Author	Thread: What does this mean?
Admin	What does this mean? Posted : 15 Nov, 2010 04:51 PM Ok, so me and this girl on here who I'm really into have been talking for like a month now. We really feel a connection and we both told each other we love each other. Now for some reason she's telling me she's not ready for a relationship and that she only wants to be friends. What does this mean? Does it mean she's not interested or does it mean I should give her some time to come around? Post Reply
View Profile History	What does this mean? Posted : 16 Nov, 2010 10:14 AM I know yall probably don't believe me and I know it sounds crazy but I really feel something for this girl. She keeps reminding me that she just got out of a bad relationship and that she needs time. Only problem is I'm not sure me and her will ever go anywhere because it's like the more space I give her the further she moves away from me. Maybe I should just let her go... Post Reply
View Profile History	What does this mean? Posted : 16 Nov, 2010 11:06 AM you need to differentiate between infatuation and love Post Reply
bcpianogal View Profile History	What does this mean? Posted : 16 Nov, 2010 11:10 AM A well-known Christian author (I think it was Elisabeth Elliot in "Passion and Purity", but I could be wrong about that...I've read a lot of different books and authors lately) said that when a guy says "I love you", he needs to follow that with "And will you marry me?" A proposal should never come before the "I love you", either. While I might find that to be a bit extreme, it does show how much impact those three little words can have. "I love you" is serious business, and shouldn't be thrown around lightly. Just because you feel "something" for each other doesn't mean that you are ready to love each other "until death do you part." I'm not "fussing" at you, Cool, but given that you've not even met this girl (at least, that what I understood from your post), and aren't dating her, you really need to take a step back and think things through. You are a sweet, tender guy who desperately wants a girlfriend. This girl is probably still hurting from her last relationship. The best thing that the two of you can do is take your online friendship (because that's all it is at this point) before God as INDIVIDUALS, not a couple, and seek His will. Post Reply
View Profile History	What does this mean? Posted : 16 Nov, 2010 11:46 AM I agree with what pianogal said. Let me also reiterate that asking us for our opinions in no substitute for having an open, honest conversation with this girl. To be honest, if the guy I've been talking with hopped on the forum here to ask you all for interpretations of something I said, I'd have an issue with that. I would be wondering: 1. What's wrong with our friendship that he doesn't feel he can ask me for clarification on something I've said? Am I coming across as intimidating, etc? 2. Is this pattern going to carry over to marriage? When he doesn't understand me or is frustrated with me, is he going to go talk about it with his buddies before coming to me? 3. Doesn't he care enough about me to want to know what's actually going on inside my head? Why would he rather guess based on what others think? If you're truly developing feelings of love for this girl, then show her some respect and talk to her about this. Neither of you is ready for a relationship if all you're doing is spouting off "I love you," but can't even have an adult conversation about whether she has any desire to ever be in a relationship with you. Post Reply
bcpianogal View Profile History	What does this mean? Posted : 16 Nov, 2010 12:52 PM You are absolutely right Pixy. A good conversation about this with the girl in question is greatly needed. Our advice is strictly one-sided, based on what you've told us. Also, let me clarify what I mean about taking the friendship to God individually: I mean that you need to pray about it, and she needs to pray about it. Don't have lengthy online prayers together. You need to each pour out your hearts to God about this issue, and that needs to be be done privately before you start doing it together. Post Reply
View Profile History	What does this mean? Posted : 16 Nov, 2010 08:30 PM I can think of two possibilities here: 1. What has been said already, that she is going through a difficult time, and you really need to slow things down. 2. She isn't interested anymore. Sorry if that sounds harsh, but it is a possibility. Post Reply
View Profile History	What does this mean? Posted : 17 Nov, 2010 11:54 AM Cool, I'd have to agree with everything that's been said thus far. You mentioned that she's just gone through a bad breakup. Could it be that this girl is afraid of being hurt again? It could be too much, too soon. Given what you've told us, the two of you have shared enough conversations for the two of you to believe yourselves in love. There is a difference between being in love and being in love with the idea of being in love. For both your sakes, step back and take a look at this situation realistically. I'm sure you feel something for this girl and she; you. But can you honestly say that you've "grown" to love her without having actually met her and without having spent that face to face time that is critical in any budding relationship? I'm happy that you've found someone you feel close to. But I agree with everyone here that it seems a bit fast and if she seems to be pulling back, then maybe you need to give her the space she needs while following the advice to talk with her about why she feels she needs that space. Remember, prayer is the best method to gaining the answers you're looking for. Best wishes to you and your lady friend. God bless you both. Post Reply
View Profile History	What does this mean? Posted : 18 Nov, 2010 08:14 AM Guess all I can do is pray, pray, and pray some more. If that doesn't work I guess I'll just have to repeat steps 1, 2 and...3. LOL. No really I do believe prayer changes things with you pray earnestly but I really don't know I can be anymore earnest than me pouring my heart out before God. I've spent many nights talking with him and pouring my hear out to him. I've cried, I've begged, I've just laid myself before him and just asked him why am I still alone. Why am I even here. I just don't know what to do anymore. Like no matter what I do, not matter how much I try to change, be patient, nothing ever works. Post Reply
Tulip89 View Profile History	What does this mean? Posted : 18 Nov, 2010 09:57 AM I can't claim to know God's purposes, but I would hazard a guess that he's not giving you a girlfriend because you would look to her for your satisfaction and not Him. It's like Matthew 6:33 say, seek first His kingdom and His righteousness. Post Reply
DontHitThatMark View Profile History	What does this mean? Posted : 18 Nov, 2010 10:58 AM Agreeing with tulip again. Pray for God to give you what you need when you need it , and then go about your work of becoming a Christ-like christian. If you want to be in God's will, you have to accept that you may be single until you're 100 years old. When you're willing to trust your life to God like that, then He will bless you with your desires....as long as they're good for you, lol. You just need to make God your true desire first. :peace::peace: Post Reply

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