Author	Thread: The friendship trap :-O
Rabbit32 View Profile History	The friendship trap :-O Posted : 7 Apr, 2010 10:23 AM Dear Ladies An aspect of courtship and dating that has always alluded me is going beyond friendship with a woman, I am interested in. I believe friendship is an essential foundation for a marriage, so many skip this part of a relationship. Furthermore some women wont be friends with you because they are afraid you might like them. How would they ever know that they dont like me if they never know who I am. I love God whom I never saw, only by knowing Him. Ok maybe the last part was more of a rant (sorry) :bunny: So ladies if a man who you are friends with wants to go beyond friendship, how does he approach you without damging that friendship. :) Post Reply
View Profile History	The friendship trap :-O Posted : 7 Apr, 2010 12:05 PM I feel you, Rabbit. You almost have to find someone who thinks the same as you do, that friendship is at the foundation of a great marriage. I start every relationship that way. When you're not being romantic, you should be able to hang out and genuinely enjoy the person's company. I think open honest communication is the key. The question is, can a relationship survive or ever go back to it's original status if the subject of going further than a friend is broached? It has been my experience that it can not. Maybe someone else has had a different experience. So, my advice is to feel it out and see if there is really a good chance that your feelings will be reciprocated. If they are not, it may be a little awkward at first but if she's a good friend and there was depth to the friendship beforehand you could perhaps get some resemblance of what you had. But if you really like (love) her, I say it's worth the try. Pray first. And I hope it works out the way you want it to! :peace: I am in that situation myself. Rather than throwing a potential monkey wrench in the relationship, I'm letting the relationship take a natural progression, letting the friendship grow (this way does take time). I feel like we will grow platonically or we will grow closer in a more intimate way. We both have the indwelling Holy Spirit, so I'm depending on it to lead us to all truth! :rocknroll: Post Reply
Phoebe2 View Profile History	The friendship trap :-O Posted : 7 Apr, 2010 12:19 PM Interesting post! I totally agree that friendship is a major solid base for a healthy marriage, and it's a very good chance to know someone on a very safe ground. The only thing that won't damage that friendship if a man wants to go beyond it, is to pray first before approaching. Friends might get along really well, but that doesn't make them perfect partners for each other in marriage. I think if someone prays and feels completely positive about a step farther than a freindship, the appraoch wouldn't be a concern; it would come naturally , simply & pleasantly. I hope answered your question somewhat In Him, Phoebe Post Reply
Rabbit32 View Profile History	The friendship trap :-O Posted : 7 Apr, 2010 12:49 PM lol the moment i take that leap its like riding a roller coaster for the first time. :) Post Reply
View Profile History	The friendship trap :-O Posted : 7 Apr, 2010 01:21 PM I know! Keeping it real, I think I'm kinda punking out. I would need to know with a high degree of certainty that I would be met with a "sure let's go for it". Post Reply
Rabbit32 View Profile History	The friendship trap :-O Posted : 7 Apr, 2010 08:58 PM you know I believe God made us fellas the hunters, so with a lil Holy Spirit engineering , and prayer maybe he'll come around. I wish you Gods best at any rate :) Post Reply
View Profile History	The friendship trap :-O Posted : 7 Apr, 2010 09:04 PM I really like what you said at the end of your paragraph; about how we love Him without ever having seen Him- but when we step back in all reality... we have seen Him, by getting to know Him. So, to answer your question in my opinion, that is simply the "risk" you take to find your love. In order to fully and truly love someone, one must be vulnerable, right? so.. if you scare her off.. well then she wasnt "the one" right?! -Karina Post Reply
View Profile History	The friendship trap :-O Posted : 7 Apr, 2010 09:17 PM Thanks Rabbit! I appreciate it. Post Reply
View Profile History	The friendship trap :-O Posted : 7 Apr, 2010 10:15 PM Sorry to "Butt" in... ...But... How many of you that are divorced and still consider your ex a "friend"? Or how many have broken up with someone and still consider them you friend? Doesn't that show that it is possible? Post Reply
View Profile History	The friendship trap :-O Posted : 8 Apr, 2010 06:04 AM I think it's possible to be friends, it just isn't the same. Even with an ex, because of your history together, it makes the 'friendship' a different one than with a platonic friend. Whenever we all get married, our current spouses are going to look at your relationship with your ex-wife, ex-girlfriends differently than with your platonic single or married women friends. There will be added boundaries because of that previous relationship. So, I'm saying you can be friends, but for people who are afraid it will change their friendship if the person declines to be more intimate, in my opinion, once that line of inquiry is crossed you don't ever go back to the way it was. But like the saying goes, 'Tis better to have loved and lost, then to have never loved at all'. I think finding the love of your life is always worth the risk, the question for me is are you willing to take that risk and due with the change in your friendship if the answer is no. Just my humble opinion from my limited experience. Arch, butts and all are always welcome anytime. :laugh: Post Reply
View Profile History	The friendship trap :-O Posted : 8 Apr, 2010 08:06 AM well i guess you just have to choose between what you want and what your friends want, which is easier said than done, but that's part of being a grown up i think. Post Reply

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