Author	Thread: what makes you say "absolutely not?"
skinnywhiteboy View Profile History	what makes you say "absolutely not?" Posted : 11 Feb, 2010 12:01 PM Ladies, is there anything that makes you say "Absolutely not?" to a man? Ie smokers, drinkers, I'll start it off myself, to set the bar. I say "absolutely not" if she's white, and more than five years either side of my own age Post Reply
Dramachic1258 View Profile History	what makes you say "absolutely not?" Posted : 13 Feb, 2010 09:21 AM for me, my absolutely nots are based on my personal background. If someone has lower than a college degree i say no. THis is because i watched my father struggle with never going to college for his entire life. another big one for me is smoking. again i watched most of my family kill themselves with cigarettes and I can't stand the smell anymore. so i think it is hard to create a general list of things from women on here because it is all dependent on their background and their experiences. Post Reply
skinnywhiteboy View Profile History	what makes you say "absolutely not?" Posted : 13 Feb, 2010 12:44 PM Hey lovesmusic, thanks for your post. And for what it's worth, NO you are absolutely not racist or self-racist or anything of the sort. Given what you said about not being shy, and seeing some of the reactions to this post, I feel I should explain myself, as I seem to have bothered a lot of folks, and owe them an explanation, so here goes, with some helpful background info. Thanks lovesmusic!!! I grew up in a missions training facility whose specialty is teaching future missionaries English, and preparing them for the culture shock they will endure upon entering foreign fields. I spoke a blend of Spanish, French, and English, according to my parents, till roughly age seven, when I "decided" on English. (my house language) I don't hold grudges, and understand each person is each person, however, I do learn from my past. In my relationships, each of the three white women I've dated have dated co-workers or friends of mine immediately following the termination of our relationship. (Think next day, literally) I was dating a black (African) girl and she found herself with the same opportunity, which I fully expected her to take. When she didn't take the chance, I became confused. I actually took her to lunch to explain to her that it'd hurt, but I'd be ok if she returned the interest my co-worker was displaying in her. Much to my surprise, she said simply "no." I asked her explain a bit more, and I'll never forget the way she just smiled and said. "I can't do that, I just have too much class to be doing that kind of thing." Without specifics, the same basic scenario happened with a Japanese girlfriend of mine. Her answer was to look at me, shocked that I'd even think she would ever date a friend or co-worker of mine. Her response was "That's improper, who would do a thing like that?" Hope that helps, everyone, and Lovesmusic, thanks:glow: So, to put it simply, third time's a charm! Post Reply
stormcountry33 View Profile History	what makes you say "absolutely not?" Posted : 13 Feb, 2010 01:05 PM I'm surprised by the number of women on here who have said that a college degree is that important. I have a college degree but have worked in a factory as a machine operator since graduating and I have to say I don't understand their reasoning. My dad has worked in a factory all of his life and God has blessed him and kept him humble by working there and he was able to provide for the whole family,my four sisters and one brother and of course my mom. she works too but it was definitely through his job that we survived and got by. We all went to church every Sunday and have strong relationships with God b/c of the raising we had and most of my sisters have married Christian men and live by the example that my dad set for how men should properly treat a women. I understand skinny that this is your post and that these are their own opinions but I'm just astounded that women would judge a man's character base of the amount of "knowlege" that he has. Post Reply
skinnywhiteboy View Profile History	what makes you say "absolutely not?" Posted : 13 Feb, 2010 01:23 PM Hey storm, you've always got something good to say, so feel free to hop on anytime. I'm surprised by a lot of those same responses, I must admit. But hey, to each their own. Well it certainly helps to narrow down the field lol.:glow: You know how you can choose to block smokers, drinkers, people outside a certain age range from contacting you? Maybe we need the same kind of restriction for education levels? Post Reply
