What will it take you to somehow give a benefit of a doubt if a fellow guy wants to persue you,
And maybe you are interested BUT he doesn't meet this one particular requirement and it kinda shakes your grounds as weither should you bother giving a try,
Or not
This question is inspired by 2passages i'm currently reading (for my other personal interest, that trigured this question)
The first passage is Genesis 27 (when you read it all)
Its when Jacob was being blessed by he's father and therefore running away to Laban's place since Esau he's brother wanted to kill him for betrayal.
The 2nd one is 1 Kings 17 (when reading it all again)
Its when Elijah reflected the fullness of poverty (though in he's case it was for a righteous purpose hense fed by ravens commanded by God)
Both these guys ladies had two things inconmon:
Blessings-while having nothing tangible to present as prove that they won't sturve you as much as reflecting lackingness right now
Initiating the relationship-both of them had to break the ice inorder to have a relationship.
Little did the widow know that by accepting this man of God, he has abundance enough to even restore the child's life when her baby died, let alone her bin of flour not running empty in the season of drought and poverty
Same goes for Rachel when bringing Jacob home to Laban, they didn't know that their wealth was gonna be countlessly multipled to a point of jealousy when Jacob had to take what was due to him before leaving to face he's brother Esau.
Come my ladies let's share our thoughts on this
Relating to our personal seach (I know that poverty is so not our potion, we all want a comfortable life for our kids in mind, not lacking.....)
I have my non-negotiable and of course the negotiable. I think each person has to know what those are for themselves.
Since you have specifically brought up money. My mom was married to a rich man that made her life miserable. She married him for financial security. He died 3 years ago and now she is a free woman after 25 years. My dad is the opposite he financially struggles but the Lord always miraculously provides for him. He and his wife are in love very much and have a great marriage. I would rather be my dad any day of the week.
You've touched a question of foundation as you're sharing about your mum. I hear that the foundation either influences reasons of breaking up OR it inspires the relationship's success.
I agree with Mccubed...money can be a blessing or a curse. For me, it's not so much how much money they have or make, but what is their attitude about work and the future.
I look at how he treats people around him...is he polite to strangers, wait staff at a restaurant, my family, his family, etc. If he is rude or inconsiderate, that is something I would be challenged to overcome.
If he doesn't like kids, that would be a problem as I am in youth ministries and know that is where God uses me best. Not that I couldn't work in other ministries, but I am a natural with all kids.
The most important aspect is his Biblical views, do they fundamentally align with mine? If not, he's probably not a match. I'm not necessarily saying he has to be at the same level of Biblical knowledge...but does he know what and why he believes what he believes. Equally yoked is important.
Just a few of my thoughts...and I try to keep an open mind and heart to those who might express an interest in me as God may think I need someone other than I might pick out of a line up or stack of resumes!
I'm therefore always open for correction if one wants to help me get things right.
Before I express my openion about 'money'
Just wanna give words of appreciation to both of you ladies for your input & contribution to this post. By writing back you've opened this subject broad, which was exactly what I was hoping for when posting. When matters are discussed ideas come forth,
Unlike ones' narrow thoughts when making decisions alone.
Thank you my sisters!!
About 'money'
I personally don't think it has curses OR even blessings for that matter. Maybe,,,,,,, it may be a question of how it was gained/made which is onother subject on its own that one.
Money was rather meant to meet our needs. It doesn't change anything in ones' character or personally BUT plays a big role in revealing WHO WE REALLY ARE. At times i'm only humble cause i'm lacking and dependent on those around me to look out for me. Only to find that when having money i'm different from the person I am when I don't have. Does that mean money has changed anything in me? Nope
It rather revealed who I really am. As in weither i'm arrogant or like/polite.
If other people have been surrounded by wealth all their lives, and they still are humble and respect even the least seemed person,
What does that say about those who change from being nice to looking down on others cause suddenly today they have money?
Think i'm interested in more views about this subject 'money'
"For me, its not so much about how much money they have or make, but what is their attitude about work and future."
I like and supporrt that statement dear. Its so not about how much they make, its more of accountability with the little made. It goes back to how one knows the value of money. Accountability & responsibility are in my list of requirements. They go hand in hand, one cannot master only one without the other.
You've touched again attitude about 'work' which is my main problem with most of our fellow brothers in Christ. Brothers don't wanna work hey
But wanna be worked fore by ladies since majority of them are doing well anyway. Hense I asked on onother forum, how does this affect the relationship if/when a brother moves to a ladies place?
