Author Thread: Why is it?
heart4almighty

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Why is it?
Posted : 11 Jan, 2009 08:20 PM

I work in an automotive factory without many single Christian men or women around me. When I speak to my co-workers about my desire for a spouse, but that I am content where I am with the Lord right now, the first thing they do is look me up and down and say "Why is it taking so long for you to have a mate." Then I don't exactly know what to say really.:goofball: I know that I'm pickier than I used to be, but really its just the way it is in the single world. We all want a person in our lives, but yet don't seem to be stepping out to get to know anyone.:rolleyes: Anyone have any ideas why this is???:winksmile: I would appreciate any input...Thanks.



Many Blessings

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angel_in_mn

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Why is it?
Posted : 11 Jan, 2009 09:25 PM

Sorry, I am obviously not a guy but for whatever reason I always find myself answering questions in the 'ask a guy' section :ROFL:



But I definitely understand what you are saying. You actually sound a lot like me. I don't constantly search for a relationship like a lot of single people do and I really like to get to know a person as a friend before a relationship. A lot of people just jump into serious relationships before really getting to know someone and they usually don't work out anyways.



Also, I am not a person that is going to settle. I know what morals and values I want in a relationship and I will not settle for less - I would also not want someone to just settle for me.



What you choose to do is your personal choice. No human can decide your fate or question your reasons. Just live your live with faith and God will lead you in the right direction.



Angel_in_MN

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Why is it?
Posted : 12 Jan, 2009 01:01 AM

Hi there,



I'm not sure what exactly you are asking (why what is?), but I'll give some general comments.



If those in your factory who are asking you the question of why you are not married yet are mostly non-Christians, then they will have a difficult time understanding quite a lot about you :glow: . I think the best way to approach the answer is through a personal testimony, how better than 9/10 guys are not really possible considerations because the Scriptures say that you must marry someone "in the Lord", or another believer. You cannot date like most people, because sex outside of marriage (and sensuality) is not right before God, but only in marriage. So you have a situation where most men are the kind that you can consider for marriage. And although there are plenty remaining who are possible candidates, you are not praying to the Lord that God give you a mate more than anything, therefore you remain in your contented state. But God is faithful if you changed your mind and wanted a husband very badly; for God is sensitive to our needs.



I think one of the sad lessons I've learned from this site is that the fathers and church leaders are not helping young women be married in our culture. It is viewed as the young women's job all by herself, as our country was founded on autonomy. If the spiritual leaders of one's church, and the men of the family, would help young women by finding suitable men and evaluating those interested would-be suitors, I think godly women would really appreciate it, and it would make the process so much easier. I know that in biblical times, the father was the one who was courted-his role was that emphatic, and for good reason-he is the one who is giving his daughter away. I have seen my own sisters, and countless friends who are girls, go astray in trying to choose their own mate apart from the leadership and assistance of their fathers and father-like figures such as church leaders. It is very difficult for a woman who, say she works in a factory all day and then goes to a small church that doesn't happen to have any suitable single men, it is very hard for her to meet almost anyone else at all, let alone a suitable mate. She is so busy with work, church, errands, etc. that there is not much time, and if there is some, it's not like there are Christian clubs around everywhere :dancingp: .



I do think that if a woman is desiring of help, in most churches there are people, men and women, who would be willing to fill this role-praying, keeping their eyes out, making introductions that are not awkward...so there is much hope for this situation if one is inclined to seek it.



David

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heart4almighty

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Why is it?
Posted : 12 Jan, 2009 03:23 PM

Thank you Angel for your words of encouragement and empathy...:angel: I appeciated every word and wish you many blessings, and pray for your "right fit" to come into your life soon...:winksmile:

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heart4almighty

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Why is it?
Posted : 12 Jan, 2009 03:28 PM

Thank you ChristianGuy for your response. I have been single a while now, and you brought up some very good points I had never even considered about being alone. Especially the ones about the church and how to ask help in seeking a partner thru friends from church...:winksmile: You help is appreciated...:glow:

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