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Author	Thread: help me out here ladys
Admin	help me out here ladys Posted : 2 May, 2009 09:47 PM Ok lady's here's my question. If your a virgin how important is it for your guy to be one too ? Because I'm twenty one and still a virgin and honestly I don't know how much longer I can take it .I get harassed by my friends that do know and I have to lie to the ones that don't. I really hate lying to them it makes me feel like dirt , but I let that information slip out once before and I'm not about to make the same mistake twice .Not to mention as the older I get the harder its going to be to find a girl thats also a virgin and meets and all the other qualification , since most girls loose it in high school .The few that have held out and are even remotely attractive have such a high standard that I cant even get near them .So anyway answer my question as honestly as you can , and thank you for putting up with my bad grammar I know I have just kind of bin rambling on but I really needed to get this off of my chest. Its really bin bothering me lately and it dosnt seem like anybody cares anymore. Post Reply
View Profile History	help me out here ladys Posted : 3 May, 2009 07:08 AM First of all, I want to commend you on your "celibacy". An it is rare to find a man of such caliber and respect!.. However, you should never be ashamed in your beliefs (for most are jealous or have felt so much prior intimidations that they couldn't stand up for their faith or beliefs, so they failed and gave into temptation). Yes there are many young ladies that hold great values on their virginity (and they should). But, "so should you". Just as they, "you are a gift to a woman". So during this time of celibacy, you should place your priority's in place (your relationship with God, values, goals and what you want to share with a woman whom is to become a part of your life, and what she has to have or bring into the relationship). Your faith in God and His word shall be the map to your direction in life. So my suggestion for you, is to get in the word a little more (studying and reading the bible). Because many call themselves a Christian, but doesn't walk under the watchful eye of the Lord (which isn't an easy walk, when you try to be a worldly person too). It's impossible to serve God and a world of destruction. Secondly, I feel you should allow yourself to decide when you are ready to give your virginity away, because only "you" will have to live with the decision or consequences that may come. It says in Romans 14:5; "One man esteemeth one day above another: another esteemeth every day alike. Let every man be fully persuaded in his own mind". Only God can judge you (accept for man made law of court), so you want to pleasing in His site... "Delay is not Denial" (an time has no expiration, "people place expiration times & dates"). Have a blessed day Sweetie! :waving: bye-bye 1WomanofProverbs* Post Reply
View Profile History	help me out here ladys Posted : 3 May, 2009 12:46 PM If a guy were pursuing me and I found out he had given up his virginity because he just couldn't hold out any longer (but that he was very much aware that it was against God's design), then I'd run as fast as I could away from him. And if you do make the mistake of giving in to temptation, there'll be not stopping. You'll just want more and more. Don't give in! Don't do it. Remember, God calls us to a higher standard, not because he wants to give us a bunch of rules, but because he wants to PROTECT us and LOVE us! You absolutely have to put your trust in God and believe in your heart that it really is far better to hold out for the woman you'll marry. You may have desires and plans, but God has an even bigger and much more fulfilling plan for you. He wants to bless you so much, but if you fill your life with baggage, there'll be no room for His blessings. Don't you think it's worth the wait? I want to encourage you to surround yourself with brothers in Christ (your age and older) who will hold you accountable and can share their own struggles. Here is some scripture to encourage you. Write these down and keep reading over them. As you do, God will work wonders in your heart and he will encourage you and strengthen you and give you joy. "May your love and your truth always protect me." Psalm 40:11 "Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him; do not fret when men succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes." Psalm 37:7 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11 Also, read Eph. 3:16-20, which reminds us how powerful God is and that he can do immeasurably more than anything we ask or imagine. And make sure to check out Psalm 13, which starts out "How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever?" I read this often when I feel the impatience creeping in and I CHOOSE to trust in God and wait for him. You see, I'm a 27 year old virgin and trust me, it's not easy for a woman to hold out either! Believe it or not, we too have hormones that are very intense at times! But during this season of waiting, God is preparing you for the future and for the blessings he wants to give you (and sex is just the tip of the iceberg!) But He also wants you to live your life to its fullest TODAY. Life doesn't miracuously become perfect when we get married. He wants to bless you even now with other things, so don't be so consumed with the future that you forget about the present. "Trust in the LORD will all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek His will in all you do, and He will show you which path to take." Proverbs 3:5-6 Many blessings brother! Post Reply
SassieCassie View Profile History	help me out here ladys Posted : 3 May, 2009 05:35 PM I think that is a very good question, Honestly I think that is very awesome that you hacve waited. Ok little background to explain! I was supposed to get married to a guy i met from my church, any who long to short we ened up not waiting till we got married and then things got difficult and we ended up spliting up. So long to short, I would go back and wait. Dont let people make you feel bad that you have made a great decision to wait, its something amazing you can give away once, well your first time at leaset... People will make fun and joke but honestly I think in todays world its hard to find and thats something to be proud of and amazing gift to give your future wife! Any who if you have any more questions please feel free to ask! I will answer anything honestly! Post Reply
