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My first BBQ
Posted : 4 Mar, 2009 03:00 PM
I thought I would share, what I think is one of the funniest things that ever happened to me... but you be the judge...
The first time I tried to cook BBQ. I had some friends over and planned on having some nice steaks. Well, nothing I did, seemed to go as planned...
I was late coming back from the store and everyone was there.
I explained that the store was packed and there was an accident, they all laughed and said �yeah surrrre.� �No really� Ok .. �when's dinner, you�ve been talking about it all week, saying how good it�s going to be, so just bring your appetites and leave the cooking to me. Well, we did and you don�t even have the fire started.. are you sure you don�t need some help there mike.� Ron asked. �Na, I got it, just sit back and enjoy the show.� �Ok�
I went over to the grill with Ron following close in tow. I opened the grill and to my surprise I had forgotten to clean the grill the last time I had tried it out on some hamburgers. I know I said, this was my first time and it was, this was the first time I cooked steaks and the first time I was under the gun in front of my friends.. I thought to myself, if I mess this up, I�ll never live it down...
So the pressure was definitely on..
I looked at the grill then at the steaks, then back at the grill, A light-bulb went off in my head. Now I�ve got a plan... Ron asked � what are you up to ?, � just step back and watch the master at work.� I scraped the grill a bit and put the charcoals in, stacked them in a nice pyramid shape, following the instructions on the bag, (glad it had pictures) then I replaced the grill and sprayed almost of the entire bottle of litter fluid over the grill and coals. Ron asked, isn�t that a bit much ?.. �Na I�ve got a plan� I repeated.
I thought the extra fluid and flame generated would clean the grill and burn off, leaving a nice clean disinfected grill to cook on..
�WHAM !!�... Boy, was I wrong!!
The fumes exploded creating a fire-ball that singed and curled my hair and eyebrows not to mention blackened my face..
I turned around to the surprise of my guest. I remember someone asking, if I was Ok, and when I replied �yes� everyone started  ... I didn�t know what was sooo funny at the time, until I looked in the mirror after the party was over.
Well, on went the steaks. I guess I should have read the entire instructions.
Because after the fire went out twice and the litter fluid was gone. I ended up getting a little help from Ron. He suggested we use, just a little gas.
I thought about it for a moment and said �ok� but just a little, cause I know what that stuff is like..
I poured a little in a cup and with great care poured a little on the side and...�WHAM.. !!
There goes the steaks, Cindy caught one just before it hit the ground and the other landed in a sand pile. Someone jokingly said, �That ones yours, Mike� Ah, it�s ok,.. I replied, �just a little sand�, but then someone added,
�the cat was just over there, you�d better re-think that.� Yuk..
One out, two to go.. bottom of the ninth, bases loaded or was that just me.. I think I got a little buzzed from the gas fumes or could it have been a slight concussion..
�Are they done yet,� yelled a neighbor, who was threatening to call 911.
Not quite as the fire was slowly going out. �Hurry� I shouted, someone get a hair-drier. ( I seen that trick on TV ) well I�ll be cookin� with gas soon,
Oh, I shouldn�t tempt fate again.
Well I was just about out of breathe from blowing on the coals, when Ron came running up with the hair-drier.
I clicked the switch and nothing happened �Is it plugged in ?� I asked, as
I looked at him. He had a funny look on his face. We both stared at each other with a disappointing look. �The fire� Nancy yelled, Oh yeah, so I went back to huffin� and puffin� waving my hat, flapping my arms like some extinct prehistoric bird, till they got back with the extension-cord and got the drier plugged in. By that time I felt like I had run a marathon and was close to passing-out due to exhaustion.
�Well now, that�s the ticket� as I turned the hair-drier on full blast. � you think that will do the trick?� Ron asked.
�it should� �OK� So as I turned the hair-drier towards the coals,
I caught Ron backing up out of the corner of my eye.
whoosh!!
ashes flying all over the place, on the steaks in my hair and even some up my nose, but Ron had reached a safe distance by then. I can still hear the neighbor saying, �What�s a party with-out confetti �
Well to make a long story short, I finally got the fire going and steaks cooked, So when I finally took them off, I breathed a big sye of relief.
Emergency over... as the neighbor was just arriving with his fire-extinguisher. �I cooked one for you too� but he declined saying, �I�ve already eaten, but I�ll leave this with you just in case�
Well I sat there and cut into my steak. I looked around to see if anyone had tried it, but they were all looking at me, The had a seemingly innocent smile on their faces but I could tell they were up to something.
So I asked, aren�t you going to eat up? I thought you guys were hungry ?�
�It�s customary, that the host takes the first bite.� At least that�s what they told me.. It�s funny, I�ve never heard that one before. Well here goes nothing...
I took a big bite out of the steak and said �Hummmm, � boy it�s good !� (I lied) sending everyone to start digging in. They all said, it wasn�t too bad but I could taste the gas and sand that was still embedded in mine.
Looking back at that day from the pictures that were taken, everyone that sees them ask, �is that really you ?� I don�t know if it was my blackened face, ashes in my �now� curly hair and eyebrows or the funny look on my face from the multiple concussion I suffered
or it just could have been the taste of the gas, sand filled steak.....
Crunch... Crunch
Are you getting hungry yet ?:eat:
God Bless you
Michael
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