I want to add something in this forum although technically the question wasn't asked to women, but to men.
Rambo, I think you are looking for the wrong kind of woman.
You want a woman who is not after money, but you seem to ask out women who are after your money. It seems you don't aim at the right type of person when you ask someone out. The kind of person that attracts you is materialistic.
So I suggest that you need to first of all ask yourself what is truly 'attractive' in a woman, learn to first discern what type of person the woman is, and what her values are, before even asking her out on a date.
Personally I and many other ladies I know are not interested in fancy dates, but actually feel much more comfortable to get to know someone well over a simple coffee. Could it be that what you find attractive in a woman is actually not her, but rather expensive clothes or jewelry or other fancy touch-ups, the exterior, which women who love money tend to love more than average women? Maybe try to think again about what you really find attractive in the woman, and try to look deeper, find the real beauty of a woman, rather than looking at her attire, and I think you will find that many women do not fit the stereotype that you have created in your mind. I think this will free your from your problem, and you will be able to find an attractive woman who is not after your money, but who loves the Lord.
I wrote this comment in the hopes that other guys reading this will not be discouraged by the idea that somehow to ask a girl out they need to be millionaires. Not at all. You need to love God and to walk before Him.
do u feel pressured to respond to msgs or winks from males?
Posted : 10 Feb, 2018 06:57 PM
I think we should not be so stiff and generalize to say one must answer, or does not need to. Let God lead, don't force things.
I usually answer, but not always.
If I don't answer... WHY? Okay here are some possible reasons:
Usually if I don't answer it is because the person just sent me a wink or a 'Hi, how are you', or some other generalized empty line, and given that I have introduced myself on my profile with enough information to start a conversation deeper than 'Hi', I feel the person is not putting an effort to write something of worth to me. I don't know, what would life be like spent with someone like that, that cannot find a worthy thing to say to me, and I will have to always initiate any deeper conversation? Or what, maybe they expect me to answer 'hi' again? Go back and forth with 'Hi!', 'Hi!' I don't know, it seems silly. If you want to talk with me, please spend 5 minutes to try to think of what you want to talk about, and start. It is your first impression, put some effort to say something. So unless I saw something in their profile that caught my attention, I might not answer that kind of message.
Then you get those whose interests have nothing in common with yours. What do I say? I honestly have nothing to say. Sometimes I answer, but honestly I feel that saying nothing is less hurtful, it gives less sense of rejection.
Please, before writing to someone read her or his profile, don't just look at their pictures. Only write if you honestly think you have some interests in common and your lives could be a match.
And if you decide to write, do tell them why you decided to do so, and say something worth answering to. You can say what you saw in their profile that made you decide to say 'hi'. Don't assume that I can read your mind and see what you saw in my profile that made you choose to write.
Then I get the divorced or separated people writing, when I clearly wrote that I am only looking for a never-married or widowed man. That makes me very uncomfortable. In other cases people give me a bad vibe and I choose not to answer.
Then there are cases in which I consider answering someone, but I just can't think of how to do so.
Sometimes I am just undecided.
Sometimes I am just so busy and have too many emails and messages and texts etc, that I simply forget to answer all my daily mail. I might see the note, and then forget to answer. Please don't be offended! I have forgotten to answer even good friends' emails, it wasn't for any evil reason. Don't blow things out of proportion and label that person 'rude', just because they don't answer you. Be humble.
But as I said, I usually answer.
Please don't be offended when someone does not answer, let God move them to write to you if they are the right person. Don't force people into YOUR 'politeness' rules.
