Author	Thread: What's the deal?
TheLastLivingSoul View Profile History	What's the deal? Posted : 3 Jun, 2010 05:59 PM So...I haven't been on this site very long but in my general searches, I have noticed that a lot of young women (21-23) are looking for "a marriage partner." Really? Why? I mean...I'm not one to talk about age but don't you want to live your life a little more and experience stuff for yourself before you settle down? I mean, how many of you single ladies who are in between those ages and are looking for a marriage partner have been overseas? Or taken a cruise to get away from it all? I don't know...just seems a little weird to me. I mean if it's what the Lord has planned then great but it just strikes me as a little odd. Also, how many people have had success with using this or any other Christian Dating sites? I'm looking for friends or a potential relationship if it should work out but just wondering in general. Call me old fashion but meeting with a person face to face seems quicker and a lot more personable. I don't know...I'm not a doctor. Anyway, any feedback is cool Post Reply
View Profile History	What's the deal? Posted : 3 Jun, 2010 07:02 PM That was always my pet peeve for people in that age group, even when I was in that age group! I agree that for some people, waiting until they are a little older and more established is the wise thing to do. Now 27, I know who I am and what I want better than I did at 22. Post Reply
View Profile History	What's the deal? Posted : 3 Jun, 2010 07:13 PM LLS: You said, "live your life a little more and experience stuff for yourself before you settle down? " Well...... why does getting married have to make that stop? Why can't a husband and wife experience things and life llife together? You can also experience and live without your spouse there every minute. I've been on missions trips where both the husband and wife came, so I don't think that is limited to singles either. I don't see that marriage before 30 (or even 25) means to "settle down". Or maybe I am just not understanding your definition of settle down. Post Reply
GraceMae View Profile History	What's the deal? Posted : 3 Jun, 2010 08:39 PM Allright Godslamb! I'm with you!! :applause: ~ GraceMae Post Reply
View Profile History	What's the deal? Posted : 3 Jun, 2010 09:03 PM Hey OP, I don't see why that is a shock to see. Some people's goal in life is to be married and have a family. You make marriage sound like its a nail in the coffin to life itself. Post Reply
bcpianogal View Profile History	What's the deal? Posted : 3 Jun, 2010 09:06 PM I agree with GodsLamb. Post Reply
View Profile History	What's the deal? Posted : 3 Jun, 2010 09:31 PM I honestly see both sides to the coin here. At 21-25, I thought I knew exactly what I wanted. I thought I wanted to be married and have children. I had never traveled out of the country or done really any of the things I wanted to do. I was willing to put those things on hold or aside to do them with a potential husband because I was lonely...not because I was looking for Christ to be the focus of my life and having a husband that would put God first. Fortunately the right man was not brought into my life in those times. I decided that I wanted to do missionary work at around 26, planned a whole year and went on my first trip at 28 to South Africa. I had already travelled to Europe at this point for vacations, but missionary work is where my heart is at. I have grown so much in the last 3 to 4 years and now truly understand what it means to love the Lord God with all my heart and put Him first. I think the basic point to the original question is how are you so certain you know who you really are at such a young age when you have not really experienced much of life on your own? With that being asked, I don't think he meant for it to sound like a nail in the coffin, but more or less the lack of life experiences. I can only speak for myself here, but I would not be the person today that I am, if I had not gone through everything I have gone through. I am certainly a much stronger and more mature Christian than I was at 21-25. I am not sure if I had been married at those times if I was mature enough to handle my own issues. God has had to deal with pride, self-righteousness, forgiveness, anger...basically all the opposites of 1st Corinthians 13 kind of love, LOL. I have also been praying for the last 10 years that God would bring MY husband to me when we were both ready. Until then this would be my time to grow closer to my Father. To know Him intimately. I just happen to think that perhaps it not always an age factor but more a maturity factor. Some people really honestly know and understand God at a younger age, but I would say the majority of us take some time, like a fine wine.:buddies: It's not to say that young people getting married won't work, but I think you may have less problems if you are both totally on the same page and it is a completely Christ centered relationship. Post Reply
