Author	Thread: Need A Woman's Prespective
Admin	Need A Woman's Prespective Posted : 15 May, 2017 09:07 PM Hello Ladies!!!!! I recently got my heartbroken and I need a woman's perspective. I met a woman on here about a month ago from Nashville, TN. I never thought she would write me back but when she did I was surprised and happy. We started talking and hit it off so well. The more we talked the more we discovered how much we had in common. She told me right away that she could tell that she was falling for me. She also told me that she really wanted to meet me and that she wished she could just come over to my apartment and hang out. I told her that I wished the same. She also told me that she could not literally wait to meet me. The next day we talked about meeting in person. I told her that I wasn't really comfortable traveling by myself because I've never done it before. I told her I would ask a good friend of mine to go with me but if he said no I told her that I was willing to take the plunge and come on my own. A few days later I contacted a travel agency here about booking a flight and hotel. The woman I spoke with told me if I went from June 3rd - June 10th I could get a flight for around $200. I told the woman from Nashville this and all of a sudden I felt like her demeanor/attitude changed. She told me that she was glad I was coming but that she couldn't hang out with me for the entirety of my trip and that she could only hang out with me at night. She also said that she was renovating her home so some renters could move in. I told her that that was okay and that we would figure something out. A few days later she left to travel to Nepal because she's a missionary/disaster relief responder and she works for Hope Force International and she was going to help the people over there. I didn't get to talk to her much and she didn't really talk to me while there. I started to feel like she was losing interest so I mentioned to her that she said in the beginning that she could tell that she was falling for me and I asked her if she still felt this way. I also reminded her that she said that she could not literally wait to meet me and I asked her if she still felt this way. I asked her these questions more than once because I wanted to be sure that she still liked me. She wrote me back and said: Now is not the time or place to have this conversation. The next morning I got a response from her that read: The answer to both questions is no. I feel like you're so insecure and that's a big turn off for me. You're a good guy. Just not for me. This all happened within a week. Ladies I need your help. Why would a woman do this? Why would asking a couple of questions more than once cause a woman to cut all ties with me? What could I have done differently? What can I do better next time? What could I do to get this person back? Post Reply
View Profile History	Need A Woman's Prespective Posted : 20 May, 2017 01:03 AM I can see how you might see it that way but it does not look like she insulted you. Everyone needs to grow a bit now and then, it's not something that ever actually stops and you reach the vague "matured" achievement. And yes you DID overreact and DO have some points where you obviously need to grow. It's not an insult to say what you see unless the the other party (in this case you) makes it one. I myself have had the same kind of thin skinned rage issues in the past so I know what I am talking about, it is something you (ironically) need to grow through it doesn't just dissapear. Or to put it a different way. If she was so wrong and you do not need to grow a bit.... why did you get so upset? Think about it. If someone says something that is not true and you know it's not true then why get upset? Post Reply
View Profile History	Need A Woman's Prespective Posted : 20 May, 2017 07:33 AM Well, that's your opinion. I don't think I overreacted and I don't think I need to grow. I got upset because she said I need to do some growing in the discretion department. As I've already stated....if she has nothing nice to say then don't say anything at all. I also got upset because she said booking airfare after one week seriously? like it's a stupid idea. Obviously she's never been in love. I see why she's alone and widowed. Afterall, if I were her husband I would die to if I had to live with her. I don't think it was a stupid idea. This woman asked me to come see her in Nashville. She said she wanted to meet me and I wanted to meet her too. I don't see anything wrong with that. Post Reply
View Profile History	Need A Woman's Prespective Posted : 20 May, 2017 08:27 AM Firstly, you are getting way too personal and insulting. Secondly, she was not upset about the early airfare she just said it was perhaps too soon. Being in love means you do stupid things yes but it does not make those things less stupid. Post Reply
View Profile History	Need A Woman's Prespective Posted : 20 May, 2017 08:38 AM Too personal and insulting? As the saying goes...if you can't handle the heat then get out of the kitchen. I say what's on my mind and I don't care how it may come across. I'm very blunt and I tell it like it is. If you don't like what I have to say then that's your problem. She didn't say too soon. She said booking airfare after 1 week seriously? I was never in love with her. I liked her and she wanted to meet me and I wanted to meet her. Again...I don't see anything wrong with that. She is the one who wanted me to fly to Nashville to see her so she is the one who was moving too fast. She is the one who wanted things too soon. Post Reply
View Profile History	Need A Woman's Prespective Posted : 20 May, 2017 05:09 PM You wrote, "The next day we talked about meeting in person. I told her that I wasn't really comfortable traveling by myself because I've never done it before." I checked your profile. You're 32. And you have never traveled alone before? It's okay, but you are not supposed to tell her that! And saying that you need a companion friend to go with you reveals you are insecure. Also, next time before you go visit someone, please be friends for at least 3 months before you visit. You need time to get to know each other online first. Sit down with Skype and talk to each other face to face a few times. I am really sorry you wasted your money on this trip, and it didn't turn out well. But I don't think there is anything you can do to get her back. It's like catching a fish and releasing it. Once you drop it back into the sea, chances are you are not going to catch the same fish with the same hook again. Look for something else. Each friendship is a chance to learn something new, and you should spend some time to summarize what you have learned from this experience. That way you can avoid the same mistakes next time. If she said you are insecure, then work on that. Learn how not to be insecure. It's something about how you act and how you talk. So, do some research on that... Good luck next time! Post Reply
