Author Thread: Are people here any different?
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Are people here any different?
Posted : 31 Jul, 2009 05:38 AM

I don't mean to be offensive or rude, but why do most people around here seem so similar to those in other social websites?



The main reason I signed up in here is because I thought I'd actually get to meet Christians, real ones. To my shock, most of the people I run into are people who just want dates that won't cheat on them. Yes, this is a Christian dating website, but are we supposed to act without manners?



Aside from the forum, where real supporters apparently are, all I could see are shallow people who judge by the looks, single parents who are picky, and users from countries that think they are higher than other users. You try to be simply nice to single mom, she thinks you're a pervert. You try making small chats with guys, they look down on you or think you're gay or don't want anything to do with a terrorist. You try to contact a lady from Australia or Sweden and she thinks you're after a free pass to democracy land. It's not exactly nice of me to say this, but those who act like that, SHAME ON YOU. Aren't we supposed to be brothers and sisters? If a guy sends a message to a lady, and she doesn't even like his picture, she doesn't bother replying back with a nice "Thank you, but...".



As sad as it is, almost everyone I met here is as shallow as anyone in other social sites. Difference? We "claim" we're Christians. Well, way to go, brothers and sisters. I'm not here for a date or a long term relationship or anything... I'm just here to meet Christians... All ages, races, genders... All the Christians I could meet. We are a rare dying breed. We say "there IS a God, and his name is Jesus Christ", and we're mocked for life. Yet here, where we say we live by the book, we don't even reply to simple hello notes sent to us. I only met 3 nice persons here. Hopefully I'm wrong, and my brains are all messed up that I can't figure things out right. Have a good one.

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Posted : 1 Aug, 2009 07:25 AM

I'll just point some thoughts here. I think that if you want somethiing badly enough.... you may end up squeezing the life out of it... let's take marriage for example.. you want to be married but then marriage in and of itself becomes a god in your life... you think about it more than you think about God and God gets pushed to the wayside...



Second it is hard to make a fair assessment of people that go on this web-site until you have met every single person which likely hasn't happened... so it is unfair to judge everyone but just a sampling of people you may or may not have encountered... it is easy to point fingers at others but at times looking at ourselves is a good starting point....



Third... I'm started to be preachy but... christian doesn't mean perfection in action.. but rather work in progress.. we aren't saved because we are good enough... we are saved because God chose to love us. And often times the change that does occur in us is ultimately due to God himself rather than us forcing the change.



I do agree with you in the fact that at times we need to ask God to change the way we think... instead of looking for someone special.. be someone special... seek to understand rather than to be understood... life isn't simply about finding that special someone that will never let you down or disappoint you... if that is what you are looking for.. you'll ultimately end up very frustrated.. because what we desire most is God Himself.

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Posted : 2 Aug, 2009 01:11 AM

DEAR CREATIVE, I COULD NOT HAVE PUT THAT ANY BETTER, WHAT A RESPONSE, I WISH ALL THAT BELIEVE THEY WILL HAVE OR ARE ON THE QUEST OF A FAIRY TALE (PERFECTION BASED) LIFESTYLE CAN READ THIS, INFACT, MAY THE SPIRIT LEAD THEM TO READ THIS. IN JESUS MIGHTY NAME, AMEN.

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Posted : 2 Aug, 2009 10:54 AM

Well, Creative's answer would have been good IF it was an answer to what I had written. Focus, people. Look around you. I'm not looking for a relationship. I just want to interact with other Christians. You seem to be missing the point here. The users are not being Christian-like in their attitudes. If we, Christians, don't behave nice, who would?

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Posted : 2 Aug, 2009 05:19 PM

No one. If no standard for living has been set, then no one will try to achieve it.



I see what you are trying to say, Nabs, that we, as Christians, are called to a higher standard of living, one that is not seen as often as I would like, even among Christians. Granted, we are forgiven for the mistakes we make, because of our Faith in Christ that he washes our sins away with his cleansing blood, but that does not change the fact that we are still called to be better men, and women. We are called to live lives above reproach, to put all others before ourselves, to give freely of our time and money; yet very few of us actually live up to that calling. I know I sure fail at it more often than not. I don't know why, even amongst ourselves, we as Christians feel like it is ok to act like much of the secular world, instead of living as lights in the darkness, separating ourselves completely from the world in spirit, while still residing within the world to spread the light that Christ has instilled within us.



