As I've mentioned on these forums before, I'd prefer to elope v. having a traditional wedding. There are a few reasons for this, but one of them is because eloping seems more financially responsible. Every time I hear about the costs of weddings, I kind of freak out a little!
Then, of course, there is the engagement ring, which can be quite expensive too! While I like nice jewelry as much as the next woman, I question whether spending a lot of money on a ring is practicing good stewardship.
Then, there are the costs associated with the honeymoon. While going on a fabulous, expensive vacation could certainly be fun, I'm sure, is the purpose of a honeymoon really to be entertained? It should be more about experiencing each other v. experiencing the surrounding area, perhaps? The former could be done anywhere, without needing to spend thousands of dollars.
With all those things in mind, what do you all think are some good guidelines as far as a couple (and possibly the woman's/couple's parents) spending money on engagement and wedding-related things? Are there some ways to cut corners that are generally acceptable? Other ways that would just make thing seems tacky or cheap?
Guys, please feel free to jump into this discussion, as well.
Siylii- regarding the cake, the small cake we would have would just be for show, so that my husband and I could still cut the cake and share a bite. We wouldn't have a slice and no one else would have any. But hardly anyone I know likes wedding cake, and I would make it clear that we were having an ice cream social in lieu of cake reception in the invitations. :)
Pixy - lots of great suggestions already given. When I got married it did not cost a lot of money. $500 in all for 200 people. It was catered - sandwiches and squares, coffee, tea etc. flowers for the church and my bouquet, and a hall rental and $40 for the preacher. This was over 30 yrs ago, but most people at that time were paying about $2,000 for a wedding that size.
It can still be done for about the same if a family member made sandwiches and squares, beverages. The cost of a church is sometimes about $500 now ( at least my church is) so I would have a wedding in a park, at the beach, friends yard or something if it was summer time.
Wedding cake - why can't you make your own? You can even use cake mixes. There are so many flavors now. Another idea is Dairy Queen ice cream cakes. They decorate them however you want them, even with your pictures on them. That would take care of the cake AND ice cream :laugh:
Getting married in the "off-season" saves money on plane tickets, lodging, etc) I think June weddings probably cost the most since it is THE wedding month.
Wedding dresses can be bought in the newspapers and advertised on-line - Worn once, or never-worn (wedding canceled) for very little money. I got mine from a wedding dress place that was closing.
My niece got married at the beach. Her attendants wore white blouses with colored sarongs. She wore a white blouse with a white sarong. Her husband wore casual but dressy shorts and a white shirt.
Rings - personal choice again. Not everyone wants diamonds. Some people choose birth stones, or have double wedding bands (slightly different) because they often have their hands in the dirt, or they do pottery or something.
Carnations probably cost the least and come in many colors so it is not limiting with a bit of greenery.
Giving guests disposable cameras to take pictures which they leave at the reception give you plenty of pictures of the event.
Re Eloping - that can be a good plan - way less stress. When you get back from your honeymoon you can throw a wedding reception for all your friends and family. This can be planned before you go away, of course. I'm sure you have read about some actors who have thrown themselves multiple weddings and receptions in various cities around the world. I think anything goes these days - its just personal preference.
Southwestgal, I like your suggestion about the disposable cameras. That's what I've always planned to do, but of course it will be with digital cameras instead! I have several decent (but not professional) photographers among my family and friends, so I'll give each of them an SD card for their cameras...then they can just give me back the SD cards and voila! I'll have tons of wedding pics to look through, and I can pick out my favorites to print!
I admit that I do want a professional photographer to take just a few pictures of the me and my new husband, as well as our families and the wedding party. I just want a few high-quality pictures to frame or put in an album. Surely someone will do such a small package!
Music is another area where people spend a lot of money. They feel the need to have a band or DJ for the reception, and of course they want live music for the ceremony as well.
For the reception, I would want to put together a CD of my favorite songs and my new husband's favorite songs. I doubt we'll be doing any dancing at my reception, so the music would strictly be in the background anyway.
For the ceremony music, I'm really fortunate. As a musician, I have a LOT of musician friends who have already told me that when I get married, the wedding music is their present to me. The only challenge is picking exactly WHO I want to play and/or sing!
Nope, not if I have my way! I'm a TERRIBLE dancer. I guess if my future hubby is a good dancer and wants to dance, he'll have to teach me enough so that I can make it through the reception without stomping all over his toes...or breaking my own ankle.
By the way, I have nothing against dancing, and I've always enjoyed trying to dance. I'm just a total klutz when it comes to things like that.
@Siylii: Cupcakes ARE a fun idea. I love cuppycakes =) That's so funny about the bridal party. But, it makes me want to have one even less!!
@Marikashome: Love the ice cream social idea too =)
@Southwestgal: Thanks for sharing about your own wedding and giving so many great ideas. I would absolutely be open to making my own cake (with some help). Getting married in the off-season is a great idea. I was thinking that I'd want to get married in Autumn, because it's my favourite season. But, then I was thinking about how cool it would be to get snowed in on the honeymoon. That would be so romantic to me!! Love the disposable camera idea!
@pianogal: I'd want a few professional photos too, but wouldn't feel the need for a huge photo package. My dad is a good photographer... Maybe having him take some photos would be a good way to keep him out of the way... Hmmm... I so agree with you about the music and dancing! I'm not really a klutz, but I don't really know how to do any kind of dancing other than ballet and bellydancing (and I'm not even any good at those). And the whole father-daughter dance thing would be VERY uncomfortable for me, because my dad and I just don't have that kind of relationship. Live music is nice, but if it came down to cutting costs, that would definitely be one of the things to go.
I follow this wedding blog (that I can't remember the name of off the top of my head) that has lots of good ideas too, but so many of them are expensive ideas. Many years ago, I started this scrapbook with wedding ideas in it, but I didn't get very far before deciding that I just wanted to elope. Reading everything in this topic, though, actually makes me feel a little excited now about the idea of having a wedding =)
Oh... also about the dancing thing... I want the reception to be really short, so I'm not sure there'd be time for dancing really. I wouldn't want it to be this party that goes on-and-on, I'd want to pretty much eat cake, toss the bouquet, and leave.
"This is the party that never ends....and it goes on and on, my friend...." :ROFL::ROFL:
Yeah, I agree with you Pixy. I do not want a lengthy reception (after all, I'll be looking forward to the honeymoon!), and dancing would just drag it out that much longer.
As for the father/daughter dance, that would have to be skipped anyway, because my father passed away when I was 12, and I don't have a stepfather. It's already going to be hard enough on me and my mom that he won't be there to walk me down the isle, so eliminating one more father/daughter tradition would be emotionally easier.
Yep, I think I'd be looking forward to the honeymoon too, and also some sleep after all the wedding prep and stuff!!
I can only imagine how difficult that would be to not be able to have traditional father-daughter stuff. It makes me realize that I do take my father for granted, even though we don't have the best relationship. *hugs*
