Author Thread: He hates the church
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He hates the church
Posted : 11 Mar, 2010 10:02 PM

How would you minister to a Christian that has been burned by the church so much that they hate it? They don't like the way Truth is twisted and feel like they will never get properly fed. They have been ignored and rejected in so many churches and they are tired of the backs stabbing hypocrites.



Thunder

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He hates the church
Posted : 12 Mar, 2010 05:19 PM

well, i think ALOT of people in the church (building) are backstabbing hypocrites. its harsh to believe, but its actually true to a certain degree. i think having the person understand that The Church is not a building made of stone but of believing hearts who seek God's will no matter their circumstances, many of us would be shocked to find that that person may also be a brother or sister... who is suffering just like Christ did. if they are wounded so bad that they cannot understand that then i would just be the best friend i could be to them no strings attached.



nyanda

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He hates the church
Posted : 13 Mar, 2010 06:51 PM

How would you minister to a Christian that has been burned by the church so much that they hate it? They don't like the way Truth is twisted and feel like they will never get properly fed. They have been ignored and rejected in so many churches and they are tired of the backs stabbing hypocrites.







I have experienced the same thoughts myself. I think that being a friend and helping them find trust in who you are as a Christian may be a good start. Not pushing your own beliefs on them, I would listen to them then if I felt they needed guideness in scriptures I would lead them to the scriptures as if studying the scriptures together as a friend. Not lecturing or seem as if using criticism. I think Prayers help before you begin ministering.

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He hates the church
Posted : 13 Mar, 2010 06:58 PM

I wanted to add one more thought....I think that Church forgotten to be a friend to the sheep that is comming to be fed and loved. (accepted). In my time of being in Church now vs when I was a youth. The Churchs was more involved in the sheep. If one family had stopped going to Church the pastor or any member would find out why and ask them back. No Church that I experienced so far now, does this at all. I think that Church has changed a great deal....

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Prov31_Lady

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He hates the church
Posted : 13 Mar, 2010 07:15 PM

Yeah, that's a tough situation. I have some friends who are in a similar boat, but a little different - they won't come to church because they don't like big crowds and they say that having Christian friends like me is enough community for them. I try to remind them that the purpose of Church on Sunday morning is not for us to "be fed" as so many people think (even those who attend regularly). It was never about us. It's about coming together in corporate worship of the King of kings and listening to him. At the same time, though, we are called to do certain things as the body of Christ - to feed the hungry, clothe the naked, help the widows, minister to people, etc. and unfortunately many churches only focus on getting people in the door, but they forget how to keep them there (which is only found in genuine Christian community where people love others and are there for them - when they truly share life together). I think it's also important to remind people that Christians are not perfect - we are still human and we make mistakes, but only by the grace of God are we able to restore the damage we've done. So in churches, you're going to find people - and people mess up.

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He hates the church
Posted : 14 Mar, 2010 09:13 AM

Nyanda and Prov 31, I think you have both made a good point. I find that I do not get fed in a Sunday morning service or at an adult Sunday class. I am almost always disappointed. The Sunday service has turned into a stage production that is used for evangelism. The Church is encouraging their congregation to bring the lost to them on Sunday morning and they will impress them with great music and a good story. They do this rather than equip the congregants for ministry themselves so that rather than bringing the lost to church they would be bringing the newly saved.



If we want the meat of the Word we have to go someplace else. Otherwise we sit in the service on Sunday morning getting drowned in milk. I want to go to church and be challenged. I want to hear things that make me think about my life as a Christian. Instead I hear the same stuff I have been hearing for years.



I think it's important that we minister to those who have been burned by the church in a way that gives them strength and encouragement. No church is perfect but I have never looked for a perfect church. I just want to be accepted for being the guy that will rub the cat the wrong way. Instead, I have usually been asked to leave. I find that when I am around the more intellectual and Truth seeking kind of Believers I am much more comfortable so I tend to stick to home groups rather than attend church regularly. The idea that we must attend church on Sundays is so ingrained in us but I don't believe it is necessary and some of us don't belong there. I find that I have opportunities to minister, fellowship and learn far more in small groups and so I feel fed and fulfilled there.



Thunder

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He hates the church
Posted : 14 Mar, 2010 03:46 PM

amen Thunder. i understand that some people need 'church', but some people don't, and that is the truth.

nyanda

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DontHitThatMark

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He hates the church
Posted : 15 Mar, 2010 12:22 PM

I'd say people should definitely be in a church where they are learning, and being included. There's no bible rule that says you have to be in a specific church....you just have to be following the truth that you know, wherever it leads you. As far as the hypocrites go...there's going to be some in every church. Have to remember we're supposed to look at Jesus and not other humans for perfection. Forget the hypocrites and look for a place that teaches as much truth as possible.





:peace::peace:

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He hates the church
Posted : 15 Mar, 2010 08:24 PM

The only way to get through that situation is to minister to the hurt. Lead them into healing from all the junk they've been through. They have to be able to see why people are the way they are and once they're able to see that...it will help their own reactions, seriously.

and walking in the spirit helps so much.

also, the more mature you become in the Lord, the less likely you are to be easily offended.



does that make sense?

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He hates the church
Posted : 23 Mar, 2010 06:28 PM

I've been there. I'm currently working my way out of that way of thinking. What got me to this point is that i have realised there is no such thing as a perfect church because all churches are run by sinners. So I can search and search and search for the rest of my life and I will never find a perfect place that teaches 100% truth and has only perfect people who will always treat me and one another perfectly. Knowing all this to be the case, God commands me to seek out Christian fellowship and to learn from Christians anyway. I can't ignore that.



Iron sharpens iron, and perhaps there is someone at my church right now that i haven't met because i am too busy trying to protect my heart from being hurt again that really needs my friendship, my support, my ministry, only what i can offer another person. Perhaps there's someone at my church right now that i desperately need and don't even realise it. I can only find out by making an effort to reach out to that community. as scary as it may be.



Keep searching for churches that recognize the innerrancy of Scripture and is committed to always learning and growing as a community and becoming conformed to the image of Christ. but don't let imperfection scare you away.

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He hates the church
Posted : 28 Mar, 2010 06:24 AM

How to minister to those burnt? I think there are two main things:



1. Focus on the person. The aim should not be to have them go to service, to read the bible or to take part in other church activities. If they want to: Great. But don't fall in the pattern to focus on some "career plan" you make up for them. In short: Let your light shine to be their friend. Unconditionally.



2. Refrain from bringing in Christ, the bible and what not, when not asked. Of course they will know you are Christian. But if you put up any church issues in a conversation, they will feel like you are not interested in them as persons, but only in them as missionary prey.





Keep in mind they have been prey, they have been burnt and they didn't like it. If they see you are in the situation to be in the church without feeling burnt, they might after a while ask how you do this, how you cope with things in church etc. That way you'll be a witness of Christ. Not by teaching scripture and dogmans unaskedly, bt by being there for them, to love them even if they worship Satan himself.



Wow, now this became longer than I wanted it to be, and I was about to write more. But I think I've pointed out what I wanted to.



God bless you

De Benny

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