I understand the great importance of ministering and doing community work, which is what Jesus called us fore. My problem is the lack of balance in the body of Christ. How do you master community work and fail your wife and kids home? I really needs help on that one
It was unfortunate my post wasn't embraced when I asked about this from guys.
"I look at how he treat people around him, he's family...."
Yes dear I was told to observe how he threats especially he's mother inspite of her class (status)
That's exactly how he's gonna be treating you also.
"The important aspect, his biblical view. Do they fundamentally align with mine? Being equally yoked is important."
This one takes me to our long long chatt about serving in different altars being a married couple.
Thank you soooooooooo much Teach. You've brought forth important matters one should keep in mind as fishing for a mate.
When I said money can be a blessing or curse, I meant what you described...not the money itself, but what having/not having does to the people.
I was talking with my mom last night and got on the topic of money. Growing up she said she didn't know how poor her family was...and I was the same way. We were content, made do with what we had, not realizing what we were missing. If I wanted something, I earned money to get it. Still do today.
Wealth can be gone in an instant...when seeking a mate, there needs to be much more than money.
I plan to write on your other threads...just have been busy with work this week.
"When saying money can be a blessing or curse, I meant what you described about having/not having does to people."
Oooooohhhhh!
I totally misunderstood you dear,
I'm very sorry for that.
And thank you for clarification sis'
"If I wanted something I earned money to get it. Still do today"
You were well tought Teach
Believe me that made you a better person. Which reminds me of my humbling beginnings back in the years when I was still between jobs.
Remember when not called in duty,
There's no pay for those particular days, I was earning very little when there were great responsibilities to bear in mind. Interests rates monthly, electricity, food & toiletries not to mention my little one (my dog) who had a very sensitive health that needed serious attention. Couldn't bear the thought of taking her to SPCA, and maybe never see her again for whatever reason. I prayed and asked God to provide me with necessities for her health. I loved her Teach (still do). I'd bath her atleast 3times a week, (bath times were a night mare)
Meal times were great!
And take her for a walk, we'd be playing along the way. She'd exost me hey, while making me proud when rebuking her if and when misbehaving. She mastersed how to distinguish my tone and she'd still run to me as if nothing happened, with a sorry facial expression making sure if i'm not angry with her. Could never be Teach, she was amazing, very intellectual. I desired to have that selfless attitude towards God, inspite of He's tone when rebuking me for bad behavior.
That was total submissions on the spot, will never get over those memories with her. She knew how to soften my heart. I rewarded her for good behavior in as much as desciplening for rebelliousness. She'd put me on a test at times, just testing the waters if i'll beat her as promised. She was sooooooooo like a human being. Pity I couldn't take her with when leaving. I think of her all the time
(Got carried away for a while there)
All in all Teach
I had to make ways of meeting our needs. I was baking cakes and selling loafs from one corner to onother. My cakes and loafs had God's anointing. People appreciated them and the convenience of being brought fresh breakfast to your place. I had calls of orders, untill I couldn't keep up anymore, was always tired and busy that I forgotten that I was half employed. We've never lacked through God's grace.
I really believe in earning.
Just took me back to those days hey.... Came a long way I must say.
I enjoy our chatts Teach
I've recruited a new member when talking about you in the meeting today. (when having a small break, I told my colligue how great you are, and very helpfull to me. She wanted to meet you, so she joined today her username is 'Angelstone' if she posts something to ladies colomn)
I enjoyed reading your story of 'struggle' not that I like to hear how people are struggling, but how they work to overcome, relying on God but also working to find a solution. These are the trials that teach us how great God is and help our faith in Him to grow.
Your experience with the dog is very much like raising a child and the dog being able to distinguish your tone and moods is like our discussion of a mother and child on a different thread.
Hope your colleague enjoys her time here...I'm sure you warned her about some of the not so good types of folks.
"Your experience with the dog is very much like raising a child and the dog being able to dustinguish your tone and mood is like our discussion of a mother and child..."
Believe me dear that discussion took me back to my experience with my dog. That's how I could relate with you.
Concerning my friend being a member here,
I didn't wanna spoil it since she seemed interested.... Will keep her posted when she starts partaking in the forum.
I certainly know she'll enjoy our chatts with you, me and HJMP. Since we're the only active ladies here.
