Well, if Romeo and Juliet had never married, they would have experienced life. Life in those days often consisted of arranged marriages among other things. So, it depends upon your beliefs and perspectives if this would be a good thing or a bad thing.
Pros of single life:
No one to worry about but myself.
Cand do what I need to when I need to.
I set my own expectations.
The toilet seat is always down.
I know how much is in the bank at all times.
If I decide to move, it takes about a week to pull up stakes and make it happen (providing a job has been found first).
Is it right for a guy...mind you "A Christian Born-Again Guy To Tell You Off" Even On Here...
Posted : 26 Jan, 2009 06:11 PM
While not a guy, I would like to respond.
In this forum, everyone has the right to express his or her own opinion. Just as you have the right to say what you believe, so does a man have the right to say what he believes. There is not one set of rules for us and another set for them in this instance.
If a question is asked and a person responds, should the person asking the original question not listen thoughtfully to the response? Another person took the time to read the question and consider, then finally felt the question merited an answer. That is often a sign of respect. The questioner does not have to agree with the answer given, but should listen before passing judgement.
I have heard/read in several places that women do not want, or are not willing to accept, a father with children. To this my reply is...you need to look other places then. Personally, I do not mind if a man has children. I do find it makes a difference. Children must have their needs met first. This is understandable. However, exwives can be a bit of an issue. Also, the baggage that comes with a single father can be an issue. So while children in and of themselves are blessings, they can receive the blame for issues totally unrelated to them. Also, as a teacher, I found that men at times simply were looking for a mother for their children. While that is not onerous, I wish to be chosen because someone wants to spend their life with me, not because he sees me as a free nanny. If children are a part of the package, fine. But if the only reason I am wanted is to care for the children, no thank you. They deserve better, as do I.
What absolutely great, common sense advice. I never thought of that but it makes perfect sense.
Also, as much as it saddens me to say...there are women on here who prey on others as well. So gentlemen, it wouldn't hurt to follow Leon's advice either.
While not fullproof, it does provide more information about the person. And that's why we are here isn't it? To get to know other Christians?
Why do women on here not usually write the guy first?
Posted : 2 Jan, 2009 10:12 PM
I was raised that ladies do not initiate contact with gentlemen. In my youth, that meant we did not call them on the telephone. Now, that translates to not emailing, texting, or iming. Obviously, friends and family are exempt from that rule, but for me to initiate contact on here would be the height of impropriety.
Biblically, the male is the head of the house. It therefore becomes rather an oxymoron for the female to become the aggressor and pursue him. Adam recognizes the rib, not the other way around. It is the male�s responsibility to recognize and woo the lady. Not easy for the guy, I admit, but then neither is being the head of the house. If a man cannot handle the responsibility of the one, how can a woman expect him to handle the increased responsibility of the other?
Blessings in your search for answers. I wish you well.
Your blind date sounds as memorable as mine. After friends began insisting they knew the perfect guy for me and wanted to set me up, beginning in August, I finally gave in on Halloween. He took me to the movies and then to a party. The movie was a horror film, and was simply dreadful. But, on the whole, the best part of the evening. I knew nothing of the party that was to follow until the truck was bumping down a dirt road into the middle of nowhere. We ended up in a lovely little run down trailer packed with what seemed to be half the students from the college. Music screamed and drinks flowed freely. My delightful date proceeded to overindulge and was soon reduced to crawling. Other things were getting out of hand as well. He felt that the movie and party entitled him and some friends to certain priviledges with me. When I decided enough was enough, the walk back to town seemed the better of options available. Hiking back, fuming the entire way, I determined that I had just experienced my first and last blind date. Thankfully, God watched over me and other than a bruised pride and some blisters, I escaped unscathed.
Thinking of sex outside of marriage from the point of view of a parent: would you want your teenage daughter engaging in sexual relations? As a parent, you can imagine many reasons she should not engage in this dangerous behavior. Once she has married, will you have a different view?
As our Father, the Lord wishes only the best for us. He knows the harm sexually transmitted diseases cause. He also knows the mental anguish that can result, not to mention the children growing up with no fathers due to lack of commitment between the surprised parents.
Loving parents make rules to protect their children. Don�t touch the fire. Wear your coat when the weather turns cold. Look both ways before crossing the street. Do not have sex outside of marriage. All these rules are designed to care for the children. Yet children try to sneak around the rules. Trying to rationalize premarital sex�..playing with fire, are these not both manifestations of children rebelling? Parents (including our Heavenly Father) try to protect their children (including us) as the children push the limits.
Others have stated the biblical verses better than I ever could. Now think of the matter from a common sense point of view. As a father, what choice do you wish for your daughter? Would our heavenly Father want any less for his children?
To give a bit of perspective, I have worked my entire adult life to build a career in education and am currently about halfway through a doctorate.
That being said, one of the largest problems in our society is women working outside of the home. Until there are children, I am not going to address the issue. That is between the husband and wife. Once there are children, the situation changes drastically.
I hear on a regular basis from parents who say they both have to work to make ends meet. My suggestion, go on a financial diet. It is more important in most cases for the mother to be home raising the children. Working in Central America and Mexico, I saw men and women sacrifice greatly to raise their children. In the US, I see men and women giving their children lots of expensive toys and wracking up a huge debt, but spending very little time with them.
On a regular basis, I teach students social skills, hygiene, morals, and basic manners. In public school, I cannot teach religion, but I can model it. These precious children have no one teaching them at home nor caring for them. They do have an iPod, a cell phone, an Xbox, TV, internet, stereo, and LOTS of free time for mischief. An old adage says idle hands are the devil's workshop. Adages often stay around because they are true.
Many parents are so tired after working all day, they simply want to be left alone for some me time (I hear this regularly). When it is a one parent home, I feel sympathy. When there are two parents, I feel disgust. Sell the big house, quit buying the expensive stuff, and invest your time in raising your children. If you do not wish to spend time with them or take care of them, do not have them.
In Belize, I knew families living subsitance level lives, praying for their next meal, yet blissfully happy. The divorce rate was so much lower. Each person had a role and responsibiliities. Both were valued. I saw men working 18 hour days to support their families, and doing so with love and devotion. Women labored in homes with no running water or electricity, yet kept a welcoming and loving home.
Children do not raise themselves. They need nurturing and guidance. They need their parents.
In this instance, I must agree with Leon, the husband and wife have different roles. Both are equally important. The divorce rate has skyrocketed in our country because we have unrealistic expectations and we forget to seek the Lord in major decisions.
Well, I have said my piece and am ready for the hate mail.
Whether you agree or disagree, may God bless your richly,
My initial reaction was the same as Rose. So many people have typos, misspellings, grammatical errors, and mistakes that show poor education, or simply laziness. Any of the above can be a bother and detractor. Sir, I have to confess, my red ink pen did not get even a small twitch.
Your layout was friendly, inviting, organized, grammatically correct, and easy to read. You also look quite nice.
Maybe the profile is not the problem? That being said, what are you writing in your introductory letter? Could the problem be there?
A difficulty may also be with the girls you choose to write. One definition of insanity is doing things the same way expecting different results. Why not try writing to a girl who is a bit different than those you have chosen previously? I don�t mean going off in a totally wild direction. Obviously, you want someone close to your own age with Christian beliefs similar to your own. For example, contacting someone who looks different than the previous ones might garner different results.
In the end though, seek God. Maybe He is running interference to ensure you don�t make a mistake.
