Author Thread: Remove age limits? Anyone?
VKWV1

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Remove age limits? Anyone?
Posted : 28 Apr, 2011 01:26 AM

I would like to suggest everyone remove their age limits and post their limits in their profile.



I know this is a dating site, but if you are a true Christian, shouldn't you want to talk to other Christians, no matter their age or gender?



Rom 12:5 So we, being many, are one body in Christ, and every one members one of another.



Sometimes I see something in someone's profile that makes me rejoice and I want to tell them. I want to rejoice with them. I want to call them brother or sister. I am drawn to Christ and I can see Him in many of you and want to be closer to Him through you.



And it seems awfully cold to see that "You may not message this member," come up when I try.



Read my post about love under biblical discussions.



Thing is, I'm not sure many of us know that is happening because I didn't when I first set up my profile. I now have it set to "any age."



That's all :)

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Remove age limits? Anyone?
Posted : 28 Apr, 2011 01:46 AM

It really depends on why they are here on this site. Most people who have a profile on this site are not active in the forums, but are only looking to communicate with a certain group of people. It has nothing to do with being a �true� Christian or not.

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bcpianogal

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Remove age limits? Anyone?
Posted : 28 Apr, 2011 09:51 AM

Cobbler's right. When I first joined CDFF, I had no intentions of being so actives on the forums. I had age limits set (pretty strict ones), and I also had smokers, drinkers, and users outside the USA blocked. I was only interested in one thing: finding a guy. I wasn't trying to be cold or un-Christian. I just didn't see any point in talking to a bunch of people that I didn't know and didn't want to date.

But now that I'm here primarily for the forums, I don't block anyone...unless they start spamming me or asking me for money...or won't accept "No" as an answer to their marriage proposal!

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VKWV1

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Remove age limits? Anyone?
Posted : 28 Apr, 2011 10:19 AM

I understand that. I'm only suggesting that everyone would be better served by communicating openly with everyone. The bible says we are to be separate, peculiar. This site shouldn't look and feel like every other dating site out there. Let's be a family because we are a family.



There are benefits to that. I've gotten some good wisdom from some older ladies on here. When I first started, I had those ladies blocked because of the age restrictions I put on my message settings.



Also, I've introduced friends to each other on here. Two of them are talking right now and it looks like they may have a connection.



There is an advantage to having friends instead of looking at this purely as a hookup site.



And I want to make it clear that I didn't say that you weren't a true Christian if you set age limits. Just that I think we as Christians need to be more friendly and open with our fellow Christians.



The sermon excerpt I posted (Make Love Your Aim) on the biblical discussion board really touched my heart and made me realize some things about myself. Let's carry on in love and let things work outward from there.



Joh 15:12 This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you.



I knew there was a chance this idea might not go over too well, but I am honestly only trying to make this site better using the truths I have read in the scripture.

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VKWV1

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Remove age limits? Anyone?
Posted : 28 Apr, 2011 10:31 AM

bcpianogal: Will you marry me?





(ha! Couldn't resist)



I was the same way. Has your experience on this site been better since you "let go?"



I wonder how many people give up before realizing they can get more out of this site than just a shopping spree. I almost did. Glad I didn't. There are some good people here.

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Posted : 28 Apr, 2011 12:04 PM

I agree with you, but look at this from another viewpoint: the age limits help protect someone from unwanted interest from an age group they do not want contact with. Works for men and women. Just as the settings "block smokers" or "block drinkers".

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bcpianogal

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Remove age limits? Anyone?
Posted : 28 Apr, 2011 12:34 PM

VKWV -- No!!! :laugh: If you only knew the number of wacky marriage proposals I've gotten! I've wondered what would happen if I actually accepted one of them...



My experience on here has been a lot better since I "let go", as you put it. I've not had any better luck in finding a guy, of course, but that's no longer my primary reason for being here. The forums let me interact with a lot of different people, and I'm really enjoying that!

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VKWV1

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Remove age limits? Anyone?
Posted : 29 Apr, 2011 02:05 AM

godslamb: So you would rather the smokers and drinkers be banned from the possibility of you having a positive influence on them? You'd rather them go be with the other smokers and drinkers who approved of what you consider to be (apparently) unacceptable behavior? What if you said something - or lived something - that changed their heart and made them willing to quit? Would you ignore your mother, father, brother because they smoked or had a drink?



Love. This is my mission. Call me a Pollyanna, but I believe love will conquer. I believe love has the greatest power. We should make that our aim.



1Co 13:13 And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity.



I think it's about time for us as Christians to fight for love, for the just and the unjust alike.



I posted in another thread about the Good Samaritan:



Luk 10:29 But he, willing to justify himself, said unto Jesus, And who is my neighbour?

Luk 10:30 And Jesus answering said, A certain man went down from Jerusalem to Jericho, and fell among thieves, which stripped him of his raiment, and wounded him, and departed, leaving him half dead.

Luk 10:31 And by chance there came down a certain priest that way: and when he saw him, he passed by on the other side.

Luk 10:32 And likewise a Levite, when he was at the place, came and looked on him, and passed by on the other side.

Luk 10:33 But a certain Samaritan, as he journeyed, came where he was: and when he saw him, he had compassion on him,

Luk 10:34 And went to him, and bound up his wounds, pouring in oil and wine, and set him on his own beast, and brought him to an inn, and took care of him.

Luk 10:35 And on the morrow when he departed, he took out two pence, and gave them to the host, and said unto him, Take care of him; and whatsoever thou spendest more, when I come again, I will repay thee.

Luk 10:36 Which now of these three, thinkest thou, was neighbour unto him that fell among the thieves?





There is no mention what this certain man's beliefs were, and that's not an accident. There was no mention by Christ of whether he was more deserving or less deserving than anyone else. He may have been totally wicked. Love was the message, regardless of who the recipient was. I'll stand by that. Will everyone else?



Doug

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VKWV1

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Remove age limits? Anyone?
Posted : 29 Apr, 2011 02:17 AM

bcpianogal: I'm crushed! My heart is broken.



But I do know when "no" means "no" :)



(sigh)



Doug

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VKWV1

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Remove age limits? Anyone?
Posted : 29 Apr, 2011 02:19 AM

godslamb: I forgot to mention that this has happened to me with men as well as women. It's good to have brothers in Christ. Bothers me when I'm blocked from welcoming them as brothers.

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i_live_in_canada

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Remove age limits? Anyone?
Posted : 29 Apr, 2011 08:19 PM

I hear your frustration. There have been times that I wanted to comment on some ones profile but was not with in there settings.



One thing you might not know is how different it can be for a woman. When I was first on here I wanted to be nice and reply to every one. My in box was swamped! Every time I was on line I barely even had time to reply at all with all the chat. As soon as they would see I was on they all wanted to talk. I don't even type fast enough to talk to more then one at a time. Eventually I had to go into my settings and hide my on line status. Even though my profile clearly stated I was not looking for some one they still tried. Too many pm's and winks for me to keep up with. Eventually I decided to take down my picture. It definitely has helped.







So I can understand why some people may have to put limits on there settings. If they are actually looking for some one they can't do what I had to do. I'm not sure what else they could actually do.

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