Author	Thread: Relocating?
Admin	Relocating? Posted : 3 Dec, 2009 03:39 PM I have a question for the women. Why does it seem like so many women dont want to relocate or are unwillingto relocate. To me I would think you would want to broaden your chances or choices instead of narrowing them down. I have messaged various women out of state, but have noticed none have gotten back to me. Now I know this might not be the reason why, but it does bring up the question in my mind. How many women are actually willing to relocate or are just saying that when they dont really want to. For me, there are not that many women from pa that I havent messaged or that just are not on anymore, so I have been messaging girls from surrounding states like ohio, maryland, NJ, or delaware. One girl did get back to me from ohio but she wondered why I was messaging her since I lived in PA. Post Reply
bcpianogal View Profile History	Relocating? Posted : 3 Dec, 2009 04:26 PM On my profile, I put "possibly, who knows?" in the "willing to relocate" spot. While I naturally would prefer to stay near home and my family, I'd be willing to relocate for the right guy. I'm not, however, going to pick up and move just because some guy wants to date me and doesn't want to have a long-distance relationship. I would also prefer to keep the distance within at least one day's drive so that going "home" occasionally is at least feasible. That's my position. I'm NOT willing to move to another country! Post Reply
View Profile History	Relocating? Posted : 3 Dec, 2009 04:45 PM I agree with you, I live in lancaster PA, and pittsburg for me is atleast a 4 hr drive, which isnt too bad, its maybe a half days drive. I wouldnt be willing to leave the country either. I think I put possibly relocate also, too me its kind of daring and gives you a new start to go somewhere else, though I would rather stay in my hometown, I wouldnt mind relocating. But it just seems to me that girls that live maybe in pittsburg or just a couple hours away just dont seem to want to talk or give you a chance becasue they think you live to far away. I just think they should broaden their horizens a little. But hey, thats just my 2 cents. Post Reply
rickc View Profile History	Relocating? Posted : 3 Dec, 2009 08:09 PM I'd like to elaborate on "Relocating?" To do do so --- I want to "borrow" bcpianogal's post --- in order to say what I want to say (I'm not trying to single you out, ma'am, just for illustrative purposes). So, BCPIANOGAL WROTE: "On my profile, I put "possibly, who knows?" in the "willing to relocate" spot. While I naturally would prefer to stay near home and my family, I'd be willing to relocate for the right guy. I'm not, however, going to pick up and move just because some guy wants to date me and doesn't want to have a long-distance relationship. I would also prefer to keep the distance within at least one day's drive so that going "home" occasionally is at least feasible. That's my position. I'm NOT willing to move to another country!" This thread is in "Ask A Girl" (tho I'd prefer they worded it "As A Lady"), but that's beside the point! COMMENTS -- I'm single ("never married") and believe that wherever my future wife is -- (that is, if I get one, and I don't feel called to lifelong celibacy) -- that she and I will unite in all of the ways husband and wife do. This obviously would include our "calling in ministry," which all believers are called to do. On profiles I've seen the "No Way! (they will relocate)" option selected by ladies. And as above, "I'm NOT willing to move to another country!" These options or preferences are just fine! What they say to me, among other things, includes: 1) They know *for sure* that they aren't called to do missionary work, 2) That whoever God has for them ("the one") will either be in their town, move to their town --- and/or possibly actually "move in with them" after they marry(?). I read one lady's profile that said something like (not exact words), "After my kids are grown and on their own, I'm considering missions work. I also like to write and may write a women's devotional." So this could indicate that this lady would be willing, at a later time, to relocate to any place on earth! Or, perhaps, far away, say, if she met a man who was called to "writing for God." My personality type is INTP (Myers-Briggs), so I tend to examine every possibility. I also have an active, if not overly active, imagination, and could move/relocate rather easily being "single." Of course, should I relocate, it would be in the *center* of God's will, whether I remain single or not! When writing ladies on this site I ask myself if they may be called to "minister with me." When they seem to be compatible with me generally speaking, but have limits on where than can go and what the can do, I suppose they aren't "the one" for me. At least not at this time, anyway. Depending on what their "flexibility" on this is, so to speak, that could change. Thanks. Post Reply
