If you are still married, which you are until officially divorced, why are you on a dating site? While still married, your number one priority as a Christian is to try and reconcile with your spouse. If you have exhausted all efforts and God has given a clear no on making it work, then this time needs to be spent working on your healing and growing closer to Jesus. Not only is jumping into dating shortchanging your own healing process and opportunity for self reflection and growth, it is putting your potential dates into an awkward situation either by causing them to be adulterers'/ess' (remember it's not just about the physical) or putting them in the position of "healer" or "therapist" for your unresolved issues.
Divorce is just a pain the the but, and it takes time, and we all just need to be a good community and support one another no matter what the situation is, and help work through it.
I think you all need to re-read all that I have written. I am not talking about excluding the separated in any way. I am talking ONLY about DATING. That is all. Of course we need to be their friends and Christian community - did I say anything about that? No. Did I speak at all about the "divorced"? No. I am speaking only about the separated that are listed as "dating" on their profile. I feel I've expressed my point of view on the subject enough already.
It's fine to go off topic, I just felt that the responses were directed at me and people were putting words in my mouth. That is what's frustrating. :)
I believe your remarks and questions are valid and do hit an area that I also have written about. I agree with you and understand your point.
First off I believe that there are people on here who are "separated" which still means Married in God's eyes, that are lonely and wanting to find love again and fill that hole in their heart that is causing them so much pain. While it is true as others have mentioned that they may be seeking "friendship", at least that is the claim, I believe they are deceiving themselves. If they are just seeking "friendship" then they can easily seek friendship with someone of the same sex. If it is just "Friendship" they do not need to seek friendship with the opposite sex.
As Christians we have a responsibility to not place a stumbling block before our brothers and sisters. When a person is separated....still Married in God's eyes, by entertaining "Friendships" with the opposite sex they are potentially placing their fellow Christian in a place to sin. Let's not kid ourselves here. Friendships can grow and feelings can grow and people can and do fall in love and if one of the parties is not properly divorced, then that love is sinful because the heart is coveting someone who is still married to another person. This is not legalism Folks, this is being obedient to God and giving Him honor.
The other issue is that some that are "separated" may not be getting divorced for Biblical reasons and if that is the case, then they cannot remarry either. Christ gave us strict guidelines as tot he allowance for divorce and remarriage and that is NEW Covenant teaching for us today, not legalism. But that is another topic. :-)
Bottom line is this. If you are separated, do not seek companionship with someone from the opposite sex as the potential for sin, adultery, coveting, is placed right in front of you. Flee from all appearances of evil and do not cause a fellow believer to stumble. Give yourself time to heal and do not date until long after the divorce is final to be sure you are healed.
Greetings thatjennygir!.. Your topic is to goodl to pass up!.. Although I'm divorced and not sepperated, I feel the need to speak (I pray that I'm not barging)...
However, it is re-inforced and repeated several times through out the bible; "Wives, submit unto your husbands"; "Husbands, love your wives" (just to name a few; Eph.5, Col.3, 1Pet.3 and I can go on..)...
Then we come to "WHOSOEVER SHALL PUT AWAY HIS WIFE, LET HIM GIVE HER A WRITING OF DIVORCEMENT" (MATTEW5:31)... and this was re-written for in-differences..
So with these scriptures being written, I too feel that a singles dating site, should be entertained by the single, divorced and or widowed (especially with Christian sites).
For they have plenty of regular sites, however I don't discriminate, nor am I a judge... But if they are on a Christian Singles Site and are a true Christian or faith based believer's, the only reason I would see them here for "is a little advice" (but quite frankly, I'd be seeking the advice of Christian Marraiges that have lasted & are currently together)... If I wanted to seek Christianity, I wouldn't be asking the devil what he thought (for he knows his job, and it's up to a christian to know theirs)... ANOTHER BIG SCORE FOR GOD!!!!! :boxing: Winners takes all (smile)
I really do not believe this is complicated stuff here. We just need to place Christ's commandments before our own desires. If we truly walk in the spirit we will not fulfill the lust of the flesh.