TheLastLivingSoul View Profile History	What's the deal? Posted : 4 Jun, 2010 12:36 AM Godslamb: That's the point I'm driving at. You should do a lot more on your own BEFORE hand. I think it builds character up and makes people more dependent on God and not so much each other (even though that was marriage is. Loving, Trusting and relying on the other person that they will be there for you no matter what). Personally speaking, I have seen a lot of "Married Christian Couples" who dive head on into marriage right out of HS/College or in their early 20s and it ends on a sour note which in turn can ruin it for legit Christian Men like myself and I am sure several other brothas out there who feel the same. Like I said, it may be God's will but at such a young age how can anyone be sure? By "settle down" I mean take things a bit more serious. I mean, when you get hitched, it's not just the perfect movie story everyone expects. There's different things you have to do for the housing, taxes, W-9s etc. etc. It's a responsibility to God and the other person. So...if you're 21 (just coming of the legal drinking age) and getting into a lifetime committed relationship, it seems like that may be a tool the enemy will use against you. I am all for a husband and wife experiencing life together because that brings them closer to God and each other. I just feel that people should be so gun-ho to tie the knot. I mean, to me it seems like you should work and building a solid friendship, date for a bit and THEN cross that bridge when you get to it. Maybe I'm just (and pardon me for using the term since it's both ironic and sill) "old school" in that you should take your time with this stuff. Maybe that's just a little rant but...I'm just curious as to WHY young ladies are SO prepared for it? LoonyK- I'm not sure what "OP" is so I'm not sure what you are starting off with but here's a fact. In sociology, people between the ages of 18-25 who get married right after college or DURING college are 85-90% likely to end up UNDER the poverty line. In a sense, rushing into marriage CAN be a "nail in the coffin" as you put it. Not only that but the questions of each other's walk with God comes into play. "Do not be unequally yoked..." Yes, I know it says with UN-believers but, even with someone who is very new in their walking getting into a relationship with someone who is very mature in theirs may or may not be a problem. I have nothing against marriage at all. If everyone could have the movie type love story, I'm sure people would be very happy. I just find it weird that the age bracket for getting married gets younger and younger as the years roll by. Post Reply
View Profile History	What's the deal? Posted : 4 Jun, 2010 12:40 AM Some excellent points! As it's been pointed out, the key is not really how old you are but rather how is your Walk with God? If God is your Focal Point...if He is First and Foremost in your Life -- then there is Nothing you cannot do or accomplish. While your life experiences "seasons" your character (who you are). It can be done alone or with the One you Love. It all depends on how Mature you are and nothing...absolutely NOTHING, Matures you better than THe Holy Spirit! I have gone through so many incredible things in my Life and I have Grown and have been changed by them. I know now that it was God molding and shaping me...preparing me for the next part of my journey. I was not ready for marriage. I was too proud and self-centered, but that does not mean that a 23 year old person is not ready for marriage. It all depends on their Spiritual Maturity. I cannot think of a better way to experience this world...all of it's Beauty and Adventures -- then with the One who holds My Heart by my side. So if you are lucky enough to find that at a young age and are truly ready...then you will be a blessing to all those that come into contact with you. And once again I find that I cannot remember what the subject was! So LOVE....LovE...loVE! Steve Post Reply
View Profile History	What's the deal? Posted : 4 Jun, 2010 10:50 AM OP = Original Poster, as in you! :laugh: Actually, statistics show people are getting married older in life, not vice versa as you want to portray it. Post Reply
TheLastLivingSoul View Profile History	What's the deal? Posted : 4 Jun, 2010 03:17 PM You'll have to forgive me for asking about "OP" I'm not too "hip" with the jargon the in crowd uses these days. I never made a claim that more people got married older than younger or reverse.I'm sure the age range for marriage is as wide as it is broad. I just wanted to know why young women were interested in marrying so young when their is a lot to live on their own. Why do YOU think that is Loonyk? Post Reply

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