Author Thread: why do guys revert to their teenage years
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why do guys revert to their teenage years
Posted : 15 Feb, 2009 10:43 AM

So many guys, not on here though as I'm a new member of course, want mothers and want to argue and act like boys instead of men. These are guys over 50 also and you would think they would be more mature. They are so busy telling you about them they don't even ask you a question and go on and on about what they believe and how important they are because of their eduation and knowledge. Who would even want someone like this to even drink a cup of coffee. I'm so turned off with two other sites I've been on that I decided this site might be better. I hope it just isn't Missouri guys that are the big turn offs as I might have to look out of state and that may or might not work. Any insight?

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daves7days

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why do guys revert to their teenage years
Posted : 15 Feb, 2009 01:52 PM

What you have described is similar to a self-centered immaturity akin to a man who is too in touch with his feminine side. And it is described in the book �Mars and Venus Together forever,� by John Gray.

Man needs his feminine side to relate to the woman in his life. But when it is out of balance it comes across as needing a mother to care for him.

Women need someone to care for them, too. Leaving father and mother to cling to a wife is like relationship evolution. The man�s relationship with mother is foundational to relating to his wife. And when he expects the wife to mother him he takes the feminine role of the one who needs to be cared for. Of course, husbands and wives need to care for each other. But it should be the man who cares for and protects the relationship.

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why do guys revert to their teenage years
Posted : 15 Feb, 2009 07:08 PM

This one guy told me he wanted a woman to cook for him and spoil him. What utter nonesense when you don't even know the person. He thought he was always the one in the right and claimed he had a Counseling Degree. That shouldn't make you an authority and rude about everything. It was just his whole way of relating that was a big turnoff. He would be agressive and opinonated at the same time and expect me to say something calming. He would change moods so much I didn't feel comfortable at all with him.



Another guy wanted a picture and I didn't choose to put one on the internet for the simple reason that I haven't learned how to do it. He had a two year old fit about it.



I want someone who is calm and patient and knows how to relate to a woman not some imaginary specimen from outer space.

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why do guys revert to their teenage years
Posted : 16 Feb, 2009 04:26 AM

I know this is a guys question but I just had to respond. I think you will find this problem everywhere and it travels from state to state. It comes in the form of, I feel, a list. There is no time given to become friends. In some respects you feel like a horse in a stall. You know, "let me check, the eyes, hoofs, teeth, and yes...tail." If something is not quite 100 per cent then the horse is cast aside. What he didn't realize was that he passed up a racing thoroughbred because he didin't take time to find out the details! You wouldn't want someone like that, anyway. You know, there are good men out there. The ones that didn't have to be "all that" in high school and still carry that image. I've come to the conclusion it's time to step back and let God work. You are not a product to be auctioned off on ebay so don't settlle for less than God's best for you. Oh, by the way, there are women who are just as bad so maybe the good will find the good and the other will just keep running around in cirlcles. Life is not a merry-go-round unless you choose to ride.



Robin

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why do guys revert to their teenage years
Posted : 16 Feb, 2009 12:50 PM

Hear! Hear Sister Robin!



You are right on the money. I have only been on this site for about a month and I think I have found a good one. He didn't need a picture, neither did I, we have both exchanged pics since then. He is patient and gentle and kind, no demands. A truly godly man and we are very much interested in taking our time to get to know each other to see if there is a thoroughbred there. Keep looking guys and you may stumble over a gem. But don't keep thinking you will find it by only wanting to see pictures! By the way, we didn't start giving each other a list of desires,either. Remember delight yourself in the Lord and HE will give you the desires of your heart.:waving: The Bread Lady

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why do guys revert to their teenage years
Posted : 16 Feb, 2009 11:28 PM

Unfortunately, on a dating site, the only way for you to learn anything about a man is through his own words. It might be good for you to patiently hear him out and encourage him, not seeking your own attention in the conversation. If you speak with him several times and he never asks about you, this is a big sign :), but I can understand that a man would like to tell you what he believes because this is absolutely essential in seeking a wife-she must love God's word and not believe any cult-like heresies, and any decent man will also find it a priority to ensure a woman that he also does not believe in any. It may seem like bragging, but for a man to wish for a woman to know that he has knowledge and experience, and trying to do so on a website, even a humble man would have a hard time knowing how to go about this if he thinks it's important. Maybe try to be there for some men as an ear and just as a giver (love does not seek its own), and you never know how God can use you as a blessing.



Many men on these sites are lonely and are looking for a listener-this is no great sin, albeit it's not ideal for getting into a relationship. But you can be an encourager and friend to him.



Dave

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why do guys revert to their teenage years
Posted : 17 Feb, 2009 02:55 PM

Kristine,



Sounds like you're having the same problem I'm having in my plea for Help Me to Understand thread LOL...



... and the little boy says: "If you don't play ball the way I won't to play, then I will just kick the can and stir up the dust, and take my ball and go home!"...kinda attitude... :nahnah::goofball:



Dave, keep up the good work, you're doing a good trying to counsel and reassure us women, that ist gonna be alright and givepossible reason for certain unacceptable behavior... your certificate is in the mail.:bow:



Meanwhile, back at the ranch, on the thread I started experiencing the same problem, I was trying to make friends, but these guys thought I was expressing my love desires for them... and got angry when I said hold up! I never made a comment to you about anything, or expressed and love interest.

So Dave, which is it? Is it the game that is never winning... LOL



ella

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daves7days

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why do guys revert to their teenage years
Posted : 24 Feb, 2009 09:19 AM

Quote from ChristianGuy,

"Many men on these sites are lonely and are looking for a listener-this is no great sin, albeit it's not ideal for getting into a relationship. But you can be an encourager and friend to him."

*************



I think hearing someone out is one of the five love languages. it is part of knowing and being known by someone. when I worked with the homeless we had nursing students available to "chat" while they came in for free coffee and hygiene kits. I think it was very theaputic. It is not good to be alone and God made a cure for lonliness.Communication does imply somekind of a relationship, Parent /child, brother /sister, husband /wife. But the greatest of these is Love. Just like the little children acting out to get attention, what they really want is Love.

Daves7days

....in a Cave

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why do guys revert to their teenage years
Posted : 25 Feb, 2009 04:16 AM

Entertaining thread lol.. This actually works both ways with both genders and while I'd like to use scripture to provide counsel.. I'd be digging through Proverbs for a little while to find something remotely close to being applicable.



Anyway, case in point here.. some people like to pamper or spoil, some people like being pampered and spoiled, some people like both, or neither at all. We all have preferences and desires, but fundamentally I'd say the best path for this is open honest communication. Looking back now at what Jesus taught: we are ultimately to be the washer of another's feet... that agape self sacrificing love where you put another and others ahead of yourself first, foremost, and always.



The best acronym I've seen is JOY .. Jesus, Others, You!! In that specific order :party:



You'll have adults who act like kids.. but only when they are being selfish or weren't taught to behave otherwise with manners and respect for others.



Have a great day all, God bless!! :waving:

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