View Profile History	what makes you say "absolutely not?" Posted : 13 Feb, 2010 04:24 PM Unfortunately, some of us never had the "luxury" of attending college. I barely made it out of high school when my mother had to quit her job to tend to my grandmother who was dying of cancer. It fell to me to get a job and support my mother, sister, and both grandparents. So ladies, by all means, look down your nose at people like me. I have a low tolerance for arrogance. Post Reply
lovemusic123 View Profile History	what makes you say "absolutely not?" Posted : 13 Feb, 2010 05:05 PM You're welcome skinnywhiteboy. Now as for the education thing, some men seem to have hang ups when they see the "some college etc." and they just pass us by. You know come to think of it I have hangs ups when I see a guy with a big belly and they don't want to do anything about it and they just continue to eat junk food etc. Anyway I digress...... If a man is interested regardless of his level of schooling and yours he will go after his "good thing"! So ladies if you see someone via this site or any other site and you assume that he is not responding because of that one little thing called education, here's the secret "HE IS NOT INTO YOU". So keep it movin' ladies. Post Reply
ShrewdDove View Profile History	what makes you say "absolutely not?" Posted : 13 Feb, 2010 06:23 PM I can't speak for anybody here but myself, but in my opinion, almost every rule has an exception. And the exception will almost always step out of the woodwork and surprise you. I've known a lot of successful guys without college degrees, and a lot of unsuccessful educated men. A man should be judged by his character, and not by a bit of paper he has hanging on his wall. But then, I also feel the same for women. Skinny, I don't have any problem with your tastes. I've dated outside my race as well, and I've found that boyfriend to be much more respectful of me than the ones from my own. But there's always going to be exceptions. I'm white, and I would never dream of hurting someone like that. :( The character of a person is where the true value lies. Post Reply
cherished2 View Profile History	what makes you say "absolutely not?" Posted : 14 Feb, 2010 10:06 AM My "Absolutely NOT" is someone who treats others badly. That is not something I tolerate in anyone, and I cannot love and trust someone who does not give others respect. That's not to say that they have to agree with everything - they just need to have the ability to show tolerance and tact. I have so many more things that make me adore someone that I have things that drive me away...... Post Reply
jennigirl06 View Profile History	what makes you say "absolutely not?" Posted : 14 Feb, 2010 10:20 AM Hey Storm, I'm not sure if you saw my previous post but I will kinda repost/reword it for you :) For me it's not really about him going to college and getting a degree. It's about his ambition and desire for a better life. If the guy I date/marry wants to work in a factory then that is fine...just as long as he is happy and is working towards what he wants from like. I understand that life happens and not everyone is able to go to college or even finish high school. I myself am on a year break from college due to some life happenings. BUT I do want to go back to school and obtain a degree. Because that's what I want to do. I would be happy with a guy who worked at a pizza place all of his life just as long as he had ambition to make it a career and make it what he wants and works hard for. Many people just have a job and are working a job because they need the money and that's all thats there (which I understand in the economy) but if he is n't happy with that job and where he is at he should want to better himself, whether that be just applying for other jobs, starting his own business, or taking night classes. So for me...its not the level of knowledge or smarts...its about his drive and ambition to take on the world and do what he truly wants to do that makes me say absolutely yes..or absolutely no. I hope this help your confusion on what has been said by me...or by some of the other posters :) God Bless Post Reply
stormcountry33 View Profile History	what makes you say "absolutely not?" Posted : 14 Feb, 2010 10:38 AM Jenny thank you for your post, I completely agree with you as far as having ambition. I have never reallly known what I've wanted to with my life except I've wanted to coach youth soccer, have a strong relationship with Christ and I'd like one day to have a family. so to me, having a job is simply a way to allow me to support those other ambitions that I have. But when women look at a guys degree or lack of and makes an unfair decision on his character, that's not fair. and what I've seen in this post is that if a guy does not have posted that he has some college background then girls are turn off, that's not fair. I understand what your saying and appreciate it. I feel your comments are fair and just. Thank you for your post. Later!~ Post Reply

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