I started dating at age 30. Now I am 37. Over the past several years, I have talked to a lot of women and I have been in a relationship or two. And I am trying to educate myself to find out what it is that makes good marriages, because that is my #1 prayer to God. I would like to have a good marriage. But first, I have to find a marriage partner. So, how do you do that?
I am going to make a guess. I have messaged about 300-400 women, and about 10% of them READ my messages. Half of those who read them RESPONDED to me. And maybe one or two went on to start an exclusive conversation with me, so we were chatting for weeks or months, and we became close friends. We were not a good match, so I did not marry any one of them. But we got to know each other pretty well.
Getting married is like buying a house with one exception -- you are not allowed to sell it ever. So, the house you're going to buy is the place you're going to call "home" for the rest of your life. So, you go house hunting with THAT MINDSET. You are looking for a place you can call "Sweet Home," and it's going to be the house where you retire.
Now, if I wanted to look at a house inside and I called the realtor, and she didn't answer her phone, I would be very disappointed. I would call her in the morning, at noon, afternoon, even at night. If she never answered her phone and never called me back, I would eventually go to the realtor's office and knock on the door. If buying house involved so much hassle like finding a date, then very few people would buy/sell houses. And the moment they got a chance to SEE a house inside, they would feel pressured to buy it on the spot, because they just hate calling and calling and getting no answer. So, even though the house might be very-very different than what I DESIRE, I would feel pressured to buy it IF IT'S SUCH A HASSLE to look at houses. I think, dating sites in general are extremely ineffective, because of what I just described. On the other hand, if you try to talk to women in real life, it's kind of like stopping at a red light in traffic and getting out of your car and walking over to the car in front of you and asking the driver, "Excuse me ma'am, Is your car for sale?" LOL Now, you know, that's what car lots are for. There are places where they have lots of little flags. They have a bunch of cars, and they are ALL for sale. That's where you go if you want to buy a car. So, a car dealership would be a dating site. Right? You go to a dating site, and write messages to women, and they don't respond. And I am thinking something is wrong with the world, because THIS SIMPLE THING SHOULD NOT BE SO DIFFICULT! I mean I can go on Craigslist and put up my bike for sale, and I would instantly start getting messages from the buyers. Why should DATING be so much more complicated?
Your age is part of the reason, but not the main reason. Americans (Mostly women) generally have poor social skills, and despite feminism still want men to always make the first move. I know so many women from ages 17-45 who are unhappy and single because they don't have the social skills to approach men they want to date. I could blame technology, but the problem is actually the culture itself.
The problem is women are not reading their messages. And I am not blaming them or their social skills. It has nothing to do with that, I think. I am blaming the system, the way this whole thing works. And it's not just in the US. I think, this is globally the same. It's not good. The way humans try to find their mate is just not very good. I don't like it. Lol
Dating sites would be far more effective if everyone exercised basic manners & common courtesy. For me there is no substitute for just getting out there and meeting people face to face, it's so easy for people to hide behind their computer screens.
Jay... you know I've had a problem with some of your posts in the past, but... This last entry of yours, in my opinion, is SPOT ON.
My profile is more or less a mock profile at this point. I tried half as many women as our persistent originator of this thread, and I got sick of all the non-reads, and the few reads who didn't even respond, and VERY few who did never developed into even a prolonged platonic relationship.
I do not know what exactly the problem is. I just contacted a woman here, "Supshorty" I believe her screen ID is, merely asking her what she meant by "semi-single". She actually responded, but only to ask why I didn't have any photos of myself. I reiterated what is already on my profile and then restated my question. Her response was to block me. How incredibly childish. But, this is what I encounter here.
Too many women here want men who are younger. Sorry ladies, that is not going to work -- generally speaking. One woman in these threads called herself a "proud cougar". I just shake my head. And they complain about men wanting the pretty young things.
I've had CHRISTIAN women tell me, TO MY FACE, that I was too short for them. One of these was shorter than I, but feared feeling stupid when she stood next to me wearing heels.
Younger men, heel-worthiness, etc., are among the Christian woman's priorities it seems.
I agree with Jayzee 100%. Doing this online makes it very easy for people to be rude, even women who's profiles are laced with Christianese. But, a good chunk of the women here too have stratospheric priorities. A product of our spoiled American culture? (Not that I'm not PROUD to be an American, but no culture is perfect.) Perhaps a result of carnality seeping into the church? Whatever it is, there are a lot of good people out there who, it seems, will go to their graves alone.
"I've had CHRISTIAN women tell me, TO MY FACE, that I was too short for them. One of these was shorter than I, but feared feeling stupid when she stood next to me wearing heels. "
If a women pulled that BS on me, my response would be something like this, "Cool, not that I think of it, your too ugly and whoreish looking for my tats. Good day."
To think someone can be so short minded and shallow that they have to have someone over a certain height is mind numming. I can get it if you were a midget or something do to the heath problems. But being a few inches short?
I think your over thinking it. Just chill out, throw out the odd message and what happens happens.
I've had success in real life and online (if you can call failed relationships that). I'd be willing to put effort into the right woman but to be honest probably 90+ percent aren't actually worth bothering with, you're not missing out.
If you let a woman become your main priority in life it will lead you down a bad road, this is not a good time to be in such a place with the tribulation period about to start.
Nibiru (Wormwood) as featured in the book of Daniel & Revelation is very close. Check the sunset regularly and carefully.
Marcouse: Seriously? Why are YOU here if you believe it’s all about to go down?
Folks: Jesus said the end would come when everyone heard the gospel. To my knowledge, there are something like 3 billion people in the world who’ve yet to hear it. Oh… and I’d seriously reconsider interpreting Bible prophecy via newspaper headlines or a bizarro website whose writer is accountable to no one.