Author	Thread: what do you think?
Admin	what do you think? Posted : 7 May, 2010 05:25 AM I have a friend who,before she was a christian,had three kids with a man,he went to prison,she says she will always love him,but shes not in love with him,she is now a christian,should someone else date her.Would this be fair to the new man,what about when he gets out? Post Reply
Brandy774 View Profile History	what do you think? Posted : 7 May, 2010 05:49 AM She had 3 children with the man..of course she will always love him. However it appears that she has also accepted that they don't work...she can't be with this man. She should be congratulated on her emotional maturity. One of the hardest things to do is to walk away from someone that you love but that you know should you stay would emotionally kill you. I had a guy friend once tell me "I need to be in your life. I don't care if it is as your lover, your friend,your acquantiance, or your enemy. But I need to know that you are safe and that you are happy. Even if you are happy with someone else and not me. As long as I know this then it is ok I just need to be in your life in some way" Ironically I did walk away from that guy friend..he chose drugs over me. Oh and yes I will always love him. But I'm not in love with him..haven't been in years. Love is never black or white...often times it's many shades of grey. Post Reply
View Profile History	what do you think? Posted : 7 May, 2010 06:01 AM Thanks for your response,should the new love interest be upset if she keeps in contact with him.Would he have the right to be jealous?Or to expect her to break off contact with him. Post Reply
SOS4EMAILFRIEND View Profile History	what do you think? Posted : 7 May, 2010 06:15 AM I suppose she is not married to this man, but she has children with him. Why does this woman connect her dating with her man coming out of prison one day...?? To me, you are either free to date or you are not. There really is no inbetween... Before anything it should first be crystal clear where and how everybody fits in the life of this woman. However, if she is simply wondering whether, as a christian, she is allowed to have a good time with other men while her own man, who she claims not to love anymore, is in prison... steve, is she a woman or a child? Post Reply
Brandy774 View Profile History	what do you think? Posted : 7 May, 2010 06:20 AM Thanks for your response,should the new love interest be upset if she keeps in contact with him.Would he have the right to be jealous?Or to expect her to break off contact with him. That depends on one main factor. If the man, though in prison, is still part of the children's lives. She will have to stay in contact with him. Other wise it would hurt the kids. Even if he isn't, one day the kids will want to know him. If the woman breaks off contact..she will be the bad guy in the ugly situation. The only exception on this is abuse. The love interest needs to be confident enough to know that the woman has chosen to be with him. Not to wait for the man to get out of prison. Once he does that, then there shld be no problem Post Reply
View Profile History	what do you think? Posted : 7 May, 2010 08:49 AM "To me, you are either free to date or you are not. There really is no inbetween... " i am in 100% agreement with SOS that sums my thoughts perfectly. the whole situation is making me seasick, it sounds really dizzy(yes things can sound dizzy:nahnah:). clear lines people, know yourself. nyanda! Post Reply
Brandy774 View Profile History	what do you think? Posted : 7 May, 2010 08:52 AM The woman is free to date. She just has 3 children by an ex. Had she been divorced would you think it was ok for her to keep her exhusband from his children? Post Reply
View Profile History	what do you think? Posted : 7 May, 2010 09:41 AM the children are mostly grown(16,17,18)but they are kind of troubled,She is 43,hes been in prison for ten years,5 to go,he seems to call on a regular basis. Post Reply
Brandy774 View Profile History	what do you think? Posted : 7 May, 2010 09:44 AM Sounds like the children need mental health counseling. If the relationship between the father and the woman was abusive she may too. Sounds like he is trying to keep a connection to her that either 1. she dont wanna break or 2. she doesnt know how to break. If she just doesnt want to totally break the connection then the love interest wont ever be anything more than a back up plan. Sorry to say it like that. Post Reply
View Profile History	what do you think? Posted : 7 May, 2010 09:47 AM no,I was kind of thinking the same thing myself,thanks Brandy Post Reply
Brandy774 View Profile History	what do you think? Posted : 7 May, 2010 09:51 AM np Post Reply

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