Just my thoughts.

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Posted : 5 Aug, 2009 04:45 PM

Yes, YES, thank you!

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Gretal630

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Posted : 6 Aug, 2009 07:12 PM

Let the love of God flow through you and also through your chatting and you will receive it back. I'm new to this site. Actually it's my 3rd dayl. YEAH....i get to chat. The feeling of rejection is nothing new it's been here since the beginning of time. However, in the midst of it all there are people that would consider speaking with you in the name of friendship. With that being said, don't judge everyone based on other's actions ok. Be easy and let the Love of Christ flow. Be Encouraged. Stay Blessed.



P.S. I do understand your point but the battle is not yours

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Posted : 9 Aug, 2009 05:36 PM

Oh never mind. None of you is getting the point, and who ever is, probably doesn't want to get involved and post anything, as it could hurt the rep.

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Posted : 13 Aug, 2009 04:24 PM

I believe I know where you are coming from, and what we are called to be and how to behave. You have to remember that we a re human as well though we all fail and it is the call of those we have disappointed to be understanding and to forgive not to judge us. I have met some lovely people on here and some others who were down right rude, you have to remember that all people have different journeys with Christ and all will be at different points, you also have to realise some people are shy and so not reply to anyone not just you. There may also be some non-christians on here exploring the wonder that comes from the salvation and promise fo our saviour, they will most likely not reply but sit in teh shadows waiting for the light to fill them.

do not be so quick to judge especially as you have not met everyone, there are many followers of Christ on here looking for nothing more than to socialise with other christians however also remember that people come on here with a different agenda to find a partner to share their journey with, they can be shrouded in this and shut others out which sounds like what has happened to you, be patient and don't give up, the Lord loves you and will provide you with people to chat to



God Bless

Mandy

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Posted : 16 Aug, 2009 09:40 PM

But... this is a dating site. If you are not looking for dating, then perhaps I might suggest you find a different Christian community.



Do you have a particular denomination of interest? Do you want a general community? Try typing "Christian forums" "Christian social networking" or "Christian chat" into Google and see what you get. Or even specific topics of interest to you, "international Christian pen-pals"



People ARE going to have expectations. Period. End of story. That will never change. Even you have expectations -- you're expecting Christians to adhere to some sort of code of conduct that includes being nice, open, trusting, and non-ethnocentric. I understand how easy it is to idealize individuals, but it really is not just or realistic. We all come with baggage. Personal experiences that create prejudices, fears, etc. Christ heals, but some of these lessons aren't really wounds, they're just wisdom.



Women get taken advantage of often in many different ways. Some of us have a tendency to attract abusive personalities. We (men and women alike) encounter liars, cheats, criminals, perverts, etc on at least a yearly basis, more likely weekly.



In America we have this idea that people should just "trust" one another. Who says? Respect, yes, but trust? That is earned.



Lastly, I don't really see anyplace where you explore the possibility that people's reactions to you might be due in part to your own actions. Have you taken the time to look at how you are approaching people? The first thing I notice is that you seem to have ignored that this website is a dating website, and therefore, people are here to date -- and they will then assume that YOU are too. Don't you think that it might come off as a little weird to contact someone for a reason beyond "dating" if that is what the person is expecting?



The bottom line is this: People have a perspective, a set of expectations, opinions, and beliefs. You are wasting your time if you choose to believe that "they shouldn't," because they WILL. End of story. :)



So no. People are people (no matter how small), and they will behave like people despite creeds or nationalities or gender.



Just my two cents.

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Clay12345

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Posted : 13 Apr, 2010 02:52 PM

No I dont know that we are. I find that some of the best people i know are not of God. The diffrence here is that some of us have put on a lable of Chriatian. Even if we fall short of that Lable at least we try.

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