a communication without a closure. You have here an opportunity to be a blessing! Shalom! Post Reply
View Profile History	Break ups Posted : 19 Nov, 2011 01:43 PM That is a great article. I can relate to it somewhat as my daughters father just quit trying to figure things out between us (as for seeing his daughter). He won't talk to me. I'm now struggling to deal with it as sin lead me into this mess. It really helped to come on here and read this. Post Reply
Christiane View Profile History	Break ups Posted : 19 Nov, 2011 03:40 PM Hi misscristy Praise the Lord you have been blessed by this article. It is hard when you try to figure out things on your own. Trust in the Lord,and talk with Him (pray) in His own time and way He will reveal to you whatever you need to know. Do not allow the enemy to acuse or condem you of anythings, but only convictions can build you up. The Lord can reveal to you whatever went wrong on both parties with the purpose of teaching and correcting. You are precious! God bless! Post Reply
View Profile History	Break ups Posted : 19 Nov, 2011 06:16 PM Thanks Christiane! I am in the process of building up my relationship with God again. I've come back to being a little more active on here and using the forums hoping that it will help me along a little bit as I am unable to make it to church very often. It's harder when you're hardly around people living the Christian life. Post Reply
Christiane View Profile History	Break ups Posted : 20 Nov, 2011 06:09 AM Here is my sharing, which inspired me to write this article. I met someone on line a while ago, who is very peculiar and experienced much pain throughout his life and was desperate to be loved and accepted, which is very natural for every human being, but had experience so much rejection in person and on line. Once he would share about his situation people would stop the communication without giving him a chance to clarify himself. He was so fragile and insecure he needed someone to show him God's love before he was able to accept he is lovable. He is now back on his feet, trusting God and getting complete healed. We are friends now. Let's not be a curse on anybody's live, we are called to be a blessing. Post Reply
View Profile History	Break ups Posted : 30 Nov, 2011 12:19 PM I can identify with this as having been someone who was left with no explanation and the mental and emotional anguish of wondering what went wrong was it something I said something I did going over and over in my mind what it could be? No amount of digging was gaining me any insight either. I think it is easier to do this to someone online than it is otherwise as it is easier to just cut ties completely as in most cases you met online because your paths wouldn't have ordinarily crossed. I won't go into my situation since I touched on that in another thread in this same forum. Fortunately in my case we have reconciled and are back together and that relationship is now stronger than it was before. So put me down as someone who feels that however a relationship ends if at all possible try to salvage the friendship. I know this isn't always possible. For me making the effort to stay friends proved to be good and God brought us back together. Whether a relationship turns out that it wasn't meant to be doesn't mean as brother and sister in Christ that we should sever that friendship. That can be easier said than done but God can give us the grace to do so. Some relationships are not meant to be lifelong whether friends or more than friends. The important thing is how friendships are left. The scripture tells us not to let the sun go down while we are still angry, I don't feel like we should just cut and run. Post Reply