Hey everyone! Adam here... I have spent the last 3 years looking for my significant other. As you can see from my profile on here, I live in a country called New Zealand. For those of you that dont know where that is, if you look on a globe and come down towards the southern hemisphere, head towards australia, and keep coming south, and you have got it, Yep it is pretty tiny and I dont have many friends around here and hence why im on a dating site. I met a girl named Lorna on this site and we sorta went a bit too fast with thigns and we fell in "love" in about a week and was going to arrange for her to come visit me here and talking about marriage in a year or so. Well turns out she was still having feelings for her ex who managed to find his way back to her. I gave nothing but my all and was thinking of nothing else but her the whole way through the relationship, if this could even be called a relationship. And what I got in the end was nothing but heart break and she wouldnt leave me alone and started calling me all sorts of things like selfish and stuff. And the way the conversation that triggered the selfish comment was that I asked her how her feet was doing because she was going on about how she burnt her feet at a dance party she went to with her ex the night before. I dont think I need to mention here how terrible it was for me with her not leaving me alone on top of the cheating and the heart break.
And now looks like im back to the old writing a lot of emails out to girls and not getting any replies. As much as I believe that God has the perfect person out there, I have to admit that it is getting harder and harder for me right now to keep believing that. I am actually at the point where I would be looking at the profile of girls that I think match me quite nicely, and I would get girlphobia and be scared to even write them emails. I am so lost, confused and sad, I cry myself to sleep every night. I have to constantly pray and ask God for grace and the power to keep believing that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I am starting to believe more and more that I may not be fit to date. For the first I dont even remember how many years that I have been a total social reject and didnt ahve ne friends. Now I feel like that again and I dont know whats wrong with myself, But i seem to be someone that girls just want to avoid at all costs. I am thinking of giving up on even trying to find her, as much as I really do not want to let go of the belief that God has definitely got someone perfect for me, as much as I totally want to believe that one day I will be able to settle down with someone and be happy and have a family, I am starting to believe more and more that maybe im just not the type of guy girls are into these days. Maybe its my looks, maybe im just too much of an active person and girls find me annoying to the max, i dont even know what other maybes there are. I have to pray to God everyday to ask for grace on this, I cant go on living like this ne more. I AM ON THE VERGE OF A TOTAL BREAKDOWN, AND I FEEL LIKE GIVING UP THIS DATING BUSINESS FOREVER. AS MUCH AS I DO WANT TO REALLY GEUNIELY MAKE A GIRL HAPPY, AND PROVE TO HER THAT CHIVALRY LIVES AND EVERYTHING, I JUST...
God led me to this site. at first i was looking for a long term relationship, i wanted to find someone, satisfy my needs. but what i didn�t see was that these were my need and not what God has in plan for me, whatever that might be. i know its not Gods interest in me to be with just anybody so i am satisfied. i had that happen so often in my life and every single time it hurt! i started talking to people in the forums and found what the Lord wanted me to find, people with the same feelings, emotions, needs, the everyday christian folk. i am not looking for a long term relationship anymore but i am willing to let God lead me to the man thats ment for me, whether its here at cdff or elsewhere. God led me here for a reason, even if its just learning from and with all these wonderful people here to hear and feel Gods will in my heart!
Don't give up hope! Everything happens for a reason and God knows what He's doing! I was engaged and all set to get married, and then unfortunately my fiance passed away, so i'm back in a place that I didn't think I would be too, "still searching for my significant other" But as I said, God knows ALL things, and He has the perfect woman out there for you! Just keep hope! And in regards to your friend who has the girlfriend, the Bible specifies in Psalms 37:1 - Do not fret because of evildoers, Nor be envious of the workers of iniquty, For they shall soon be cut down like the grass, and wither as the green herb!
Since your friend is commiting fornication with his girlfriend, he's not in God's will. Wait for the woman of God that God has for you! Blessings! :goofball:
Well Adam, all I can say is "Ouch!" Thanks for sharing - and venting. Hey, I know it's cold comfort, but remember first that we are all striking out (yup, every one of us). In fact, I think I'll put up a post elsewhere on that subject.
Please don't give up. and Kudos to you for sticking to your guns on sexual immorality.
But let me get this straight: You're only 22? You've got LOTS of time man; relax a little bit. I'm 40, and I've wanted to be married all this time. I know how ya feel!
You did the right thing posting here on the forums though - post lots.
Hey - are you on other christian dating sites as well? FOr me, they are perfect because I live in the boondocks of Canada where really, there are very, very few women to pick from. I suspect you're probably in the same situation?
And yes, we all send emails to people and get no responses; there's a variety of reasons for this - it's not always that they've not interested, but out of probably a dozen or so that I sent, I've only gotten replies (all of them "sorry, not interested") for about two of them. All the others never even wrote back, and it's the same for the women too I hate to say it.
So what I'm saying is that it's just par for the course here. Keep your chin up, and keep trying. I know it's tough, but what little experience I've had, it seems to be the same in "real life" anyway.
I know how you feel, but you can be assured that you are not alone. Women suffer from the same insecurities as men. If you really want to hear God laugh, try telling him your plans. Sounds like you are suffering from a crisis of faith. God has put someone out there just for you, and he will place that person in your path when he thinks the time is right. This situation does not reflect poorly upon you, it is all about her. She is attempting to make it all about you to justify her inappropriate behavior. It's a defense mechanism called displacement. Unfortunately, it is the innocent individual that is left wondering "what did I do wrong?". If you are talking marriage after a week, you might want to ask yourself, are you in love with this individual, you in love with the idea of being in love, or are you trying to escape your lonliness? I've been where you are, so I know what you are going through. Just block her communications and tell yourself that you deserve better than this sort of treatment. It's not you, it's her!
i know exactly how it fees. i myself have developed the phobia of men (Androphobia). it hasn't been easy the last three years for me, so it seems we have those two things in common. but i know it happened for a reason. after what happened in my last relationship, i was far from ok. but now i realize that if it hadn't happened to me, i wouldn't be out there helping other abuse victims. so, even though now you're questioning why you're going thru this, later on down the life road, He will reveal the answer to you.
You're in my prayers, my friend. may your life get better:glow:
Hey, AZ. Welcome to my old world.Have u ever thought that GOD may be allowing those events to teach you to trust Him and to see if you will stay peaceful and calm in the midst of the storm? He does work in mysterious ways. Have you considered that GOD may have allowed that to teach you how to rule over your emotions? He may be trying to toughen you up! To help you develop some backbone and stability in your life. God actually allows us to go thru struggles to see how strong we are. I use to pray, "GOD,if you change my circumstances,then I'll change.":laugh:Nope, it works the other way around.We have to be willing to change our attitudes and deal w/the issues GOD brings up;then GOD will change those circumstances!GOD loves you far too much. Remember she will come in GOD'S time. Just thank GOD for her. Speak faith. You do want the best,right? We have to speak out in faith to the things we can not see as if they were there! I am standing in agreement w/you for that beautiful someone GOD has sent your way! Remember, GOD'S word says when 2 or more are gathered in HiS name, He will be in the midst. What more do you want! Az. you take care. Your sister in Christ. :rolleyes:
