Author Thread: serious or not?
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serious or not?
Posted : 16 Apr, 2009 07:02 PM

Question for my christian brothers. Is it possible, or a way of discovering or finding out if a guy is seriously interested or just after a physical relationship?



I have had a few guys ask me out, unbelievers, and i won't date an unbeliever for reasons i think are obvious,ie scriptural (not being unequally yoked etc). One guy (doctor) was up front with the girlfriend with benefits pitch, thankfully. I replied that as a believer, sex is for marriage etc, he replied he's just looking for someone to go out with 'to do mutually enjoyable things...and he respected my decision. but still would like to go out. He is originally hindu.



I want what i say and do to be christ honoring, leave the door open to presenting the gospel to this guy. but am unsure as a christian woman what kind of relationship to stick with to an unbelieving guy. Do you know what i mean? I think of Joseph with potiphers wife and the temptation he faced, and the scriptural response was to run (from temptation). What do you think is going on here? And as a christian how can i best honor God here from a male perspective?

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serious or not?
Posted : 16 Apr, 2009 08:11 PM

I should say my feelings don't matter, the right thing does. But feelings can cloud judgment. I don't know if this is a situation where i should run as joseph did so as not to be a stumbling block to him. or proceed with caution trying to avoid a "ah oh, what do i do know?" situation.

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Linnie41

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serious or not?
Posted : 16 Apr, 2009 08:40 PM

I'm kind of going off the top of my head with this one, but I would say leave him alone. I know that God uses us to reach others, but in this situation where he has already made a sex pitch to you, I would be more concerned with your safety. If you want to keep ministering to him via the internet, great. But I would advise you not to meet with him face to face. He has made his intentions clear.

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serious or not?
Posted : 16 Apr, 2009 09:56 PM

great, thanx. I'm tending to lean that way too.

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jeshurun777

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serious or not?
Posted : 17 Apr, 2009 12:46 PM

Question for my christian brothers. Is it possible, or a way of discovering or finding out if a guy is seriously interested or just after a physical relationship?







I have had a few guys ask me out, unbelievers, and i won't date an unbeliever for reasons i think are obvious,ie scriptural (not being unequally yoked etc). One guy (doctor) was up front with the girlfriend with benefits pitch, thankfully. I replied that as a believer, sex is for marriage etc, he replied he's just looking for someone to go out with 'to do mutually enjoyable things...and he respected my decision. but still would like to go out. He is originally hindu.







I want what i say and do to be christ honoring, leave the door open to presenting the gospel to this guy. but am unsure as a christian woman what kind of relationship to stick with to an unbelieving guy. Do you know what i mean? I think of Joseph with potiphers wife and the temptation he faced, and the scriptural response was to run (from temptation). What do you think is going on here? And as a christian how can i best honor God here from a male perspective?





Yeah a good question by you!



The children of God must live according to the standards of word of God.Man shall not live by bread alone but by the every word comes from the mouth of God!



It is clear that we are called by God to testify his word to unbeliever but never be alone with an unbeliever male.

Do not maintain any close relationship with the unbelievers.Otherwise we have to pay a lot for that.But many Christians say that we can change them after our marriage.But what the command of God is? Are we being Christians obeying God�s commandments or want to fulfill our own will rather than submitting ourselves to the revealed determined will of God �For how do you know,O wife,whether you will save your husband?Or how do you know,O husband,whether you will save your wife�(ICor 7:16).Many people have suffered a lot by getting married to unequally yoked unbeliever and satan is very tricky in this regard to catch as many as God�s children into this pit so that they are out of God�s will and plan.please read� Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers.For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?And what accord has Christ with Belial? Or what part has a believer with an unbeliever?.......................Therefore �Come out from among them and be separate,says the Lord.Do not touch what is unclean,and I will receive You� (2 Cor 6:14-18).



The word of God says that we are to love our neighbours but we cannot trust them (Jer 9:4;8).while evangelizing an unbeliever you give them tracts you preach them gospel help them if they ask anything but don�t spend much time with them then they will think why this brother or sister is so different and poius and they will be convinced by our holy behavior that we are the children of God.I have won many people in this way.Hope this will be encouraging.God has set apart the best mate for those who fear in him only thing we have to do is pray,fast & pray(Matt 7:7-12) and You see God reveals the best thing he has store for you! God always has his best to his children who fear him! Amen!

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cedarwoody

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serious or not?
Posted : 20 Apr, 2009 08:06 AM

Another good clear answer and bit of advice linnie 41. At least in this situation he made his intentions clear enough. Danger,danger,danger! Seems to me this particular case was fairly easy to decide which path to take. It's the cases where a person is not up front with thier intentions that can really lead to trouble. Hidden agendas that are slow in coming and recognizing can lead to major issues. An old "Hill Street Blues" phrase comes to mind, "You be careful out there." Very good question posted, this anon. web thing is paved with pitfalls! Pray for guidance and discernment. God is watching out for us.

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Posted : 20 Apr, 2009 03:18 PM

thanx, i appreciate the comments.. it's good to be able to get advice/opinions etc from other christian guys (a concensus sort of speak for lack of a better word). Even though i know even a christian site can be questionable at times. but good to know too that we all wrestle with the same issues at times, each one's different experiences and be a building block for someone else.

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