Some women want to have careers, some guys don't care about careers. When those two personalities mesh, then you get a creature that is called the stay-at-home dad. A person can have more ambitions and dreams met when they don't have a job holding them back, so not sure how you equate job and those together.
Since we are speaking of a stay at home husband, I was speaking of dreams, ambition, and goals as they relate to a career or job.
I understand that there are separate dreams and aspirations as they relate to other desires. For instance, I dream of visiting Australia one day and learning to play the violin.
I also understand that there are men who stay at home for whatever reasons that they do.
The question was would 'I like' a man who stayed at home managing home and children and my answer is still no.
My dream would be to have a full time stay at home father/husband and one that works full time.. There are alot of corporate jobs that can now be done by telecommuniting and only having to go in the ofc a few times a week.
I guess I want the whole thing. It would be wonderful to have a man that could be a full time career man and full time family man. Someone that is bonded more to his family than to his job.
If I couldnt have both let me have a full time family man with a part time job. Budget can be made and finances juggled but a child's firsts once done are gone forever. I would want him to see as many of those as possible.
Originally though too babygirl, you had stated that you would like a man that has goals, dreams, ambitions.
What if his life's ambitions, and biggest goals, and his noblest dreams are being a family man? If that's the case, their dreams and ambitions mean nothing to you, since you only consider dreams relating to jobs and careers.
As LoonyK said, a lot can be done with dreams and goals if the person-man or woman, isn't being held back or boxed in by their jobs or careers. And a lot of those dreams, can and will be related in no way, shape, or form, to the person's career.
I don't plan on being a stay-at-home dad, but if it happens because my wife makes a lot more money than me, and we want a parent at home, so be it. I'll be a stay at home dad. I'd mow the yard, do the laundry, cooking, and cleaning. I'd volunteer in the community and church much more, and I'd pursue my crafts for the spare times I do. Lord knows I love being a jouster for Ren. Festivals all over the country.
I think the problem many face is the connotation that a stay-at-home, and especially a man at that- just sits around the house all day. Most of them don't and probably do much, much more than the other does. Heck, I was used to hang out with my best friend's mom when she was still in high school and I was a sophomore in college when I had nothing else to do, and that woman went twice the speed of light to get stuff done!
I originally stated I want a man with goals, etc..etc.. I did not think I had to say goals..etc as it relates to career because that is what the thread is talking about.
I do not want you all to think I'm putting down stay at home dads just because I'm stating my preference. To say I would not care about a man's dreams and goals would be untrue.
If I met a man who did not want to work, but wanted to stay at home with the children or wanted to pursue his dreams and goals outside of career INSTEAD of working, we would not be a good match. I believe when a man chooses to have a family, he takes on the task of making sure they are cared for. AS FOR ME, if a man wants to pursues other dreams like, traveling etc..he should remain single. I believe dreams and goals of a man can still be pursued when he has a family as long as he has prioritized his responsibilities.
I believe a man's responsibility is to provide for his family. I can bring income in, but he SHOULD bring income in.
I believe the Word backs up my stand, but even if it didn't, I have a right to what I prefer. I do not want a living situation where I am the sole bread winner while my husband stays home. Exception would be if he became debilitated in some way, then I got his back! In sickness and in health.
I do not judge other people's situations at all. If it's alright with you, your wife and your spiritual conviction, what do I have to say about another man's household? :dancingp:
Honestly I would really struggle with a husband who stayed home while I went off to work. I've always felt strongly about being a mother and have never felt called to any sort of career besides writing, which doesn't support me right now.
I would not object to having to work. For example if my husband worked days, and watched the kids while I worked more hours I could do that..but even then I would see it as temporary. I do not think it's wise in a marriage to not see each other.
Some men are amazing nurturer's while their wives are more driven. I can be respectful of that, as long as it's both what they want and they are gifted that way. Single dad's can do an excellent job and dad's are such an important part of a child's life; they should be home, interacting with their children on a day to day basis. Even if it's for a sit down dinner, and spending time before bed.
Personally, I respect men who are driven, who know what they want to do, and are focused on it. I want to be the women who comes a long side, supports, encourages, and takes care of everything else so he doesn't have to break that focus.
Exist, can the church say, Amen! Without knowing anyone had posted yet, I logged on this morning to add that I would have a hard time properly giving reverence and respect to a man who has to come to me for money. That's real talk. The Word says if a man don't work, he don't eat.
If absolutely necessary, I suppose I could deal with it. But no, for the most part I do NOT want a stay-at-home husband. I personally don't feel called to have a career that would support a whole family very well, so I'd rather let my husband work and support the family, while I take care of the home and kids and supplement the income as needed by working part-time from home. My career is particularly suited for that situation!
Now, before kids come (or if we can't have children), I'd be perfectly happy to work full-time, as long as he is working full-time too. I think it might be a wise idea to live on his income, and save 90% (10% would be tithe) of my income for either a down payment on a house, or just for future expenses, or for "fun" stuff or charities if we have extra. That way when/if kids do come along, it won't require a lifestyle change for me to be a stay-at-home mom. And being a stay-at-home mom IS a full-time job...the pay just isn't measured in dollars.
