Christian Forums | CDFF Discussion Forum - CDFF | Online Community of Single Christians

Author	Thread
Iliachen View Profile	For Ladies 40yrs and above Posted : 1 Dec, 2019 09:21 PM Forgive me for not being 40, but I've had experience in dating with semi-larger age gaps -- I've learned age =/= maturity. I've had some cra ppy experiences that have taught me this: Make sure you're the solution, not an option. By this I mean, as women, we want to feel safe, protected, and treasured. The problem is that infatuation offers a false sense of love. That's why I call the first 1-3 months the honeymoon phase. You've got those adorable butterflies in your stomach. Endorphins and Dopamine run amuck. It clouds your judgement. But once you're finally used to that person, you begin evaluating why you're even in the relationship. Some guys pretend they want true love, want a future, and are ready to settle down. But then they don't even put the effort into committing. In fact, some will hide their online harem from their partner. This is why, in some other posts, I'll tell both men and women to make sure they're putting God first. God always balances our emotions with our logic. God brings that wisdom to help bring about understanding. This is mentioned in Proverbs so much. I've had to balance myself out many times, because I've ran into a few guys who were such crafty sociopaths, they've even tricked me. But through serious prayer and asking God to guide me, I dodged those bullets.
Iliachen View Profile	How would you want to be approached Posted : 1 Dec, 2019 08:50 PM Off topic: I keep reading your name as BlessedBUnny, hahaha. Also, seems like if I hit Enter twice, it gives a whole extra space. :\
Iliachen View Profile	How would you want to be approached Posted : 1 Dec, 2019 08:49 PM Well, some may be okay with that, but if you've seen the show Catfish, you'd understand. Just yesterday, I had some random guy on Instagram message me with "Hey sexy" and pretty much followed the exact same script every Nigerian money scammer follows. I swear, there's a textbook on it. They almost always ask you to buy a gift card or use bitcoin to send them cash for some false sob story. So it helps if you offer enough about yourself to prove your real. But don't offer info like, "I'm just looking for the love of my life, I hate games, I'm an easy going man who fears God." I've busted several catfish/scammers who made the exact same claims. So, being yourself, showing you're real -- that's most important.
Iliachen View Profile	School a man Posted : 1 Dec, 2019 08:45 PM That not having an actual photo of yourself makes us think you're a catfish, aka have something to hide. To tag on with that: we don't condemn your looks, we assess the image/vibe you give off that comes through in said photos. Off topic: judging can be good or bad. Condemnation is what people mistake judgment to be.
Iliachen View Profile	Snobbing/ghosting Posted : 1 Dec, 2019 08:42 PM As a woman who's always had a decent number of guy friends, and has been told I can relate to them on a certain level, I'll say this: sometimes ghosting really is just easier. I think it comes from a place of knowing that person will feel crushed if you DO say, "Sorry, I'm not interested." Or they'll act entitled as butts, then turn nasty and say, "Well I wasn't really that interested in you anyway, you're not all that." One of the reasons I struggle to find female friends is because I think they're bat-tish crazy as well. I don't understand where some of their expectations come from, except for "woke" culture. They'll say one thing, mean another. They want guys to open doors for them, yet will snap at them about gender roles. Alternatively, there's only a few times I've ghosted guys. I've had some guys actually say, "Lol, wouldn't it be funny if we were soulmates?" I've had single dads hit me up from what I could tell was a place of pure desperation and not wanting to feel alone. Bottom line: I think it's about sensing the heaviness of baggage the person has. It's not hard to read between the lines, if you know what to look for. It takes understanding just enough psychology, with a dash of street smarts. On another Christian dating app I've been on, the worst are the ones who match with everyone, just to advertise their Insta. I tested it out maybe 3 times, all the same results.

Iliachen View Profile	For all Girls aged 40 or more about initiating contact Posted : 1 Dec, 2019 07:29 PM Wing: I understand the anxiety. As a fellow introvert, I'll tell you: read the profile, type up a quick but thoughtful message in Notepad, re-read it so you don't feel you have regrets, then send it. Always approach it as meeting a new friend, but hint at more. Maybe with a small joke. I'm just throwing that idea out there really. I approach people how I want to be approached. I never do winks. I don't wink in real life, unless I'm up to something...
Iliachen View Profile	Favorites? Posted : 1 Dec, 2019 07:20 PM Given I have a clear age preference, what's the point of adding me as a favorite? For guys old enough to have sired me, it's just plain creepy. I picture heavy mouth breathing with, "Awww yeeesss, fresh young flesh..." ...Okay, I made that much creepier than I intended, lol. But for all others, why add me as a favorite without trying to talk to me first? If I have a filter set, it's a hard No on the age difference. I'm considering my future and how a future husband would age. If I decide to have kids or adopt, I don't want the guy mistaken as Grandpa, heh... Now, viewing? I've got a Perdomo in my pic, so I get it. Respect, lol.
Iliachen View Profile	Are there any girls who likes art? Posted : 30 Nov, 2019 10:19 PM To be honest, this site's kind of... meh. Even I've kind of given up, but I figured I'd poke around the forums before I get tired of it. I'm an artist. I do a lot of crafts, sewing, digital art. I had a long hiatus for various reasons. Most of my sewing has been related to medieval reenactment, but my current area has a large activity hole. I have a few 1940s clothing patterns that are reprints. And I may have made my own amulet of Talos. But don't tell anyone.
Iliachen View Profile	For all Girls aged 40 or more about initiating contact Posted : 30 Nov, 2019 10:10 PM Haha, I appreciate you reading. I don't know about being a hottie. I always say that Snapseed raises my self esteem. I'm not big on photos of myself, but I wanted to prove to myself a woman can take a cool looking cigar photo without looking like a thot.
Iliachen View Profile	How would you want to be approached Posted : 30 Nov, 2019 10:05 PM By being yourself and not schmoozing us to get attention. Saying "Hi there beautiful" is a red flag. We're all internet strangers. You have to earn the right to call us by a pet name. On one Christian dating app alone, I've gone through over 150 fake profiles. The ones I chose to match with, to help prove they were fake, all said the same thing. "Wow you'e so beautiful!" Dude, it's barely been 5 minutes, calm down. But because of that, try to approach us the way you'd approach anyone in person. One-liners are ooollddd. I've heard it all. How do you talk to your good female friends? Try that kind of greeting, but more polite.