Author	Thread: What is the right type of first message?
Admin	What is the right type of first message? Posted : 8 Oct, 2011 05:28 AM Hi. I'm useless at sending out messages & was wondering what the right sort of message should be. Post Reply
View Profile History	What is the right type of first message? Posted : 8 Oct, 2011 03:42 PM It all depends on the girl you're messaging and which way the wind is blowing at the time! I'm assuming you're messaging because there was something in her profile that stood out and grabbed your attention - in which case that'd be a good thing to mention. On the other hand, if there was nothing specific but the profile overall seemed like a good match for you, then you might want to say why you think so. Bear in mind that women get many times more messages than men in general, so try to make yours stand out as different, and create a good impression of yourself, otherwise you'll find yours deleted without a second thought or chance! Post Reply
View Profile History	What is the right type of first message? Posted : 8 Oct, 2011 05:09 PM Just a "hello" works for me! If a man sends me a long lenghty message it tends to turn me off. I think we should see if we are a match in a few lines. Usually, I reply to all messages with yes or no match. Unless the guy gets banned and that has happen more often than you know. :laugh: Post Reply
View Profile History	What is the right type of first message? Posted : 9 Oct, 2011 02:20 PM The "right" sort of message depends on the person you are sending to. You can say much the same thing in any message you send, but always tailor it - customize it - for the profile that caught your eye. If I were to send a first message to you (which I wouldn't since I'm dating and also you are too young for me :laugh:) I might say someting like this: Hi Rob. Your profile caught my eye. I have been to England before and would love to visit again. I also attend a URC church. Do you have your collections organized and displayed? I have a collection of penguin figures I have purchased or have been given to me, and I'd like to get them displayed so I can see them. Do you have any suggestions? I think we may have some things in common, and I'd like to hear from you. Take care and God bless, Godslamb You have to work out something in your own voice, using your own words. God's blessing on your search! Post Reply
View Profile History	What is the right type of first message? Posted : 9 Oct, 2011 04:37 PM There is no "right type of message" that will appeal to every person. I think a message that is honest, is interesting (shows some details about you), and ask questions showing about something you read her profile seeking to know her would be a good start. Good luck in your search! Post Reply
View Profile History	What is the right type of first message? Posted : 9 Oct, 2011 06:46 PM Obviously I'm not a chick, but would like to throw in my 2 cents anyway to try and help. Keep it short. Find a way to show you read her profile and it's not a generic copy/paste everybody gets. And try to find and state similarities you have. State what kind of relationship you're looking for. Those are the main bases you should touch on. Your profile does most of the "selling" anyway, meaning she will probably base her decision mostly based on that. An email should just be a slight extension of that to reach out and show interest in her specifically. So, like a well pitched joke, keep it quick, simple, make the points you need to, and just throw it out there rather than overemphasizing the punchline. Speaking of jokes, they don't really translate well online with strangers so avoid them when writing. After that, don't write again for at least a week or two if at all. If she's not interested from the get go, it's not because you didn't say the magic words in your message. If it is possible to right the ship with messages if the first one doesn't take, then coming off as desperate and clingy will anhilate what little chance you do have, which, sure as your born, she will think if you write two or more in a short time. Good luck. Post Reply
rainbowian View Profile History	What is the right type of first message? Posted : 9 Oct, 2011 07:06 PM ^^ I agree except I see nothing wrong with writing a generic message. You'll most likely have to send out a lot of messages before you get even one response so it's really a waste of time to send out individualized messages to everyone. Post Reply
View Profile History	What is the right type of first message? Posted : 9 Oct, 2011 07:48 PM rainbowman, About general messages, they do not work well with me. General messages read like spam. I would not even take the time to answer one of those. I want to see the person actually read my profile and picked up on one or two things on it t start a conversation. When I see a profile of someone that I think I could connect with I write down a message. I take the time to read the profile again and pick one or two things to write about. I ask questions on things that are important to me in a relationship. Then I wait. If I am not sure about the person's willingness to reply, I probably send a wink. Personally when I get one, I check out the profile and follow up with a message if I am interested. Post Reply
MyCrownIsGod View Profile History	What is the right type of first message? Posted : 10 Oct, 2011 01:58 PM Please Please Please...if you're going to respond to a lady, at least say Hello, Hi, How ya doin', Whats Up....Something! And say something about yourself too. A lady (at least this one) isn't going to respond to one line, incomplete sentences, or complete nonsense. Also, if you view my page, and I go to yours to look (which I almost always do) and you haven't really said much about yourself, it sends the message that you aren't very open to letting anyone get to know you. Why would I respond? For example, these are some of the Inbox messages I've gotten: Subject: Who am I Message: Fruitful Subject: Voluptuous Message: Had to check that out. THAT WAS IT! Not much to respond to there...so I didn't. So, guys...if you like my profile, prove to me you've actually read it by mentioning something about what I wrote, or how you think we have something in common. Be a little funny, even dorky funny is better than nothing. Make me laugh, or at least crack a smile at something you wrote. Spark my interest in YOU, so that you stand out from all the others. Tell me a little about yourself...your hobbies, your family, whatever, I don't care...just show me you can communicate like an adult. Give me something to respond back to, and ask me a question or start a conversation about something. Another thing, at some point age does become more than just a number...I'm 29. So if you're over 40, don't expect me to respond...because I'm not interested in dating someone who is old enough to be my dad. That's just...wrong. At least for me. Post Reply
MyRedeemerLives0309 View Profile History	What is the right type of first message? Posted : 27 Oct, 2011 10:25 PM First of all, be polite and say hello, how are you, etc. Secondly, mention things that you read on the girl's profile [it's a good feeling for a girl (can't speak for the guys, but can assume that they feel the same way) to know that someone has read AND paid attention to what you wrote] and try making "conversation" from there. And of course, say things about yourself that may get the girl's attention based on what you read on her profile, being yourself, of course, do not make things up just to get the girl's attention. I would say don't keep it too short, one-liners are off putting. It's been said don't make it too long either, but personally, long messages totally work for me. So, I would say, once you get a first response from the girl and get a vibe as to what type of message works for her, go from there. I met a guy on this site, whose first message was like 10 or more paragraphs long. I loved it!!! He totally took his time to write such a long message! It also showed me that he was a good conversationalist. I, in return, took my time to answer to each and every statement/question. (After that, we had looong GREAT phone conversations... It did not work out for us, though.) Now, I know that long messages do not work for everyone, based on the other responses on here. But who knows, maybe there's another girl out there who appreciates long messages. I know... this is a really long response... LOL Post Reply