Ok, this one is going to be a long story. I met a woman from Austria through a friend. He told her of his Christian friend, and she wanted to talk to me. We started talking alittle, then over the next few months, started talking every moment of the day that we could. We really enjoyed talking to each other, getting to know one another better. I was the first one she opened up to about issues of her past. So I knew she had some issues, but honestly, who doesnt?
Then she bought her plane ticket, we continued talking for the next few months, she had told me she would marry me if I asked her, I told her to slow down. She also told me 7 reasons why she would marry me.
Ok she flew here in December of last year, for 3 weeks during Christmas and new years. She arrived on a Friday night. She was exhausted from the long flight. We hugged for no less than an hour, just did not want to let go of one another, it was our first time being in one anothers arms. I got brave and asked her if it was to soon to kiss, I got my reward for asking, Im a shy guy, this was my first date in 8 years! Anyway, was going great, I made her breakfast the next morning, spent the day together just talking and hanging out around the house. That evening, read in Romans outloud cuddled up on the couch, she fell asleep in my arms, figured it was my monotone voice. Next day went to church, afterwards went out to eat and go to the local mall to show her around some. Again read outloud in Romans that evening, her falling asleep in my arms.
Next morning, when she came downstairs, she looked at me, started crying, saying she does not deserve me, that I should hate her because she can not love me. I walked over, put my arms around her, told her its ok, I cant make you love me, just show you that I do love you. I took her to the creation museum nearby that afternoon. I was still going to show her an amazing time here in America, if she loved me or not.
When we got home, I fixed her dinner, afterwards I told her that I love her, she came over and gave me a kiss. we started making out on the couch, only thing we refrained from was sex. Things seemed to be going wonderful, took her all over the city to different events and activies, wanted her to have an amazing time here. We would cuddle and read in the bible in the evenings, and afterwards make out, not going into what all was done, but still refrained from having sex, though we came close to many nights. She started telling me how much she loved me, but could not marry me yet. I treated her like a princess, she was the woman I knew I was going to marry and spend the rest of my life with.
We spent 3 amazing weeks together, when she flew home we continued talking daily, wasnt until her birthday that things started going down hill, and fast. She told me I needed to stop loving her, that I was going to eventually anyway. I stuck with her, knowing her past, she has alot of abandonment issues. during the summer, she stopped talking to me at all.
We started talking again in July, and picked up like nothing had happened, we forgave each other and went from there. We have now been talking for over a year, consider each other best friends. But she is now telling me that I need to meet other women, not to wait on her, because she can not love me with all of her heart as I deserve. I told her I love her, and she went off, saying I have to stop loving her, it is not to be, that its not me, but her. That she simply cant love me.
Im at a loss, shes an amazing woman, she has a troubled past, I pray for her daily to recieve God's healing.
We still talk some, not as often because of new work schedules.
I just do not know what to do, take a hint and try to find someone else? Or show her I am the only man besides Jesus that wont leave her, though she says I am wasting my time and there is no future between us, just a good friendship.
I believed her when she could look me in the eyes, and tell me how deeply she was in love with me. Did she fall out of love that easily?
sounds like there are some demons there. do you know what she was really thinking when she came over? my advice to you is let her go and extend your hand in friendship. how much of what she told you was true? if she is the one then god will provide a way, somerimes the hardest thing to do in this world is to let go and look to god. maybe she is not done being shifted by god. ask god, seek a way and knock the door will open if god wills it. but if he dose not then look to god and sing your heart out.
