Hello friends, about two weeks ago I found someone that I'm interested to know more about, which ultimately made me decided to give this site a second try, after six years of totally away.
I finally rounded up my courage to send her a message, telling her about my intention, and I'm not messing around with her, so on and so forth. I know I didn't cross the line, because I always make sure in everything that I do and say can be held accountable later. She is also the first and the only person I ever sent these kind of messages to, and there's no one else here that I want talk to regularly and have a connection with.
Anyway, she did the read the message though, despite it was so messed up thanks to the system. She doesn't block me from sending more messages, and she also changed her profile photo which is very nice by the way imho, but she didn't respond to my message. Hahaha.
I know I'm being stupid and perhaps I'm reading too much in what seems to be nothing, but it's been ages since I was in a relationship, to be precise, it was 14 years ago. So yeah, this is like a whole new territory to me.
I don't know what's going on, and I don't know what's on her mind. I want to ask her what's the meaning of her silent treatment, questions like:
am I being rejected?
am I being considered?
am I being told to wait?
and what's stopping me of course, is that I don't want to do anything that will make her feel uncomfortable, or can be categorized as harassing her.
I'm thinking about moving on, but I'm not at peace, so I can't do it yet.
I wonder, what if she's actually waiting for me to make my move?
And because moving on is the wrong choice, she's gonna think that I'm not serious with her, and I quit too easily, therefore I ended up hurting her feelings.
Then again, I also understand very well that I don't have anything that will make her want to know more about me, or even want to be in a committed long distance relationship with me. This is not self-pity, just a reality. Therefore, she may not be waiting for anything at all, and is simply ignoring me.
Any advices?
Thanks, and may the Lord bless you abundantly for helping a fellow believer in crisis
It is something to do with chemistry & seeing the persona and generally looking at their face that swings it. If we do not get the basics its so hard to imagine it can be just what we imagined or hoped for? The online introductions is more challenging because everyone deep down requires a higher level of transparency. But if we don't click it does not mean that one isn't a good catch for someone else. I'm just mindful that if I'm not interested I try to gently say a firm no without mixed messages as some people take rejection in bad way & can get nasty even on this Christian/ dating sites.
But wisdom is often needed as well as help of the Holy Spirit to warn & guide each of us if we ask God to tell us how to progress.
I appreciate all of your advice and your encouragement.
If I could delete this thread, I would have done it.
I was too quick to decide she didn't respond to me, when she actually did.
She was using her profile to communicate with me.
I wasn't aware of it. I thought it was a just normal online thing that people do, because who doesn't update a profile and change their photos from time to time, right? Don't know why she chose not to write a message to me instead, I guess maybe she is similar to me, a bit OCD, and doesn't like to see a neatly typed long message got cramped up together as one big pile of mess.
Because I thought I was ignored, I said goodbye to her. I did however, told her that I read everything, and I thanked her for taking the time to write that much, I encouraged her to stay strong in her faith, then I quit. I noticed she was online, but it didn't stop me from clicking the delete my profile button. Perhaps I should have stopped for a moment, because maybe at that time she actually wanted to talk to me.
For a few weeks after I quit, whenever I pray for her and her family, I have this gut feeling that just won't go away. I'm very familiar with it, because it's that gentle nudge the Holy Spirit gives you when you have done something wrong to someone, or when you have an unfinished business with someone, telling you that you need to settle it.
I knew right away who is the person I have wronged, because my circle of interaction these days is very small, so I came back to apologize and seek for her forgiveness, but she has already deactivated her profile. Definitely the confirmation I needed to know that I have disappointed her, and hurt her.
I don't know when she will log in again, or if she ever will, because it kinda looks like she has given up on this site for the time being. Nevertheless, I have written my apology message for her on my profile, and when she returns, I know God will guide her to see it, and she will read it, then she will know the truth.
For now, I find comfort in knowing that God is comforting her and is helping her get through the pain I have caused, and that He will turn this into something good, for her and for me, like He always does.
I can also confirm that she's a legit person, because I have looked her up, I know enough, and suffice to say, she has been very honest with me, which made me very glad, because I have also been very honest with her from the start.
Anyway, I just wanted to say all of these to clear the air, and put an end to this thread.
Goodbye friends. Stay strong in your faith, GBU all.
I did say I wasn't going to update this, but I thought everyone should hear a good news once in awhile and be encouraged, hehe ;)
I finally got to talk to her. It wasn't much, but yaaay! I'm so glad and happy that I didn't give up. All it took was just one tiny step of faith and a change to my perspective.
I too have been on this site years ago. I have several people who are friends on facebook from this site. I have returned and wish to be just friends with some of the people who post here. I have to get to know someone before I invite them to me facebook page. My profile name is used for the purpose of privacy.
That toxic period is over. It was very exhausting to play a game of pursuing and being pushed away constantly. Left feeling devastated, unwanted, with my self-worth almost completely destroyed. At the time I'm writing this, I'm still shocked to know there is a type of people who read your messages but can't be bothered to reply. And when you ask them why, you get either "I'm busy with work and family.", or "I have to think about the response.", or "I'm not ready for a relationship." yet most of the time, you're left on read anyway.
Personally speaking if I was to write to someone see they'd read my message and just not replied. I would move on, I wouldn't write back to ask them the reason why. I wouldn't want to get to know anyone who lacks manners and common courtesy.
