Author	Thread: Why do Christians think Physical Attraction doesn't matter?
Admin	Why do Christians think Physical Attraction doesn't matter? Posted : 14 Sep, 2010 06:30 AM I wanted to just get some insight into the world of Christian dating about attraction and the physical elements that come along with it. I understand that this life is short and we shouldn't be concerned with the physical but when it comes to dating and marriage...that is something that we only get here on this Earth. I don't believe I get to heaven and my wife comes running to me saying "I'm so glad you're here, I've been lonely." Till death do us part means our relationship ends at death correct? So anyway, it seems like people expect Christians (Specifically men) to overlook physical beauty and look at the heart. I know men are very visual and God created us that way (Why? I'm not sure) but do you believe we should pursue or even entertain the thought of dating women we are not attracted to physically? I know women do that all the time, but I feel like they are wired differently. I guess I would just like to hear some well thought out responses to this, because I seem to get a lot of ridicule for having high standards and wanting certain physical attributes to be there when I consider dating and marriage. Post Reply
View Profile History	Why do Christians think Physical Attraction doesn't matter? Posted : 16 Sep, 2010 02:19 PM I'm a Christian and I wouldn't say that physical attraction doesn't matter...but I would say it takes second place to spiritual attraction...maybe not if you are casually dating, but most certainly in marriage. C. S. Lewis said, "You don't have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body." I think it's an important point to remember. Love is spiritual...you demonstrate it in the physical...but the connections of the heart are spiritual. Friendship is spiritual...you don't go hang out and talk with friends because of the way they look (or I guess one might, but who would call that true friendship?) Marriage is a holy covenant...a spiritual union between two souls...it is just symbolized in the physical. The physical is just the wrapping paper of the soul. Not only does it age and fade, it gets stretched, torn and tattered, patched and torn again...sometimes beyond recognition of it's original design. What happens to the relationship if the majority of attraction is for the outward appearance? With that being said, I think that God places a certain aesthetic inside each of us. There is a reason that we like who/what we like and have the interests/talents that we have. They are markers that God has put inside us to lead us to our purpose in His Kingdom. So, Rightwing, my thoughts are that as long as you have reasonable criteria that are sincerely part of your aesthetic and not some fantastical Hollywood notion, then follow God's lead. God's blessings on your search. Post Reply
View Profile History	Why do Christians think Physical Attraction doesn't matter? Posted : 16 Sep, 2010 03:03 PM Hmmm...I didn't know whether it was wise to add my 2 cents worth here, but here goes (please don't bite me lol) I don't think anyone's denying the importance of physical attraction. However, the list of physical attributes etc I find wordly. Even when I know that I fit all of the attributes listed by a guy on here, I wouldn't mail him because I wouldn't find his worldliness attractive. At the end of the day, the bible is true and it says that "beauty is fleeting", and it is. If you place such a high value on physical attraction now, what will you do when that person is old and saggy? I think one of the things that I don't like about it, is that not only women, but men's opinion on what beauty/attractiveness is is heavily influenced by the media. I don't believe this is of God, and I don't believe those particular desires are of God either. And these fashions are constantly changing. I think this standard of beauty is distinct from simple physical attraction. And I think physical attraction to a spouse is also much deeper than the lust that people often band around as the physical attraction they need for their wife. I think, in a partner, there should be emotional attraction, intellectual attraction, spiritual attraction and physical attraction. And it's quite easy to have all the other things and for physical attraction to later grow between two ppl/friends. I don't think you should be marrying someone u cannot be physically attracted to. However, you should be obedient to God's leading because you may find his very best for you is far from who you physically thought you'd be attracted to, but is far better than anyone you could have ever chosen for yourself. I have waffled again...I'm going to bed! Post Reply
View Profile History	Why do Christians think Physical Attraction doesn't matter? Posted : 16 Sep, 2010 04:34 PM Great responses ladies. You just have to realize that listing attributes does not = importance. Also, you can be beautiful physically and spiritually. Too many people act like you have to be one or the other. My Mom likes to take that route. Either way, I liked your responses. Thank you! Post Reply
View Profile History	Why do Christians think Physical Attraction doesn't matter? Posted : 16 Sep, 2010 07:11 PM The only things I can see that I say authoritatively are my own opinions. Being me, I happen to know all about my opinions, so yes, I do have some authority on those things. Never said nobody would respond to your profile. Sorry for seeming offensive. Post Reply
Rabbit32 View Profile History	Why do Christians think Physical Attraction doesn't matter? Posted : 16 Sep, 2010 08:04 PM @ Smili I dont agree with you a 100%. Consider Song of songs, the young man go into depth how beautiful his love is, and how that makes him feel. For us physical attraction runs deep into our core, we cannot seperate ourselves from it, I have tried, and I believe God made us to be like that, otherwise there is no way I can be fruitful and multiply. Concerning age, men become emotioally attached. If you been around for a while, and have a man of one type or another, in your life you notice they wont get rid of certain things. Like I have some old Ford trucks, they dont run, they just sit there, usless. But I cant bring myself to get rid of them. We have history, and yes lol they even (still) appeal to me visually. I believe its the same as our wives age. We are not unaware that time and childbirth and whatever else takes its toll, but for some men we wont have anything else, even if its a newer model ;) @Rightwing, I aint sayin having paticular standards is a bad thing, but sometimes for women its how you say it, not what you say that will turn a woman off. You seem like a good guy, and I believe you mean well, but I dont think posting that on your profile is wise, but its yours, you'll do what you want :) Post Reply
