Author Thread: The Demerit System
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The Demerit System
Posted : 30 Jan, 2011 06:44 PM

The Female Demerit System

In the world of marriage and romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy. Do something she likes and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted.You don't get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that's the way the game is played.

Here is a guide to the point system:

SIMPLE DUTIES

You make the bed (+1)

You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillow (0)

You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1)

You go out to buy her what she wants (+5) in the rain (+8)

But return with Beer (-5)

You check out a suspicious noise at night (+1)

You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing (0)

You check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5)

You pummel it with iron rod (+10)

It's her pet (-20)

SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS

You stay by her side the entire party (0)

You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with an old school friend (-2)

Named Tina (-10)

Tina is a dancer (-20)

Tina has had �cosmetic surgery� (-80)

HER BIRTHDAY

You take her out to dinner (+2)

You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar (+3)

Okay, it's a sports bar (-2)

And it's all-you-can-eat night (-3)

It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colours of your favourite team (-10)

A NIGHT OUT

You take her to a movie (+1)

You take her to a movie she likes (+3)

You take her to a movie you hate (+6)

You take her to a movie you like (-2)

It's called 'Death Cop' (-3)

You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15)

YOUR PHYSIQUE

You develop a noticeable potbelly (-15)

You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it (+10)

You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to baggy jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts (-30)

You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too." (-8000)

THE BIG QUESTION

She asks, "Do I look fat?" (-5) (Yes, you lose points no matter what)

You hesitate in responding (-10)

You reply, "Where?" (-35)

Any other response (-20)

COMMUNICATION

When she wants to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression (0)

You listen, for over 30 minutes (+50)

You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+500)

She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep (-4000)

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The Demerit System
Posted : 31 Jan, 2011 03:51 AM

For all you why comers making me laugh so early this morning-

+ 500

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The Demerit System
Posted : 31 Jan, 2011 05:34 AM

Funny How The System Works! :ROFL:



chevy

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The Demerit System
Posted : 31 Jan, 2011 02:28 PM

No you are all wrong!!!!!!

Guy eats womens chocolates + 500

why she does not gain the weight.

guy says hand feed me + 5000

it is servanthood, Woman gets blessed by God

Guy goes fishing + 150

the woman has peace and quite for a few hours

Guy takes woman shopping and spends all the money on himself + 250

a guy never spends more than a woman, they have more money for something else.

guy takes all of the woman's girl friends out + 10,000

he has big ego, a real ladies man



Now you all need to speak the truth and it will set you free.

Dennis

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