I wonder if the women ever regret this like the Shulamite woman (Song of Songs 5). The guy is seeking her but she takes too long or pretends not to be interested or she begins making excuses and playing hard to get.
The Shulamite did not respond to her lover and he went away. True, Song of Solomon 5 is an erotic love poem, graphically illustrating two lovers. It describes how
her love came to the door, but she took her time answering and when she did he had already left.
:eat:
Song of Songs 5:6,8
"my beloved had turned away and was gone.
My heart leaped up when he spoke.
I sought him, but I could not find him;
I called him, but he gave me no answer.
... I charge you, O daughters of Jerusalem,
If you find my beloved,
That you tell him I am lovesick!"
:hearts:
It also has a spiritual meaning. Marriage is likened to Christ and the Church. And if Jesus came for you would you say you are too comfortable right now, vs.3. You might be thinking yeah most the guys on here are nowhere close to being Christ like. But even in a marriage when the guy reaches out to you do you pretend to be hard to get or you just want him to work extra hard for you? Like Jacob who worked for seven extra years to buy a wife. :bouncy:
In college, I was required to take an Old Testament survey course...my teacher's favorite book: Song of Solomon. Had I known just how much he liked that book, I SO would have cut class that day!
Anyway, back to playing hard to get...
If I want to be gotten, I won't play hard to get. If I don't want to be gotten, I try to be up front about it. I'm not interested in games. I do, however, expect the guy to put in some effort. I'll encourage him along, but I'm not going to do all the work. He needs to take the lead in some areas (like meeting in person, and maybe even phone calls). If he can't take the lead in a dating relationship, I would question his ability to lead in other areas. I don't think that's being "hard to get"...I think that's being careful.
That's just my opinion! Maybe I'm too old fashioned. I'm interested in hearing opinions from other girls.
Well for me myself,I'm not playing any games coz I dun want to be played as well and I know how it hurts.
I do want to see how far this guy would go for me in the relationship.marriage needs lots of effort and love,if from the beginning this man wouldn't want to fight for me when he's still freshly interested in me,what would he do when we lose the fire on our marriage in the future?coz I definetely with all my heart will do whatever it takes to live the words of "til death do us apart".
Not that I'm too picky or put a very high price upon myself,I just realize that we as a couple would need to run towards our goal,which is happily ever after as a husband and wife in Christ :)
Maybe I'm asking the man to do the same thing I would have done,but its for our both's benefit :)
I agree with bcpianogal. If a guy pursues me and I'm interested, I am not going to push him away. But I do expect the guy to take a leading role in the relationship.
Men love playing games, note football, soccer, bb, bb, etc.What are there now three ESPN channels, not to mention sport center channels, plus the specialty sport channels.
dear folks,, neither men nor women will get very far in life playin games.. the thing about a game is the game always ends.. be real and it could last forever..
There are too many that play games forgetting that they are not suppose to behave like the Pagans they once were. Playing games with people's hearts and minds is not for Christians. It is childish and a bad witness. Let your yes be yes and no be no. Anything else is evil.
Here is the game I don't like. It is called emotional terrorism. From a book by the same name. It is when two know each other so much emotionally,they begin to use that knowledge of the other to bring hurt and / or terrorize their life. It could be parents/children, employee/employer or a married couple, and toxic relationships, manipulation, narrcistic personality disorder, control freek, bullying and hardness of heart all fit into this catagory. When this enters a marriage relationship it is like lighting a fuse. It needs to be stopped before it blows.
Now, I thought women like to play games. But you may be right, men seem to be very into (sports) games. Some games may not be all bad. There is a balance to seek. On one end of the scale we have the emotional terrorist and all the negative games and players seeking their own self interests.
On the other hand their is the lighthearted teasing or banter (flirting?) companions have. It can even be a type of foreplay for marriage partners.
The passage in Song of Songs describes a woman who was awaken and starts making ecuses why she is not ready.
Compare this Christ and the Church type relationship to other passages and see that there is more than just a sexual description.
I think we may be confusing games of competition and teamwork, where individuals or an individual, using God's gift to them -- overcome adverse conditions to suceed (can you tell I like Sports) -- with a woman's attempt to not seem too easy.
Face it guys -- some of us if given a finger will grab the whole arm -- so I can understand the difficulty women have to go through in balancing their initial affections or signals.
Now there are people that get a pervesre thrill from teasing or hurting or manipulating others. They need our prayers.
But as to the woman who loses out because she played "hard to get" -- shame on that man for giving up so easily.
The best fruit is always higher up the tree and harder to reach. Most things in life that are worth it take effort to achieve.
How much sweeter and appreciative will her love be when she sees how hard and diligently you worked for it.
Word to the wise though Ladies.
Effort and demeanor in courting is directly porportionate to what you will recieve in marriage. So take heed.
Peace
�When you are courting a nice girl -- an hour seems like a second.
When you sit on a red-hot cinder -- a second seems like an hour.
