Author Thread: Top 3 needs of a man, woman
Admin


Top 3 needs of a man, woman
Posted : 5 Dec, 2010 12:55 PM

Top 3 three needs..woman, man.

We just had a guest speaker at our church preach to us about how to have a strong marriage.

Understanding the needs of your mate, is the key. Here are the top 3 needs of a man and women in marriage.

For a man:

#1) Honour and respect (from wife)

#2) companionship

#3) sex (no big surprise)



For a woman:

1) Security

#2) Communication

#3) Leadership ie: from husband. Wife needs to be under submission or under a mission that the leader (husband) has.

Interesting most woman rank sex somewhat facetious as #13, right after gardening.



Couple other points He made.

A woman is born with all the eggs she I`ll ever have. A man on the other hand can continue to produce and sow seed until the day he dies, hence it`s inherit in man to produce and sow seed throughout his life (not just talking sex) but may be the reason men seek younger woman.

Clarifying 1 Peter 3:7 where it says the wife is the weaker vessel meaning she is as a treasured expensive vase that a husband should cherish and honour and respect with great value.



I enjoyed hearing this message as it made clear to me alot of areas I had questions.

If you have any comments feel free to have your say.

Post Reply



View Profile
History
Top 3 needs of a man, woman
Posted : 6 Dec, 2010 10:45 AM

I think this is what twosparrows means:



1 Corinthians 7:33-34 (NASB)

33 but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how he may please his wife,

34 � but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how she may please her husband.



The focus in marriage isn�t about the other person making you happy, it is about each one focusing on pleasing the other person.

Post Reply

Tulip89

View Profile
History
Top 3 needs of a man, woman
Posted : 6 Dec, 2010 02:14 PM

Pixy, I think there are several issues at work here. (Disclaimer: I've never been married, so most of this is speculation. Educated speculation, but speculation nonetheless)

From my understanding of physiology, men have what essentially amounts to a physical buildup that needs to be released, whereas women don't really.

I think a lot often women expect their husband to make them happy, which leads to a lot of disappointment. Men, on the other hand, often barely understand women enough to figure out how to get married to one, so they're at a loss as to how to understand their wife's emotional needs/how to "warm her up."

Couple that with the demands of work, raising kids, maintaining the house, aging, gaining weight, not feeling as pretty as they used to, etc., and it could be easy for sex not to be a very high priority to a lot of women.



That said, I've heard of churches doing "pledge to have sex with your spouses 5 nights a week for a year" drives, and the response from couples is overwhelmingly positive at the end. I seem to remember one of the bigger ones being at Mark Driscoll's church, but I may be wrong. Anyways, it seems that there is evidence that lots of sex is good for a Christian marriage, and that doing it more helps fix other problems.



There's even a book about it: http://www.relevantchurch.com/30dayblog.html

Post Reply



View Profile
History
Top 3 needs of a man, woman
Posted : 7 Dec, 2010 09:55 AM

@River, sorry, I was addressing the original post.

Post Reply

bcpianogal

View Profile
History
Top 3 needs of a man, woman
Posted : 7 Dec, 2010 12:41 PM

I've never been married, and I'm still a virgin, so I probably don't have any business commenting on this topic, but that never stopped me before...

I don't see how women can put sex that low on the list. I'm anticipating that sex will be an important (and, hopefully, enjoyable) part of marriage. If it gets boring, that's when it's time to have an honest discussion with the hubby to see what can be done as a couple to keep the passion going.

'Sides, I HATE gardening. Very little can rank as low as that!

Post Reply



View Profile
History
Top 3 needs of a man, woman
Posted : 7 Dec, 2010 06:19 PM

I know we all tend to focus on the sex comment when someone is speaking overlooking what else is said.

However, the speaker in this case was being facetious just to piont that well sex is important to a wife it may not rank in the top 3 needs unlike a husband.

Post Reply

hubbarddebra99

View Profile
History
Top 3 needs of a man, woman
Posted : 8 Dec, 2010 11:09 AM

Yes Pixy, Sex is very important. That's not really what I meant.

but it's like this: even in the best relationships the woman do more; more of care for children(ie if she breastfeeds) more housework, (even if he helps) really even in the most equal of couples I have seen, the woman does do more. Also, and this just seems to be, Woman seem to get more tired. A man seems to be able to get ready anytime his wife says sex, a woman sometimes is tired.

Post Reply

hubbarddebra99

View Profile
History
Top 3 needs of a man, woman
Posted : 8 Dec, 2010 11:12 AM

tulip,

u get it!!! wise beyond your years are you!

Post Reply

Tulip89

View Profile
History
Top 3 needs of a man, woman
Posted : 8 Dec, 2010 12:36 PM

You make a good point about the housework and child raising Debra. It's important for both men and women to respect what the other does during the day. For example, a wife who complains that her husband is gone all day and doesn't do his share of the housework is going to make him feel like she doesn't appreciate the fact that he works all day to make sure they have the money they need to pay the bills and buy what they need. At the same time, if the husband dismisses what the wife does all day as easy and not really work, the wife is going to get frustrated with him and all depression-y.

It's also important for the wife to make sure she isn't depending on her husband for her happiness. He can't be Jesus to her. He can lead her spiritually, but he can't ultimately provide her with joy. She needs to have somewhat of a life apart from him, hopefully in the form of a core group of strong Christian friends and a looser association with nonChristians. I can't tell you how many times I've heard couples speak on marriage and the wife said she was terribly disappointed in their first couple years of marriage because she tried to make him responsible for her happiness.

Post Reply



View Profile
History
Top 3 needs of a man, woman
Posted : 8 Dec, 2010 10:14 PM

Thanks for the insight, Tulip. I think you're right.

Post Reply

hubbarddebra99

View Profile
History
Top 3 needs of a man, woman
Posted : 9 Dec, 2010 02:10 PM

a wise, wise, young man you are Tulip! (i have a daughter!)

Post Reply

Page : 1 2