I am lost over the issue of divorce. There are so many divorcees in this website and there are so called singles who are divorced but put in their profile single. Technically, do you think this is right.
There are some who put in their profile that their divorce is based on the reason in the bible (unfaithful spouse). Thats why it is allowed.
Further, some divorced when they are non believers and after their divorce they were led to Christ. Does this mean they are acceptable and we wouldnt be committing a sin if we wed them?
Further, ought we not to make allowances for those trapped in abusive marriages where they feared for their lives and their lives of the kids? Not to mention sanity.
In the bible it is clearly spelt that God hates divorces, and that those who wed a divorcee is committing a sin.
Would appreciate all of your biblical advice and thots on this.
Divorce from the cause of adultery is the only one the bible talks about, but I think that a abusive spouse should be given one chance to change. If they don't, then divorce. What the bible is saying is that adultery is the only way that a ex-married person can REmarry without committing adultery themselves. Grace covers a lot though. Just don't let that be a license to commit adultery...because it doesn't work like that.
Mat 19:3 The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause?
Mat 5:31 "Furthermore it has been said, 'Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.'
Mat 5:32 But I say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery.
Mat 19:3 The Pharisees also came to Him, testing Him, and saying to Him, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason?"
4 And He answered and said to them, "Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning 'MADE THEM MALE AND FEMALE,'
5 and said, 'FOR THIS REASON A MAN SHALL LEAVE HIS FATHER AND MOTHER AND BE JOINED TO HIS WIFE, AND THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH' ?
6 So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate."
7 They said to Him, "Why then did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce, and to put her away?"
8 He said to them, "Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so.
9 And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery."
10 His disciples said to Him, "If such is the case of the man with his wife, it is better not to marry."
11 But He said to them, "All cannot accept this saying, but only those to whom it has been given: NKJV
This is what I have found concerning the issue of divorce and remarriage and what are the requirements according to God's word.
Mat 5:31 It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement:
G647 apostasion ap-os-tas'-ee-on
Neuter of a (presumed) adjective from a derivative of G868; properly something separative, that is, (specifically) divorce: - (writing of) divorcement.
Put Away = G630 apoluo� ap-ol-oo'-o
From G575 and G3089; to free fully, that is, (literally) relieve, release, dismiss (reflexively depart), or (figuratively) let die, pardon, or (specifically) divorce: - (let) depart, dismiss, divorce, forgive, let go, loose, put (send) away, release, set at liberty.
32 But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery. (KJV)
The first important thing to see here is that this is Jesus giving a direct teaching to His Apostles in what is called the "Sermon on the Mount". So this is NOT a teaching to Jews under the Law. This is for Christians, Jew or Greek, etc.
Jesus says that "IF" a man divorces EXCEPT for the cause of fornication/adultery, THEN he would be committing adultery IF he remarries and also causing his wife to commit adultery should she remarry. It does not say that a person who is divorced and marries another is committing adultery. It is saying the woman in this case that was divorced for a biblical reason would be committing adultery if she were to remarry. So this means that if you, being the innocent/faithful party to the divorce, decides to remarry then you have God's permission to remarry.
In Mark 10:4 the interesting thing that many overllook is that Jesus was addressing the Phasisees under THE LAW. This was not a teaching to Christians. But nevertheless, because Mark, Luke or John do not have the exception clause does NOT nullify Matthew.
Unfortunately many Christians do not realize that there are other exceptions where God permits remarriage after a divorce. Let's take a look.
1Corinthians 7:10 And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband:
11 But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.
The mistake made by some concerning the above scripture is that Paul is not talking about the exception clause, he is merely addressing divorce in general. So the exception clause though not mentioned does not mean we can exclude it because it does exist in Matthew 5.
12 But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away.
13 And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him.
14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.
15 But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.
16 For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife?
17 But as God hath distributed to every man, as the Lord hath called every one, so let him walk. And so ordain I in all churches.
Paul is making a statement and saying that it is himself speaking, NOT the Lord, in this case. That if an unbelieving spouse chooses to leave the believer, (abandon) then the believing spouse in no longer under bondage of the marriage covenant/vows. This means they are free to remarry. What I would like to say for those of you who don't seem to fall within the obvious allowances for remarriage. Remember that while you are separated and your spouse committs adultery during that time, then you have grounds for divorce and remarriage. More often than not, during separation, one spouse will commit adultery. Let us also keep in mind that God gives GRACE and MERCY to us all and that if you have remarried unbiblically, if you repent, God forgives you! This of course does NOT mean you have to divorce. You cannot unscramble eggs. Additionally, if your ex-spouse remarried then he/she freed you to remarry because you cannot reconcile back to him any more. No one should rush to any divorce but allow a period of separation so that God can work on both of you and see if reconciliation is possible. People can change through the power of God. Marriage is a religious institution. so if you get divorced by man's laws, it does not mean that you are divorced in the eyes of God.
We all need to give grace to each other in this and not be legalistic. Some denominations have gone to the extreme on this issue and have even shunned people unnecessarily who are divorced, forgetting themselves that they too are just as bad a sinner, if not worse, as the rest of us. None of us are in any position to cast the first stone.
"now make a covenant with our God to divorce ... Let it be done according to the Law of God." Ezra 10:3.
Most believe divorce is allowed in the case of fornication or abandonment of an unbelieving spouse.
Some include physical/emotional neglect in this category as well.
The above Ezra 10 example (Old Covenant) supports the idea Christians should only marry other Christians and not someone who would lead them away to worship idols.
While I agree with everyone else. I cannot help wonder about the guilty party in a divorce. the implication seems to be only the innocent party or those who have "biblical grounds" can get remarried.
The problem I see in relationships, is that more often than not both sides are to blame for loosing it.
Adultery is easily blamed as somebody gone wrong but fornication starts in the mind.
"If you look upon a woman to lust."
Now, is divorce biblical?
I guess a wife could divorce her husband for looking at another woman. She does not have to. But she may feel like it at the time.
And feelings here are very important. The more good feelings you have the better the marriage. Too many bad feelings and it suffers. But God is in the conversion business. God turns bad things into good things. without God your marriage does not have a prayer.
I have struggled with my divorce with God.Through much prayer and seeking advice from elders i praise God for His answers.
My divorce happened due to sexual immorality on the behalf of my wife but i don't blame her because i was not a very good husband.I was divorced before i was saved and even then i could see that both parties were to blame.
Now that i have been saved and forgiven i see things God's way because of my desire to seek Him
I know now that you have to be equally yoked and yes if God is not #1 for you both theres bound to be trouble.
I will put my trust in God when developing a relationship, we must have His approval.
I would rather live single if God so desired than follow my own desires.
Just wanted to share,thank you all for your insight.
I liked your profile, but I am not able to send you a message the regular way because you stated in your profile that you were only interested in someone up to 48 years old, and I am 49.
It would be nice to talk a little more if you want that also. Hope to hear from you.
