Author Thread: engagement rings and weddings
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engagement rings and weddings
Posted : 7 Nov, 2010 08:16 PM

As I've mentioned on these forums before, I'd prefer to elope v. having a traditional wedding. There are a few reasons for this, but one of them is because eloping seems more financially responsible. Every time I hear about the costs of weddings, I kind of freak out a little!



Then, of course, there is the engagement ring, which can be quite expensive too! While I like nice jewelry as much as the next woman, I question whether spending a lot of money on a ring is practicing good stewardship.



Then, there are the costs associated with the honeymoon. While going on a fabulous, expensive vacation could certainly be fun, I'm sure, is the purpose of a honeymoon really to be entertained? It should be more about experiencing each other v. experiencing the surrounding area, perhaps? The former could be done anywhere, without needing to spend thousands of dollars.



With all those things in mind, what do you all think are some good guidelines as far as a couple (and possibly the woman's/couple's parents) spending money on engagement and wedding-related things? Are there some ways to cut corners that are generally acceptable? Other ways that would just make thing seems tacky or cheap?



Guys, please feel free to jump into this discussion, as well.

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DontHitThatMark

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engagement rings and weddings
Posted : 8 Nov, 2010 09:09 PM

I can testify, hocking hills is great. Just make sure you get a private place, otherwise you get to deal with screaming children/funky music all day/night. It's a pretty big touristy spot.



:peace::peace:

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Posted : 8 Nov, 2010 09:27 PM

Cobbler, I LOVE that you mentioned Hocking Hills. When Mark and I camped there I kept thinking, �I want to get married here.� Of course, I was still holding on to hope that my family would be okay with me eloping. They aren�t, and that�s fine. The wedding details, in my opinion, are for the family. The honeymoon and the marriage are for the newlyweds.

As for cutting costs, something I never understood is the bridal party. Bridesmaids and groomsmen� I�ll probably Google the origins of that tradition when I�m done. And the big, frilly white dress� did not originally stand for virginity. It was a show of �look how much money I have that I can drag (in this time period) unwashable, expensive white silk on the ground and never use it again�. If a white wedding dress is important to somebody, that�s fine, but to dump so much money into it is just� I can�t wrap my head around the figures. My brother�s new wife�s dress was a �bargain� at just under $2,000� and it was the 2nd dress she bought for the same wedding! A white prom or nicer bridesmaids dress would be great! I was surprised to search the internet and find that not all bridesmaid dresses are as ugly as the ones people tend to pick for their party. Also, I�d rather have a really interesting gemstone than a diamond, but that�s just me. And moissanite is really cool, kind of diamond-y, more affordable, and it came from space!

I agree about the honeymoon� why go somewhere super amazing when you�re probably going to want to spend most of your time inside together. :goofball: Save bigger vacations for when you�re a little less intent on marital� stuff.

There are all kinds of ways to cut wedding costs if you don�t value some of the added on traditions, but I understand that most women seem to be more attached to tradition than I am, so I�ll leave it off here.

Mark, I thought you were really into the jug band music Mammaw was blasting at Hocking Hills�

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DontHitThatMark

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Posted : 8 Nov, 2010 09:38 PM

Well...I was at the time, but I've changed so much since then. Public drunkenness, unsupervised children in constant danger of death by RV, and music that sounds like a Gene Autry techno soundtrack no longer fit in my "taste". Hey, people change...what can I say?





:peace::peace:

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Posted : 9 Nov, 2010 08:27 AM

I can�t believe I forgot all about this, especially since I am going through the images right now. The first time I went to Hocking Hills was with the singles group, and we met a couple on their honeymoon. The bad part was that the wife had fallen and broken her ankle. We came upon them while the park rangers were hiking her out on a stretcher. Since we had about 2 miles to go, and we were going in the same direction, we helped the rangers carry her out. What a way to start a honeymoon off!



But don�t let that story scare you away from there. It is still a great place to go.

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Tulip89

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Posted : 9 Nov, 2010 09:50 AM

I've never gotten the whole wedding dress/bridesmaids dress thing. Personally I think some sundresses would make excellent bridesmaids' dresses, and one of those long sundresses in white would make an excellent wedding dress. Those can't be very expensive at all.

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marikashome

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Posted : 10 Nov, 2010 08:47 AM

I'd prefer to elope too, Pixy. Spending $1000/minute on anything just seems a little expensive to me. Skip the fancy engagement ring and the expensive wedding--buy me a new car or make a downpayment on a nice house instead! :applause: At least lets use the money on a really nice honeymoon.