View Profile History	Need A Woman's Prespective Posted : 20 May, 2017 06:05 PM I was being honest with her. I'm not going to lie. I told her that I've never traveled alone before and I said I would ask one of my good friends to go with me but if he said no I would take the plunge and come on my own. That doesn't reveal I'm insecure. It just reveals that I'm not totally comfortable traveling by myself. How would you feel if you've never traveled by yourself and some woman you met asked you to come see her? Would you go by yourself? You're assuming that I went to see her. I never went to see her. I was making plans to go see her but the plans fell through. She is the one who wanted me to come see her right away so don't put that on me. We can't sit down and Skype and talk to each other face to face. She already stopped talking to me. As I said...I didn't go on the trip so I never wasted any money. There is something I can do. I can tell her how I feel. I know what I learned from this experience. It's to never tell a woman everything about me. It's to never share personal things about my life with a woman. It's to never believe anything a woman says. All women are the same. They act the same and they speak the same. The only thing I was insecure about was my physical disability and I told her about it and she was okay with it so I didn't feel insecure anymore. Post Reply
View Profile History	Need A Woman's Prespective Posted : 20 May, 2017 06:10 PM She said things like - I really want to meet you, I feel like God is shining on this relationship, I feel like I've met someone extra special, etc. You don't say things like this and just completely drop someone five days later. Post Reply
View Profile History	Need A Woman's Prespective Posted : 20 May, 2017 09:34 PM "I was being honest with her. I'm not going to lie." I didn't tell you to lie. But you have to learn not to share every single detail that pops into your head when you're dating someone. This is like going for a job interview. If you're applying for a job, let's say, at a landscaping company, and they mention that they have zero-turn lawnmowers, then you shouldn't say, "Uh, I have never driven one of those!" If you drop comments like that all the time, you'll never get hired, and no one will want to date you. If you have never driven one of those, then you'll learn! Don't say that you don't know how to do it or have never done it before. If you continually reassure your boss that you cannot do what he wants you to do, then why should he hire you? Women want somebody who will be a leader, someone they can look up to, someone who is not afraid of things and life's challenges. You have to show her that you can do that. "How would you feel if you've never traveled by yourself and some woman you met asked you to come see her? Would you go by yourself?" Of course, I'd go. I love to travel. In fact, I drove 500 miles to see a girl last year. I have never gone on such a long trip alone before. This was my first time, and I was worried about everything. I thought the car is going to break down or I will not know what to say to her when I see her. I was worried that I am going to be too late or too early or not find her house. I know, it's always a bit exciting when we do something we have never done before... "I know what I learned from this experience. It's to never tell a woman everything about me. It's to never share personal things about my life with a woman. It's to never believe anything a woman says. All women are the same." You are not far from the truth, my friend! You can learn on your own! See? Why am I even telling you what you need to do? If your wife asks you, "How do I look?" and you tell her, "You look fat and ugly" you might learn this lesson the hard way!!! But it's important to learn these things while we're not married, so when you are married you know not to say everything that's on your mind. ;-) Post Reply
View Profile History	Need A Woman's Prespective Posted : 20 May, 2017 09:50 PM "She said things like - I really want to meet you, I feel like God is shining on this relationship, I feel like I've met someone extra special, etc. You don't say things like this and just completely drop someone five days later." Yes, you do. When we are talking with women, they do not know us completely. Only you know yourself. And I know myself. But they have no idea who we are. So, based on what we tell them, they get to know us a little bit, and they fill in the rest. They make a bunch of assumptions about us, and they may even say they like us. But much of that is based on fiction. Why? Because it's all based on assumptions. See, if I visit a woman's profile and I see her head only, I assume that she is maybe 5'4" and has average body if that's what her profile says. But if I visit her, and I discover that she is bound to a wheelchair and completely paralyzed from neck down, then I would be shocked. Why? Because I had known her very little and assumed a lot. Now, that I have more detailed data, I can make a better judgment about her. And since I wasn't expecting this, it comes as a total shock. There's a lot of assumptions we make about each other, and when those assumptions come crashing down, then we have a no show or just gone without a goodbye. Unfortunately, those things happen a lot. :-( Post Reply
View Profile History	Need A Woman's Prespective Posted : 20 May, 2017 09:56 PM I have to say that was somewhat immature of her to say such nice things and then drop you so suddenly, but at least she gave you an explanation. I give her credit for that. I have had a similar situation where I got to know someone. We exchanged lots of messages, and then I said one bad thing that I should not have said, and she went silent. She never spoke to me again. Such things can happen. Post Reply

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