Author Thread: For laughs.....
GraceMae

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For laughs.....
Posted : 6 May, 2010 08:28 PM

Ok so, Arch started a joke thread back in Feb that REALLY was good, 'cept I ran out of new jokes! BUT today I got something that had me rolling in laughter... so tag along and make smiles too! ~ GraceMae :glow:

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TWENTY-NINE LINES TO MAKE YOU SMILE



1. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't.

2. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.

3. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.

4. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

5. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.

6. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.

7. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

8. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

9. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are just missing.

10. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

11. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.

12.[Excluded... I didn't like it!]

13. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

14. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

15. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

16. Being 'over the hill' is much better than being under it!

17. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.

18. Procrastinate Now!

19. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?

20. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

21. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.

22. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!

23. They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.

24. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD.

25. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.

26. Ham and eggs...A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.

27. The trouble with life is there's no background music.

28. The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.

29. [ Left this one out, not appropriate!!]





I hope you at least snickered!! :yay: ~ GraceMae

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GraceMae

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For laughs.....
Posted : 6 May, 2010 08:36 PM

- Getting older is like visiting an all-you-can-eat buffet. What should be hot is cold, what should be firm is limp, and the buns are bigger than anything else on the menu!

- I'm starting to wonder how bad four years with no President would be.

- Men are always whining about how we're suffocating them. Personally, I think if you can hear them whining, you're not pressing hard enough on the pillow!

- Ever notice how the people who tell you to calm down... are the ones who got you mad in the first place!



~ GraceMae

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Posted : 6 May, 2010 09:14 PM

:laugh: number six made me LOL!

"You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me." lmao, i'm gonna use that as my headline :nahnah:

nyanda!:ROFL:

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Posted : 6 May, 2010 09:16 PM

thanks for the LOL GraceMae:glow:

nyanda:waving:

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GraceMae

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Posted : 8 May, 2010 09:31 PM

Nyanda... believe it or not..you help keep me on my toes.... :glow: ~ GraceMae :dancingp:

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GraceMae

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Posted : 21 Jun, 2010 09:16 PM

We have met the enemy, and he is us... Walt Kelly (1913-1973) Cartoonist

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