I don't get it. I'm young, decent looking, have a good paying job, a car, a apartment. I can't seem to find a girls. I mean, I've had girls tell me if they saw me they would think I'm cute, but I don't get it. How do I get a girlfriend!? I mean, lets say I see a cute girl at the gym or something - what do I do? Juts randomly be like "So..hey..how you doing?". And..what if she has a boyfriend?
That would seem weird if you ask me. Like I'm desperate to know her. Then I meet girls at the bars and they are just trash.
So, what's the key? I mean, if I see a cute girl, what do I do? How do I approach her not knowing if she has a boyfriend/girlfriend, what she's like, etc. What do I say? When is the right moment TO say it?
That's why I think it's really hard to meet a girl outside a singles group, or online dating. Any suggestions?
P.S. I've had dates before, through work, girls I've met at bars, they've all been horrible!!
I completely agree with you, I'm 42 and I don't have a clue, either. I'm just not good at being flirty at all. (And at my age, it's REALLY scary, cause there's a good chance they ARE taken. Lol)
I've straight up asked girls in the mall or at the store if they had a boyfriend. Haven't got a yes, but it's not the end of the world. I think I've done it 3 or 4 times and they were all nice about it and some were even flattered. If nothing else it's a very liberating feeling you get. Like 'who says i can't walk up to a girl and ask if she has a bf? idk, them?' and then 'who says i can? me.' Food for thought anyway.
It is all about being nice and friendly... and showing confidence in your body language. Be a little close but hang loose. Be animated in your banter. Look intently in her eyes at times without staring. Smile from the heart. Show in your posture movements that you really want to be with her... lightly brush her arm. tap her hand barely when talking, touch her hair gently and exclaim how great it is. Compliment her a lot, and mean it- without over doing it.
Just talk to them like a friend... and show genuine interest. Kid around, tease in a good spirit. And keep showing interest. Really listen to them. and use her name a lot. Make her laugh and smile. Tell her stories that show your character and convictions. Brag up your dreams in a fun and interesting way.
If any of her friends are around, definitely compliment her 1 or 2 times in front of them.
And when the moment hits , (where it is obvious that she is having a good time) tell her that you really want to see her again and ask for her number. And when you depart, be sure to turn around a couple times and wait for her to. and look in her eyes from afar and smile big time... that will make your heart flutter.
Just remember, you are the man and it is all on you to show her a good time in the beginning of courtship. You got to woo them. So only do this with girls that really wow you... the ones you cannot live without! Those are the ones you will go out at 3 a.m. for because they have a craving for pickles and ice cream when pregnant with your child. Marry the girl you cannot live without...
And pray and thank God constantly. Deserve His best!
Hint: best all time place to meet a mate is week night church bible studies. Visit all the good churches in your area.
P.S. Never and I mean never worry if they have a boyfriend. If there is chemistry and sparks between you, any boyfriend is now history.
But if they have an engagement ring on, move on, don't go there... just asking for big time trouble.
And don't get cocky if things work out some, don't play girls, and do not play any games. Always be sincerely looking, and care about their feelings in all you do. And someday you will be blessed to marry the girl of your dreams. And your marriage will be golden for a very long time.
My grandmother told me the best place to find a boy is in church. So i know there are young ladies that attend church, (i have three adult, single daughters), but rarely see single young men... only young married men. So start there.
My young daughters also don't like to be hit on at the gym, they are there to work out, not to make out (but that isn't the theme of most gyms...and that's just as trashy as the bar scene).
The successful men are the "funny" ones. it's the just the way it is. My one daughter (24 and in med school) informed me that women always want to be told they are beautiful. I have to agree. but it has to be that nice beautiful... not the ones i get on this dating site when that could be all they mention in their message...that's shallow.
Get involved in activities that young ladies tend to do... volunteerism, etc., big brother (there are big sisters), and take some college classes (even if you don't need them). One town i lived in there was a Bike Club... bicycles and one of my young female employees belonged to that.
I have to agree with Golden about the gym...when I'm at the gym, I'm hot, sweaty, tired, and I don't want to have to flirt. I did actually have a guy hit on me once at the gym; he was kinda cute, but I wasn't interested...only took me two minutes to figure that out. The only good that came out of it was the fact that I can now use at least one of the machines correctly!
As some of the other folks have said, join groups where you'll meet girls. Find one you like, get to know her, then ask her out. I'm guessing you'll have a better success rate than you would if you asked a complete stranger out! I know I'd be more tempted to say yes to someone I knew than to a stranger.