View Profile History	help me out here ladys Posted : 3 May, 2009 09:51 PM I know this is in the ask a girl forum, but i felt compelled to speak up. I also am a 21 year old virgin, I would not give it up before being married for anything. I know that its ridiculously hard to take all the smack from the guys. I live with a bunch of guys who don't share my same beliefs, and I constantly am hagled about my virginity, but still, I am not about to give in now. It is the way God inteded it to be, and while it ain't easy now, it will be worth it. Why would you want to bring past experiences like that into your wedding bed? Hand in there man, and remember that God gives us strength. Post Reply

View Profile History	help me out here ladys Posted : 4 May, 2009 07:24 AM First of all, good job for hanging on this long. In answer to your question: in our society I would not be surprised if the man I married were not a virgin but I would be deeply disappointed. How totally unfair would that be that I, a woman with fully active sexual desires, waited but he gave in? Plus, someone else would have gotten him before me? I would be intensely insecure knowing it was my first time and he was free to compare me to someone else. It would be awful (not to mention awkward). Guys who wait, guys who hold out and are honorable, who love but show restraint and can leash their passions until the acceptable time, are totally sexy. Now, in response to your question; staying a virgin until marriage isn't supposed to just be about the girl, it's supposed to be about honoring God. If you're trying to stay a virgin on the off chance that you'll get to stop being a virgin some day I don't think you'll last very long. Sex is supposed to be something holy and sex outside of marriage is essentially a sort of blasphemy. At least, that's how I see it. As for your friends, I don't understand why you feel the need to lie. Why are you ashamed of your virginity? They are not more men for what they have done (whether or not they think they are). If you believe you are doing what is right than hold your head high. Also, I'm a 25 year old virgin and, believe me, the ribbing is not restricted to men alone. Where are your Christian friends to defend or encourage you? I also notice that you say that the few women who have held out and are even remotely attractive have such high standards that you can't even get near them. What are these "such high standards"? Why don't you fit them? Is there some way that you could meet these standards? I was always taught that I should try to be the kind of person who would attract the kind of person I want. Please be encouraged, there are good women of all types out there. Be a good man and serve God. Remember that He is working all things out toward your good. Post Reply
View Profile History	help me out here ladys Posted : 4 May, 2009 09:16 PM from an older woman's perspective: while in graduate school i had two single female friends who were dating and ended up marrying virgins, the women were in their mid-twenties. Those women felt very special they had waited for them and their wedding night. It's proved better than a 2 carat. I would recommend to also take this time to read and study about women... to prepare yourself to be a husband and good father. There is also a book within the title "who moved the goal posts" , it may still have some value to you at age 21. Post Reply
hesformeareyou View Profile History	help me out here ladys Posted : 7 May, 2009 12:38 PM If you really want a good christian girl and want to have a real Chrsit like marriage then you should be proud of your virgin status. I know my two daughters, 24 and 18 are virgins and proud of it. my son also 21 is a virgin and my not boast about it but if it comes up in a conversation he would not lie about it and be proud because it is what it is. it doesn't make you less of a Guy if you haven't done it. My daughters are looking to marry men who are themselves virgins too. not all girls want a guy with experience. It's more fun and blessed to find out about each other together. (after marriage) Believe me good things come to those who wait. If you find yourself thinking and desiring those things which you can't have you need to stop and pray and give it over to the Lord. think about other things, take a cold shower, sounds stupid but it can work. don't listen to your guy friends who are not virgins. They are actually probably jelous of you knowing that your going to wait because it takes more of a real MAN to do that. So as the mother of two daughters and a son i would tell you yes, there are girls out there who only want virgin men. they are worth the wait... they are waiting for you. :) Post Reply
View Profile History	help me out here ladys Posted : 8 May, 2009 08:14 PM Hey everybody thanks for the advice . I really don't know how much better it makes me feel though. Its not so much that Iv never had sex although that is a big part , its that iv never even bin in a relationship. If I actually had a girlfriend ,had something to look forward to ,it might not be so bad but here I am alone on a Friday night again -_-.I just don't know what the problem is Iv bin told im pretty good looking Iv got a decent car Im not loaded with money but Im not broke either and I think Im a vary good Christian. I guess nice guys always finish last. Post Reply
hesformeareyou View Profile History	help me out here ladys Posted : 9 May, 2009 02:03 PM Nice guys don't always finish last. Remember who you are in Christ. You a a special guy set apart from the rest. I'm sure God has a special girl out there for you. when HIs timing is right you two will meet. hold your head up and be proud of who and what you are. Your confidence it that will shine through and will be attractive to the good Christian girls. If your not involved in a church group for young singles i would suggest you find a group like that to get involved with or even help out with the youth ministry at your church. High school kids have connections to other family members or even peole your age who may be looking for good Christian friends to hang out with. If you can focus on others needs instead of what you feel your lacking, it will help you a lot to overcome the feeling of being alone. Hope i helped and didn't sound to preachy.. God Bless you Beth :) Post Reply