Author Thread: Nice Guys finsish Last
MatthiastheLight

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Nice Guys finsish Last
Posted : 8 Sep, 2009 10:15 AM

Many times I've followed my heart and been nice, polite, what have and every time I get passed up for a guy who is a complete and total jerk. I heard the saying: "Nice guys finish last"



What compels you to pass up "Nice"?

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SSpokenStallion888

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Nice Guys finsish Last
Posted : 8 Sep, 2009 12:31 PM

Dude, I understand where you are coming from and I can truly say its a "heart" issue. The truth of the matter is: anyone can be nice. It's not hard, especially if you are a manipulator. The problem is we compare ourselves to much to other people, saying that we're more: Polite, courteous, genuine, responsible than said group of people/person etc.. You can't compare yourself to other people, rather than to god's standard.



As guys, we all can be jerks to some degree to other people. it's just some guys have personalities where it's easily displayed more than others.



Women hate both extremes (passive/desperate, rude/cockyness). The truth of the matter is women want a guy that is worthy to carry their child. What do I mean by that: A woman wants a guy that is able to stand up on his own/have some sort of back bone, a guy that can provide for them financially and make them "Feel" security, Fun, emoutional support, committment etc..



Being nice will get you know where, unless you are established in knowing who you are and where you are going. To many nice guys try to bank on their sensitive nature, to get a woman's attention and they fail miserable. You have to be able to provide some evidence that you do have a life, outside of finding a wife. Their nothing more attractive to a woman, than a Guy than knows where he is going and accepts who is and is not set in his ways



If you have more emoutional baggage in your life, than she does; odds are she will not see you as Husband material. The husband is suppose to be her rock and if you can't provide her basic needs; she will plainly over look you. Women like confidence, whether it be a false confidence in ones abilities or in God, They just like a guy who is optimistic and willing to pull through the storm.



You seem to strike me as a insecure, depressed, hurt, passive person and if that is the case, the women have clued on that tooo.



My advice would be learn more about the person god created you to be and work to perfect that. Understand your strengths and weaknesses and focus on developing your relationship on christ. Once you have confidence in your relationship with christ, the more confident you'll be.

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Nice Guys finsish Last
Posted : 8 Sep, 2009 01:54 PM

very very very good response sstallion. a women wants a good guy not a nice guy. one is strong enough to be willing to appear weak the other is just weak.

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MatthiastheLight

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Nice Guys finsish Last
Posted : 8 Sep, 2009 02:36 PM

wow, now that isa crazy response i never expected. sstallion, i gotta say, you hit right on a few things i obviously had wrong...big time.



"You seem to strike me as a insecure, depressed, hurt, passive person and if that is the case, the women have clued on that tooo"



I am insecure in alot of places, but usually i've got a healthy dose of false bravado i carry around in case things make me feel that way. I have a depressive past, but am well treated for it nowadays, I think what pegs me dead on is i'm am a very passive person.



I know who/what I am and where I'm going in life, i think i even have an inkling of God's purpose for me.

Maybe i need a new crowd of people who haven't been clued in on the "past me" But this was definitely something had to ask. With so many people to respond it was definitely worth posting.



I will remember your words! God Bless

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Nice Guys finsish Last
Posted : 9 Sep, 2009 11:29 AM

You know they should change that saying to: Quiet Guys finish last!@! I like the nice, but will probably not notice the quiet one as quickly. A little cockiness is helpful, but the loud mouth jerk will end up alone. Do what comes natural, trying to change to find that one special woman, means that you can never be yourself. Even changing the venue that you go searching in can be helpful.



Good Luck and God Bless--shelly

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Nice Guys finsish Last
Posted : 10 Sep, 2009 08:38 PM

If this post is for the gals, here are some thoughts:

There is a difference between NICE and KIND. I've read that "nice" is used to manipulate, and i've seen people do just that (oh, and has been successfully used on me as well). True kindness is a valued trait.

As i have gotten older, i have noticed that i don't mind if a guy is cranky, not in a good mood, on occasion; slice of eccentric, a little erratic. That seems more real to me. And its too much pressure for me to be this perfect woman as described by many male members of this site.

So is this where Nice Gals finish First? -had to say it!

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Nice Guys finsish Last
Posted : 12 Sep, 2009 07:54 PM

dear folks, we all want to find someone who is goodhearted and kind and loving. but at the same time who wants a nice guy or girl who is so nice theyre sickening.. as in a yes dear all the time type of person. how real is someone that always says yes dear? christian men you cant be a leader or the head of your household if youre a yes man.. you can be nice and you can be good but you also can still be a man.. and i prefer a biblical woman but yet i still dont want a yes dear kind of gal.. she would be obedient but yet there will be sometimes she should say hey are you really sure about that.. hehe cause sometimes your man self can come up with some doosies hehe.. sides without a little friction here and there you tend to loose that spontaniety and spark and settle into boring and predictable.. you wanna know why slightly bad boys attract even the good christian women ? its because they are exciting and are not predictible.. they keep folks on the edge around them.. never knowin what is gonna happen next.. yet a bad boy is no good unless he lets the good LORD guide him and calm him down some.. and realize what is acceptable actions. he can still keep that little rough edge though..

ole cattle

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