One of the key identifying behaviors of a narcissist is the manner in which they use double standards and hypocrisy. For them, it is perfectly fine to criticize, insult, and accuse their victims of even the smallest things they see as slights. When their victim finally becomes angry, they will claim the victim is unstable or needs professional help. However, when tables are turned, and the victim finally speaks some truth about them, they become very angry, even to the point of rage, and are the first to deny anything they do. They judge flaws and faults of others, while completely dismissing their own. They will command apologies out of others, while never apologizing themselves. They demand respect for themselves, while being the most obnoxious, arrogant, disrespectful asses themselves. A narcissist will always reveal themselves in their hypocrisy and the way they become angry when their victim asserts their rights to defend themselves. According to a narcissist, their targets have no rights to disagree with them, to have different opinions, to speak their minds, to defend themselves, to get mad or to have feelings, to be heard, to be respected, to respond to any of their accusations or criticisms, or to speak up about the abuse or mistreatment. Their hypocrisy gives them away. A narcissistic abuser has rules they expect others to follow, but follow none of their own rules.
There is actually a fairy tale about a young man who was a narcissist. He admired himself in a crystal clear pool of water and fell in love with his own reflection. In Greek mythology he was turned into the spring flower, the Narcissus.
