"Why can't they tell the difference between a woman filled with the Holy Spirit and a woman who pretends or acts like one?"
Putting aside the issue of men and women, there is an underlying problem with lack of discernment. One of the largest Pentecostal churches in Australia was founded by a paedophile. Now days it is basically a cult. Christians get sucked in because they don't bother to look for the truth. Many don't actually know the Holy Spirit themselves, they know only the false teachings of their leaders. It is because they are mentally and spiritually lazy. They don't read the Bible or seek God for themselves, the just turn up on Sundays go have their ears tickled.
When it comes to romance, the issue can become further clouded. Often we are attracted to other attributes, and so we want to believe that the other person is genuine.
Sadly too, it is often because the man himself is not listening to the Holy Spirit. He himself may be faking it, so of course he is blind.
Apparently some people love to feel superior, including Morally Superior.
For the uncomprehending, one of the things they love to obsess over is adultery, because they think it is easy to demonstrate their superiority.
ie: "Look at me, I don't commit adultery. You remarried so you're an adulterer, so that makes me Morally Superior."
The first problem is, that even that reasoning was correct, such a person could already be at risk of committing a bunch of sins, such as Pride, Arrogance, and Judging others.
Furthermore, the reasoning is flawed. Jesus taught that if a man so much as looks at a woman with desire, then he has committed adultery in his heart.
So again, as Jesus taught, "let he who is without sin throw the first stone."
It's sad when when people make snap-judgements about others and their motives, based on one sentence in their profile, or a "tick-a-box" answer.
(I read one lady's profile in which she was ranting against mature men who ticked the "undecided box" for children, accusing them all of being cradle-snatchers out to marry a young trophy-wife.)
But way I figure it, if somebody is going to judge me, and reject me outright, based on something like that, then she is probably not the type I would want a relationship with.
Now yes, you will find people who are extremely focussed on age. I'm not (I am currently corresponding with a lady several years my senior) provide we both sit well within the "Mature Adult" category.
I am always very respectful when contacting a lady, and if it's a younger lady who is put off by the age-difference, then I apologise and move along. If they're not interested, then I've lost nothing. And even if they think "oh creepy old dude" well that's sad, and I apologise, but again have lost nothing. (Oh, and I do have a limit :-))
To the OP, I can sympathise, this OlD is far from perfect, and it can seem that wherever we're looking there is a lack of success "because of X". All I can suggest is that we be patient.
So at my age I am mostly looking at others who are divorced, separated, etc.
One thing that puzzles me is to tread profiles seemingly devoted to beatifying their ex.
It usually starts about their children and how they have a dad, and he's really a really great dad. But they then go about what a great guy he is, and how they're really good friends, and how they had a great marriage.
And the obvious question is answered with "we just drifted apart."
So you had a great marriage to a great guy, who is a great father to your children.
You've asked a very broad question, without giving any specifics. Is this a general question or specifically personal? Who are the men, and how are they running away?
From personal experience, I can say that being a Christian of my age I mostly get contacted by ladies of a particular ilk. They have been "saving themselves for their chosen one" for over 40 years and are now seeking a partner to help them "spread the gospel to the nations using the spiritual power of the Timbrel." A less charitable person might describe them as nutters.
It's actually kind of silly that we are so conditioned by society to focus so heavily on age.
Don't get me wrong, there are practical considerations.
And in a perfect world, you'd find your perfect partner at exactly the same age, to mitigate those issues.
But who here has found the "perfect" partner?
Age is just one factor, and for me, it's not the most important.
I also think it is very judgemental to say its sad that a man only wants to marry a younger woman. I've seen women with a "Must Have/ Must Not" list as long as your arm, but apparently that's ok as long as they don't include age?
Can I also make the point that such lists, and restrictions (including age) are actually an improvement on dishonesty.
Can I also just say that I personally set my limits +/- a decent margin, on the basis that you never know. My first wife was significantly older than me, and I don't discount that possibility.
But guess who I get the most contacts and most replies from?
And certainly the most politeness, even if it is just to say no thanks. Yep, ladies at the lower edge of my age bracket.
Part of it may be simply practicality, but my educated guess is that the older we become, generally the less flexible, the more anchored our lives become, and the more we become concerned about what friends and family think.