The perfect wedding/engagement set for me would be a simple slim silver band for engagement and a matching slim gold band for marriage. A set like that which fits together to make one band would be perfect. Or if the guy is really special and talented, he could take a metal working class and make the wedding/engagement rings himself.



I also like very non-traditional things, so my ring wouldn't need to come from the wedding section. There are some gorgeous plain bands made of turquoise, jade, and other stones.



The perfect wedding for me would be outdoors or in a small chapel. Denim would be acceptable attire for the entire bridal party. (The bridesmaids could have matching or similar blouses, the groomsmen matching or similar shirts.) Not many flowers, though I would splurge on a real bouquet for myself. No DJs, no dance, no drinking--an ice cream social, with tables decorated with bowls of icecream toppings and some simple place settings would be perfect. I'd have one small cake to cut, just one box cake with white frosting, nothing fancy. Guests would have ice cream instead of cake. Served straight from the containers. With wedding cake at several dollars a slice, that alone could save quite a bit!



For the honeymoon... I've known people to go camping/hiking on their honeymoon. It isn't really a bad idea. I'd like an early afternoon wedding, icecream social, and then sneak off with my new husband for a private picnic in a secluded spot.



I want my wedding and honeymoon to be as stress free as possible. After all, my husband and I should be the ones to enjoy it, not worried about budget and perfection, and not exhausted from the big to-do!

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marikashome

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Posted : 10 Nov, 2010 08:52 AM

@Paschen-a pot luck is a wonderful idea! I have pretty much everything newlyweds would usually be gifted, so I'd considered offering a few charities they could donate too in our names, but "just bring a dish for four" would be excellent and delicious, and a beautiful way of showing community, as well.

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DontHitThatMark

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Posted : 10 Nov, 2010 02:19 PM

Ice cream! Great idea!



:peace::peace:

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Posted : 10 Nov, 2010 10:31 PM

*Must look up Hocking Hills*



I'm with Siylii about the bridal party. I don't understand it... Personally, I don't want anyone else standing up front with the groom and I except for the pastor. I don't want people breathing down my neck like that, and the idea of having an entourage is uncomfortable for me. But, if I were to have bridesmaids because the groom or someone else insisted upon that, they'd wear mismatched (but coordinating) dresses... They always have some great stuff at Anthropologie that would be absolutely perfect, finances permitting.



What Marikashome said about spending money on something like a car or a downpayment on a house is a good point. I always thought that even if the future hubby and I had the money for a really big, expensive bash, that there are so many other things that I'd rather use the money for.



As far as rings go, if a guy presented me with a diamond ring, I'd question whether he really knew me. As far as precious gems go, I'm a sapphire girl. I do like diamonds, but not as the main stone. I like diamond chips set into a filigree around the main stone. They have the affect of glitter then. With a sapphire in the centre of the that it would be like a starry night sky. And I don't like yellow gold... But really, anything unique is fine. If the guy could come up with something that had some sort of special meaning for us as a couple, that would be great. The symbolic nature of the ring should not be forgotten =)

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Posted : 11 Nov, 2010 09:03 AM

The cake is mostly what throws a wrench into my hypothetical wedding planning. For example, if I were a guest at marikashome�s wedding, I would leave with my vegetable lasagna if she wasn�t going to share her cake with me. I say it �throws a wrench in� because if I had a wedding and not an elopement, I demand a cool, delicious cake. But if I was to have a cool cake, I couldn�t just have everything else be casual and have an amazing cake: that would look weird. So then the affair would have to measure up to the cake. * sigh * Plus, if you shop around, different bakeries have very different pricing on their cakes; I�ve seen one that looks perfectly reputable where the slices start at barely over a dollar, and is therefore comparable to a grocery store bakery! Also, wedding cupcakes are very inexpensive compared to a fancy cake, but I�d prefer a cool cake. I wouldn�t recommend having a cake and only certain people can have it.

Oh, and I looked up the origin of the bridal party, and it�s kind of hilarious. Apparently friends were to dress up to look like the bride and groom so that jealous spirits would accidentally curse the friends instead of the real bride and groom, and if members of the party never ended up getting married it was believed that the spirits cursed them in the line of duty. The tradition has just kind of turned into what it is, and the original meaning forgotten just like most holiday and wedding traditions.

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