It is turning out to be one of those nights. You know, the ones when the weight of being single is ever so depressing and it seems like everyone else has someone to love. Everyone, that is, except for you.
Have you ever had one of those?
I began thinking of ways that I could cheer myself up a wee bit and the best idea that I conjured was to imagine what life may be like once I finally have my Mr. Amazing. You know, those silly little girly fantasies that we like to imagine and write about in our diaries.
I imagined what it may be like to be making dinner one evening and have my Mr. Amazing walk in from work. Finding his way into the kitchen he would try to snag a warm cookie or two, but gets a swift smack of the spatula to the hand for his trouble as I make a remark about those being for desert and him having to eat his vegetables first! Of course, he would reward me with a pitiful little puppy dog face as he kisses me and wraps his arms around me, yet they don�t exactly fit all the way around anymore due to our newest little addition to the family who only has about 2 or 3 months before he makes his grand entrance to the world!
He then whirls me around in a circle and dances with me, right in the middle of our kitchen, as he sings some silly little tune in my ear!
What kind of scenarios do you envision or dream about with your future spouse?
Guys, you�re welcome to join the conversation, too!
I've had plenty of "those nights" where I'm blatantly reminded that I am still single. (Living alone tends to do that to a person). Nevertheless, I can't let it weigh me down for too long, because I have a few things to keep me busy until then:
* School
* Work in the summer
* Applying for a *real* job in 2 months' time
* Seeking out fantastic people on this site. Sure, it seems like very few of them reply, but there is at least one who writes messages of substance. I have yet to find more like them.
I can't say I've brewed up any scenarios like those you described, though I have two (2.0) items in particular that I've been working on years in advance for my match. Occasionally, I wonder how she'll react to my work. I try not to think too much of life with her, because it'll ruin the fun once it actually begins.
I have nights like that...and mornings, and afternoons, and...you get the picture. But not as often as I used to. I'm slowly starting to accept the fact that there is a very good chance I'll never marry, and with that acceptance comes a different kind of loneliness.
That said, there is one scenario that always come to mind when I allow myself to hope. I am standing in the kitchen, cooking supper. The kids are trying to help me by setting the table. My husband gets home from work, kisses me, and helps the kids finish setting the table. Then he plays with the kids until supper is ready. Over supper, he tells all of us about his day at work, and asks about our day at school/home/work. When we are finished eating, we all work as a family to get the kitchen cleaned up. We have family devotions, and eventually get the kids ready for bed. Once they are asleep, my husband and I spend some time together talking, snuggling, and enjoying each others' company.
Y'know that's just the kind of marriage I'd like too. Of course, you're imagining a good day, not the bad or indifferent ones which comes with the package!
I'm surprised that if that's what you want you haven't been able to find it yet - I can't believe (though I accept I'm generalising from self) that most men aren't interested in that scenario. Obviously there's some hurdle which prevents people from even meeting in order to grow a relationship? I certainly don't believe that God is intending most of us here to be single, but somebody clearly does. Maybe we should be looking at each other through God's eyes rather than our own...
Dkj, I'm not sure if your post was in reference to what I said or what Miss_Wendy said, but I can tell you that I've had more than one guy look me in the eye and tell me that I have the exact same values, morals, goals, beliefs, background, personality, etc. that they are looking for in a wife. They tell me that what I say I want in a marriage and family is identical to what they want. Then they look away and say that they wish they could find a girl like me...but that they haven't yet. Clearly, there is something else that those guys are looking for, and I don't have that something. I wish I knew exactly what it was.
Hmm...I reread what I wrote, and I think that I sounded defensive. I'm sorry about that. That's not at ALL what I intended.
Perhaps it is like you said, dkj, and there is "some hurdle which prevents people from even meeting in order to grow a relationship"...but I've met plenty of guys who claimed to want that kind of relationship/marriage, yet were still looking for something else too. And I can understand that. "Wanting the same things" isn't a good enough reason to get marred.
It is just a little hard to hear "You are perfect! I hope I find someone to marry who is just like you!" :rolleyes:
bcpianogal, I can relate entirely to what you are saying. It is confusing to be told one moment that you are exactly what a man has always wanted in a wife and the next moment it's like, "Hey, where did he go?" lol. The inevitable disappearing act of magic!
Yet, while it is hard to accept at the time it happens, I have come to the realization that in the long run, it won�t matter about all of the wrong ones who have said, �No.� and left you heartbroken and all the jazz that comes along with being rejected. What will truly matter is the day when the right one says, �Yes!�
And yes, I do realize that life will not always be a bed of roses. There will be times when my, �Mr. Amazing� will turn into, �Mr. Nasty� and prance on my very last nerve and all of the rainbows will turn into fireworks. Yet, I also am fairly certain that there will be some things that I do that will positively drive him up the wall. lol. Naturally, arguments will ensue. It�s part of the package. Also, it�s healthy to disagree because you get everything out in the open but I guess that�s the thing about it. Someone who is different from me, yet, who�s personality compliments mine. I don�t want a man to complete me. That�s God�s job. I am looking for someone who compliments me. The man to finish off the team. Me, God and Mr. Amazing.
See, I don�t really think that it is about finding that one person that, �I just can�t live without.� I think that is kind of unhealthy. For me, when I find him, I believe it will be more fitting to say that I probably could live the rest of my life without him and be okay, it�s just that, well, I wouldn�t want to.
Your *really* need to come visit me in the UK! :hearts: :laugh:
I wonder if they're just holding out for someone even better - after all so many people believe they've got a perfect match somewhere out there, which isn't generally what you hear when you ask long-term married couples... :buddies:
LOL sounds like yu been reading romance novels. well i imagine a fantastic friendship, someone very easy to talk to, sometimes play with (however we choose :) . love that is FAITHFUL and genuinely cares about how any decision will affect the other. i dont expect a perfect guy cuz really they dont exist; but i expect a companion who will love me the way God designed....:glow:
lol this is a fun little post, my perfect scenerio would be very similar to yours.. but pre-marriage, kids, etc. Would be a peacful day/night, we could wake up early, head to the river for the day of fun in the sun with a family, and a few friends, then he comes over I cook for him, we talk about our days, then afterwards he would offer to help clean, but ofcourse I would object, then we would relax on the couch, watching a movie. We could end the night with just a goodbye kiss.. haha shesh I sound so corny
Actually you wanna hear something extremely corny? Every year at Christmas we go to my granny's house, and at her house she has a gazebo that goes out over the pond, I have like always dreamed of bringing a gentleman to meet my family for the first time, we walk outside alone, under the stars, hand in hand, we walk out to the gazebo, and he asks for a dance.. no music.. just the music we make.. lol.. :) Rerading that I sound crazy, but whateverm we only live once I suppose.