DontHitThatMark View Profile History	Why do Christians think Physical Attraction doesn't matter? Posted : 16 Sep, 2010 08:23 PM Why do you list attributes if they're not important then? From the sounds of it, you're going to miss out on some people just because they're going to think you're demanding and shallow, even if you might not be. If you're using it as a filter, you're probably only going to get messages from/back from people that think very highly of themselves...and perhaps a lot of people that have some kind of humility are just going to pass you by. Just saying, you might miss out on someone so awesome that your list of high standards can't even touch them. I'm not saying you can't have high standards, but in an online venue, people will disqualify you for that list before they even know that it's not important to you. And maybe you wouldn't want to talk to them anyway....but maybe you do...why limit yourself? :peace::peace: Post Reply
View Profile History	Why do Christians think Physical Attraction doesn't matter? Posted : 17 Sep, 2010 12:15 AM DontHit: You're very right. I'm not looking to talk to someone that doesn't think highly of themselves. I like someone who is confident enough and knows who they are in Christ. You guys have got to chill a little. Just because I put "I like long hair" you are taking that to mean "Long hair is more important than a relationship with God to me!!" Give me a break guys. I've seen girls on here with profiles that say " I'm only interested in dating White men under 27!" I could spend my time being upset that God made me black and telling her how she is going to miss out on all of the non-white males out there that are awesome....or I can say Who gives a freak if she only wants to date white men. If you look at my profile and say "Oh my gosh he only dates girls that are 5'9 and I'm 5'8. I'm no good!" then there are some issues there and I am probably not interested. I doubt I'm going to miss the woman that God created for me because I put I like long hair and someone who is fit in my profile. I think it's ridiculous to even suggest that. I'm sure your girl got you in on this and I'm a little confused as to why a couple hangs out on a singles site but to each his own. I get plenty of messages that say "Hey, I know I'm not 5'9 but I'm an amazing girl." That's attractive and I appreciate the confidence. If I miss out on "The One" then was she really "The One" Post Reply
Rabbit32 View Profile History	Why do Christians think Physical Attraction doesn't matter? Posted : 17 Sep, 2010 01:18 AM "If I miss out on "The One" then was she really "The One" " lol it may mean that your not the one lol jk man good hunting ;) Post Reply
DontHitThatMark View Profile History	Why do Christians think Physical Attraction doesn't matter? Posted : 17 Sep, 2010 07:51 AM :laugh: Well, I wasn't saying any of that. I said, you might miss out on some awesome people. Didn't say you make "long hair" more important than God. And as far as my girlfriend goes, you'll notice I posted here first...even though it is the "ask a girl section:laugh:. I think you'll also notice that quite a few people have been posting the same thing, maybe it's good advice. I knew you'd try to discredit her and I, even though we both agree with your original post:dunce:, so I refrained from defending her like I wanted to:boxing:. Might as well now, I'll be "chill" though:bow:. I'm just wondering why you would ask women for opinions, and then single out one that was agreeing with you and tear it apart like that? It was obviously "just her opinion", and the part you "didn't like" about the list, didn't even have anything to do with your complaints in your original post. If you want honesty, then "combating"/discrediting everyone that offers good advice isn't a good way to get the truth. Just saying. And again, quite a few people have offered the same advice about "the list". And as far as your search, there is a big difference between confidence and ego. Although, maybe you're searching for someone "like-minded". Keep the list. I would think humility would be more valuable than *cough*"confidence" though. People with *choke*"confidence" seem to be a little sensitive. It's much easier to get along with people who are humble. :peace::peace: (I'm still on the site because I like the forums. They're much nicer than normal forums, because everyone...well...most people are putting their best foot forward since it is a dating site. So, that...and the bible discussion forums keep me studying my bible like I should. We're not the only couple still on here. You make friends and you want to stick around. Welcome to the forums!!) Post Reply
DontHitThatMark View Profile History	Why do Christians think Physical Attraction doesn't matter? Posted : 17 Sep, 2010 08:58 AM I mean....Rabbit said almost exactly the same thing about the "listing", directly after she did...and you didn't "combat" him. Seems strange. Siylii said, "silly", and Rabbit said "not wise". You might want to at least take "I don't date sensitive people" out of your list, because anyone that reads this is going to think you're hypocritical:laugh:. Hey! I've got a story! Once upon a time, while visiting my sister in a far away city, my older sister, my little brother, my sister's boyfriend, and myself...were driving to go rent a movie! On the way there, we were playing "slug bug"(yeah, mostly all adults too...it was my sister's thing.......she likes to hit people, even when she's driving, and sometimes even with the car....inside joke). So amidst all the punching, her boyfriend jokingly commented that my brother and I might have to sleep with my sister's gay roommate that night. My brother was sitting behind him and jokingly play-slapped him in the back of the head. It was slow and all wrist, couldn't even hear it on the boyfriend's shaven head. When we got out of the car, her 22 year-old boyfriend sucker punched(not playfully:boxing::MrT:...and this guy was a college baseball pitcher too) his girlfriend's nerdy little 16 year-old brother, right in front of her, because my brother "disrespected him". Needless to say...he lost the respect he was "defending", and he lost his girlfriend. The moral of the story? Sensitivity betrays "confidence" and displays ego and/or insecurity. Even IF she wasn't my girlfriend...your response to her opinion wasn't very "chill". :peace::peace: Post Reply

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