Author	Thread: REASON FOR DIVORCE?
DEEDEE72 View Profile History	REASON FOR DIVORCE? Posted : 21 Oct, 2010 03:37 PM Would any of you not date someone because of the reason they are divorced? Grew apart, Fell out of love, spouse coukd not control their spending? Post Reply
rainbowian View Profile History	REASON FOR DIVORCE? Posted : 23 Oct, 2010 09:18 PM "Grew apart, Fell out of love" I'd say that both these are reasons for concern. Generally people use them as a euphemism for "I didn't want to put the work in to make the relationship a success". What will happen if there's a bump in the road of the relationship? Will they bail out again? Post Reply
cowgirl1984 View Profile History	REASON FOR DIVORCE? Posted : 23 Oct, 2010 11:43 PM @Lady. That is a good question... Honestly I think that both are difficult for different reasons, and it depends on the circumstances. For example, with a widower, if his wife passed a while back and he is moved on and ready to date again and simply has fond memories of a woman he loved, then great. If he is sharing many wonderful stories about his wife, he might be unintentionally comparing every woman to his wife, and yes, I agree with you, that would be so hard to live up to :-/ The problem is, the same can be true of an ex. And with an ex, there is always that chance that suddenly she will want to get back together. It is easier to get back together with an ex than with a late wife/husband. I do not mean that to be an insensitive joke at all, even though I know how that sounds. But it's a fact that with the former spouse still living, the latent feelings can more easily be rekindled and be a problem. I have seen this happen... But both situations, in my opinion, are equally difficult. It just depends on the circumstances. If forced to choose, I would likely rather marry a widower than a divorcee because I think it is less complicated, but I could be very wrong. @rainbowian. That is exactly what I think as well. That's one reason I think it's important to know someone for a while before getting married because I believe in being true best friends before getting married because when you "just don't have that spark anymore" you still have the love based on friendship, and when things get tough you have a foundation built on friendship that helps you better work together to get through things. So many couples when they start fighting have this "me vs. them" thing going. I'm a very competitive person, so the way that I choose to look at it for when I get married is that it is us (my husband and me) vs. the issue we're facing at any given moment, and I guarantee you my entire goal in life at that moment will be to beat that problem. My dad learned quickly that you don't make bets with me because I will win. So I would rather look at it as competing WITH my husband than against him. Anyway, what you said reminded me of that. You made a good point there, so just adding in my two cents to go along with it. Post Reply

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