Okay, this is gonna be weird but I'm going to have to answer ..... neither. :rolleyes:
I'm not much for super fancy and expensive restaurants; especially when initially dating someone. What I enjoy more is very simple and casual places to eat- where the man doesn't have to spend a fortune just to buy me dinner. My focus is on enjoying his company and getting to know him. The more I'm enjoying him ... the greater the chance is that I'll forget what I'm eating anyway! Since it's the 2nd or 3rd date, I might still be a bit nervous with someone- and all that dressing up and fanciness would ramp up my nervousness! :excited: Casual and simple is better for me.
The second choice would be romantic- but I wouldn't feel as though the relationship would be at the "I'll-come-over-to-his-place-and-he-can-cook-me-dinner" level by the 2nd or 3rd date.
I definitely think the idea would be an awesome and romantic idea for a guy to do for someone he's dating- but later in the relationship ... not on the 2nd or 3rd date. :glow:
I can see where the intent of my question was a bit unclear! In keeping it brief, I was trying for "minimal wordiness" but I only managed to accomplish "maximum vagueness". :goofball:
So therefore: Do guys want female friends?- the revised edition. :winksmile:
Among my circle of friends, I've wished for there to be a few male friends that I could do things with that my female friends aren't interested in doing. I love to play pool, ping pong (and you won't believe this one) go down to the local field and throw a football around! (right now would be a good time to wedge-in the fact I'm in no way, shape, or form a tomboy. Just grew up really close to my brother and did "guy" stuff. Okay, moving on now) but I didn't mean to imply that that's what I'm looking for on this site. My "looking for" was originally "a long term relationship", and I've since been corresponding with a lot of guys. Recently after a guy viewed my profile again, I realized that he and I had been emailing and I couldn't remember: what was his name? what did he tell me about his life? who wrote back last? I realized that I'm writing to too many men, and I changed my "looking for" to lessen my opportunities.
Also, it saddens me to read that some have responded to say that they've had female friends who've used them repeatedly. If those women were Christians ... then that's especially sad.
Well then, if those 'independent' women use male friends as a front to keep a pseudo-'independence' then WOW- ... I'm even more independent than I thought!!! :winksmile:
I really don't think I can resist a response to what you said!!!
"Can you fix the toliet, the roof, the cooler, the electrical, the car, trim the tree? And afterwards can I borrow You and your truck to move a freezer, refrigerator, washer, dryer, stove, couch, bedroom set?"
So, if those women who would ask for those things were just ..... Independent? ..... and didn't need you to help with anything then- *cough* :winksmile:
I have a house and I have those things taken care of and wouldn't use a male friend for household repairs. But then if I admit to taking care of those things, then I'm saying I'm that big bad word "independent" again, aren't I? :winksmile:
cobbler,
Thanks for that point of view. I hadn't thought of that. :)
I've had this conversation with my brother: why don't guys seem to want female friends? His response was that guys don't seek out female friends. He couldn't really give me an answer as to why not.
I think he's right because I've seen personal ads on other sites where men will basically say 'not looking for friends' or 'don't respond if you only want a pen pal.'
But, I'm wondering ... WHY? If neither person is seeing anyone and you could do social things with a female that you enjoy the company of but have no interest in- why wouldn't you?
Also, I guess my question would be directed more toward older guys ... as younger guys in their teens and 20's still seem to have friends that are women, but single men in their 40-50's don't.
Thanks dkj255 for your response to my post. I don't mind the "problem solving" approach at all. :winksmile:
I appreciate what you're saying about men not being good at general chit-chat, but I think most guys can attempt a question or 2 about a woman- based on a profile. But this man didn't ask me any questions; he only spoke of himself. Not to diminish the role of discernment, but I think women have a distinct intuitive nature; we know when someone is even slightly interested in getting to know us ... and when someone is only interested in using us as a mirror for their own ego.
But I've read many of the posts you've added to the forums. You express yourself extremely well ... you don't need any advice on "things to talk to a woman about." :)
As I'm getting to know a guy, I try to gauge whether or not he appears to be self- absorbed. I received an email from a guy that was longer than my arm!:rolleyes: He may have just been trying for
"chattiness", but it was all about him.
Also, if I'm at dinner with a guy it's very important to me to see how he treats the wait staff. I couldn't date someone who was rude, obnoxious or condescending to a waitress.
