Author Thread: Long distance relationships
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Long distance relationships
Posted : 17 Aug, 2011 07:55 PM

Does anyone know of successful long distance relationships?

How they can be made to work?



When I initially came to this site I was only looking for a possible partnership with someone in my area.



Maybe I shouldn't limit myself.



The woman God has for me isn't necessarily in my immediate area.

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bcpianogal

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Long distance relationships
Posted : 17 Aug, 2011 08:04 PM

I won't do long distance as a general rule, but a lot of people have no problem with it.

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Long distance relationships
Posted : 18 Aug, 2011 03:47 AM

Me neither.

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Posted : 18 Aug, 2011 04:44 AM

I know of long distance relationships that work.

You have to be both dedicated to the relationship.

Distance makes it more difficult to spend more time

together. But, I would not limit yourself to just your

area. Sometimes Our mate lives a far distance away.

Relationships grow thou only when two are willing to

make it grow and One person would have to

relocate to marry. Of course, there are several men on here

I see on Profile they say they are will to Move.



This is in the Older group, not sure about Younger

people.

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Posted : 18 Aug, 2011 05:46 AM

I think it really depends on the individual. If you are the type that needs to spend a lot of time together doing things instead of just having a lot of conversations, then it probably won�t work. But, if not being physically close together is ok with you, the internet really helps in getting to know someone. Not only do you have the ability to send quick messages through email, but you also have the IM, and services such as Skype for �phone calls�, or better yet, video chat. One lady who was on here stated that her boyfriend and her used to eat their meals together by doing a video chat.



I think that it really just depends on you.

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Posted : 18 Aug, 2011 08:21 AM

I have never did Web Cams are videos online.

My long distance friendships were mostly phone conversations. Until we met inperson.

You can learn a lot about someone, if you talk about everything from A-Z.

If men come off too visual, I usually do not meet them

In person.

I would love to some lots of time inperson with a man

of my interest, but you can not do that Long distance.

My options are Open though, I do not limit myself to

in area like many do.

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Posted : 18 Aug, 2011 01:23 PM

I forgot about video chat. Many marines in Iraq used it when coming back from the line companies. There were long lines though!



I personally prefer talking on the phone over instant messaging.

Im'ing seems constrictive, emotions are hard to read. There's no body language or voice inflection, etc.

I'm new to this online dating thing, so it may get better.



As far as the older men, being more open to working on making a long distance relationship work, it makes sense. The younger guys may want instant gratification rather than working on making a long distance relationship work.



Thanks for the help folks! My best friend told me not to put God in a box! He knows what he's talking about: He's 77 & has been a pastor for 50 years!

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Posted : 18 Aug, 2011 03:24 PM

A pastor is a good friend to have and seek counsel from. I would agree with the pastor. If you are really looking for someone you can get to know and grow with spiritually, I would say the larger the area you look in, the more doors you have for God to possibly open. Long distance relationships (LDR) are difficult. There needs to be good conversation between each other and great conversation with God. You need to trust God to bless the relationship and make the distance problem work out if you go for a LDR. I would say the hardest part of a LDR is getting to know each other well enough (without really getting to court/date much) that one of you has the faith to move to the other so you can actually start going out together and getting a feel for eachother's mannerisms and personality in different environments that are much less controlled then video chat/phone chat. Good Luck!

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Posted : 18 Aug, 2011 04:23 PM

"SemperFidelis",

I noticed you mentioned instant messaging doesn't have any way of knowing how a person is saying something. How very true, and as a matter of fact, I'm completely against text messaging and all sorts of similar things when it comes to serious issues between myself and a young lady when I'm in a relationship with her. That's one reason why I don't exactly like the idea of online dating...because you can't tell how the other person is fully reacting to what's being said. Even when two people talk over the phone, it's still the same way. Yes, talking on the phone is better, but there's nothing better than talking to the person with them present. And they say you should never talk to anyone face to face (or across the table) because it's a form of body language that results in major problems...because when people face each other, it's a form of body language that is what people do when they're yelling and fighting. We are far better off to sit "beside" our special someone to talk about serious matters.

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teach_ib

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Posted : 18 Aug, 2011 05:22 PM

Semper Fi, thanks for your service!



Long distance relationships can work...thet're not easy but what relationship is easy?



You have to consider how and when to meet face to face. Airfare can become expensive and you have to weigh how mich time off you can take to meet. If it takes a day to travel to the destination and a day to get back, that will take even more effort.



Usually a long distance relationship can provide better opportunities to talk through things because that is what you have to do.



Military families go through long distance relationships on a regular basis. I know many that adapt to it during the season that they have to.



I wouldn't recommend either pack up and move closer until the relationship is really firm...a marriage proposal...and much discussion on which location makes the most sense. It may even be a third location in the middle.



I would actually think the younger you are, the easier it would be to consider relocating. Later in life, ther may be children/grandchildren to consider. Or, jobs...being invested in a company may be a determining factor.

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Rabbit32

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Posted : 18 Aug, 2011 08:34 PM

Hey devil Dog...they're not very good...nothing beats proximity...it has often helped change the mind of more than one woman about her estimation of a man.

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