rickc View Profile History	Relocating? Posted : 3 Dec, 2009 08:23 PM Corrections (and I missed more, sorry)! It should have read (caps for corrections): "When they seem to be compatible with me generally speaking, but have limits on where THEY can go and what THEY can do, I suppose they aren't "the one" for me. At least not at this time, anyway. Depending on what their "flexibility" on this is, so to speak, that could change. Thanks." I'll add that --- I was willing to go where God wanted and do what He wanted --- *before* I "took up dating again" earlier this year (but that's off-topic). Okay. Thanks! Post Reply
bcpianogal View Profile History	Relocating? Posted : 3 Dec, 2009 08:23 PM About my statement "I'm NOT willing to move to another country," Rick you are correct in the first point you made (in my situation, at least)...I do not feel called to be a full-time foreign missionary. However, the second point doesn't apply to me...I would never expect a man to move to my town. If he wants to, great, but I'd expect to move to his town. Especially if he is already established in a good job there. You have some good points, particularly about relocating (and reasons for doing it or not) involving preferences that everyone is entitled to. Post Reply
rickc View Profile History	Relocating? Posted : 3 Dec, 2009 11:36 PM Hi bcpianogal! -- you wrote (QUOTE): About my statement "I'm NOT willing to move to another country," Rick you are correct in the first point you made (in my situation, at least)...I do not feel called to be a full-time foreign missionary. However, the second point doesn't apply to me...I would never expect a man to move to my town. If he wants to, great, but I'd expect to move to his town. Especially if he is already established in a good job there. You have some good points, particularly about relocating (and reasons for doing it or not) involving preferences that everyone is entitled to (UNQUOTE). I see. Your expectations are probably "the norm" (how most people see things, and that's okay). Again, I'm in a unique situation. Not only as never married/no kids, but being "working class." I'm willing to relocate "if there are jobs available." That is, "a job that pays" (doing anything I'm able to do). In fact, I considered moving out of state to find work -- and almost did! -- just before I got my current job! While I now have a "good job" that I'm expecting to be ongoing ("established," but I'm not getting rich!); I can conceivably, and somewhat easily, relocate. If I were "called to go there (some place else)" I would. Whether becoming married were involved or not. I hope this makes sense, lol. Thanks! Post Reply
View Profile History	Relocating? Posted : 6 Dec, 2009 07:14 AM We could ask the men the same question???? It's not that some of us arent willing to relcocate. If I ever felt lead by God to relocate and I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that It was part of his plan then I would gladly do so. We all want to find somebody that we are compatible with and on this site I'm sure all of us have came acrossed a few people that we might feel a strong connection with but due to the distance alot of them will never lead to anything, but at the same time at least we have the priviledge of getting to know some really great people. Post Reply
View Profile History	Relocating? Posted : 7 Dec, 2009 01:16 PM But thats just it Tabetha, how do you not know that the person God has planned for you lives a distance away from you? Post Reply
View Profile History	Relocating? Posted : 7 Dec, 2009 07:29 PM Most of us who have been married thought we did so with God's blessing, and may have, but divorce became the only option for us or given upon us. So, even though, i will be strongly challenged by posting this comment: i admire the praying part, but I'm not putting alot of faith in Knowing God has picked my next companion. I surely thought my last marriage was with that man, and after 26 years he told me he wanted to be single (course an old h.s. GF encouraged him as well). So, the reason we consider out of our region is its hard to find a mate that truly believes and follows Christ's teachings. GL Post Reply
View Profile History	Relocating? Posted : 10 Dec, 2009 09:38 AM I have on my profile that I'm not willing to relocate. Now, if I met the guy I wanted to marry, I'd relocate; but for dating purposes I would not. Especially since there is no guarantee that it would work out. Plus, I live in the city and don't have a car. That makes relocating or dating someone out of the area nearly impossible. Post Reply