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WHISPERRED110AC View Profile	How can I explain to him and get results?.. Posted : 5 Jun, 2009 09:26 PM I don't think you're going to able to "explain" anything to this guy and get results other than more condemnation and anger. I see the issue of the money as not him volunteering, he's seeking a contract! A THIS for THAT. The "this" would represent the money and the "That" as you being completely submissive. When you help someone you don't put conditions on that help. That would be like me saying I'll give you my feedback on this question if you promise you'll never ask another question. We all make choices in life and they all have consequences. Some good, bad and indifferent. When he suggests to you that you're "finacially irresponsible" He's not saying you're irresponsible he's saying "I'm responsible and I'll show YOU how TO BE responsible!" The man is looking for control, not a friend or a mate. Just control. I'm basing this response assuming that all you've said is factual. Although I have no reason to doubt you. If I were you I would ask him this one question in this manner. " When was the last time you were irresponsible?" The way he answers the question will be a dead giveaway as to his personality and his own view about the world/relationships. He has made the choice to be unyielding in his feelings and perceptions of life and other people. The consequence is that he's probably going to isolate himself and blame others for that isolation which in turn becomes anger. Please forgive me if I am a little judgmental of this fellow. I don't see a red flag. I see a lot of red flags and I don't like to see people get hurt. If I was the woman he was talking to I would either tell him to take a hike or run like heck in the opposite direction. Hope this was helpful. God Bless. David
WHISPERRED110AC View Profile	What would a guy prefer? Posted : 2 Mar, 2009 09:39 AM Since that first meeting is almost always awkward, I'd prefer that there always be a second meeting where we'd both feel a little less apprehensive, and a little less awkward. You really can't determine a lot on a single meeting when you're both are feeling a little uncomfortable. The exception would be if during that first meeting I doscovered you were totally incompatable. For example, if I find out that you are really an ex-axe murderer. Wouldn't need a second meeting then! David
WHISPERRED110AC View Profile	This Is Really Bothering Me.... Posted : 16 Feb, 2009 05:24 PM Lynda, I'm not sure you can teach a person to be sensitive. The best you might be able to do is to make anyone aware (guys/gals) to be more aware of the situation. For example; if I see red eyes I might think you may have a cold or you may be upset about somethig and had been crying. The best I as a man can do is to be aware of the potential possiiblities of what those red eyes may indicate. Some of us guys are a little blind in that area and certainly could use some work. Being sensitive to the feelings of somebody else becomes a choice, just like forgivness. Women do tend to be more sensitive because that is one of the superpowers that they have. Some of us guys tend to only see the superficial e.g we see the red eyes and don't consider or think about it being more than that. If a guy seems to be insensitive to your needs or just disrespectful then you have 2 options; (1) politlely let him know about it and try to help him to understand. (2) if he still fails to comprehend that you or anybody requires respect and empathy, (if for no other reason as being another real and human person) then my guess is that you're not going to change his behavior to any significant degree and you should consider removing yourself from the situation. You can't force anybody to change unless that person actually wants to try and change. The best you can do is to give them the options to make a change. Don't know if this will be of any help but that's the way I see it. Hope it does help. David
WHISPERRED110AC View Profile	Compliments and Suspicion Posted : 25 Jan, 2009 08:30 PM Thanks Lynda, you did help and I hope you will not experience that type of pain again. David

WHISPERRED110AC View Profile	Compliments and Suspicion Posted : 23 Jan, 2009 07:58 PM Why do some women view a compliment given to them from a guy as suspicious and deceptive; especially within this site or others like it? David
WHISPERRED110AC View Profile	This Is Not A Judgemental Topic, I'm Seeking Honesty... Please Help? Posted : 18 Jan, 2009 09:14 PM The vast majority of us are loking for something or someone. Just because we're in this type of venue or on this site is no different than if you or I we're meeting in a coffee shop. This site is just another tool. I don't think any of us would chastise a carpenter because he/she were using a hand saw as opposed to a circular saw. I think you have, at least in part, answered your own question. You know what and who you are as well as what you want. If I'm going to pass judgement on you simply because your here than my words are not worth listening to. I become just another alien who you should just ignore. Because in the long run it really doesn't matter what I Think. It only matters what you BELIEVE! The fact that you have asked this particular question tells me you're sensitive and compassionate because you don't want to hurt anybodys feelings and more importantly you do not want to be hurt. Bottom line: on both sides of the gender track there are "less than smart people" making critical judements about others virtually based on nothing more than a stereotypic image of what is or is not appropriate. Know and trust yourself; the rest will take care of itself. Hope this was helpful. David
WHISPERRED110AC View Profile	CENTER STAGE....YOU'RE ON !!! (POETRY) (SONGS) Posted : 18 Dec, 2008 09:37 PM Everybody is a poet. For what is poetry/prose, except the attempt to express feeling and emotions that someone else can 'feel' and understand as if they were behind your eyes. It is not about mechanics of words or wisdom. It's all about feelings. Some of the best 'poetry' I've ever seen was: A Salutation given to a total stranger and the exhiliration of empty sullen eyes, low on faith, suddenly turning into a smile.
WHISPERRED110AC View Profile	More sensitive Respnse? Posted : 8 Dec, 2008 08:30 PM Thanks for the input
WHISPERRED110AC View Profile	More sensitive Respnse? Posted : 7 Dec, 2008 06:28 PM Ladies, If you wanted to make contact with and I did not, How and in what way would you want to be told that I did not want to further any contact. To me the "I don't think we would make a good match" is somewhat cold and insensitive. I don't want to hurt anyones feeling yet at the same time is the need to be able elicit a concern 'not to commuicate' Would love some feedback on this. David

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