Author	Thread: Frustrating :(
Rabbit32 View Profile History	Frustrating :( Posted : 1 Aug, 2010 11:51 PM You know ladies with the percentage of true, practicing, walk the walk, commited, daily walking with God... believers being a small minority JUST among people who call themselves Christians, and go to church, its a wonder we find anyone of worth at all as a potential mate. With that said it would be helpful to know why I am being ignored, or why my messages are being read but not responded to. If it's something I'm doing wrong, it would probably increase my chances in a world where my chances are already slim enough as it is! Rant off :) Post Reply
Rabbit32 View Profile History	Frustrating :( Posted : 2 Aug, 2010 02:42 PM see 20 views so far and nothing Post Reply
View Profile History	Frustrating :( Posted : 2 Aug, 2010 03:55 PM I know what you are going through, brother. I have been going through it since I joined this site. Only a few young women have actually responded, while others read the message, view my profile, and then ignore it. On a few occasions, I exchange a couple messages with the young woman and then she suddenly stops responding, and it leaves me wondering if I said something wrong or offended her. I think a few threads have hit on similar topics as to why people don't respond. I can't really offer much in the way of advice, other than to keep trying and maybe someone will finally respond. Maybe even pray about this, see if this is what God wants you to use to find someone. I'm not suggesting leave the site, necessarily, unless you feel it is the best option. Also, focus on your relationship with God Himself. Sorry to all the ladies. I realize this is intended for you all to answer, but I wanted to get my thoughts in really quick. :p Post Reply
View Profile History	Frustrating :( Posted : 2 Aug, 2010 07:43 PM K9 - NP. Feel free to jump in. All I can say is women experience the same thing. Several Forum posts and threads have been written on this subject. What I like to see in an email is that a guy actually read my profile. I like him to ask me a question or two - give me something to respond to. Writing things like "I saw your profile and now I KNOW I've found the one God has for me!" or something along those lines only creeps the ladies out. Don't do it. With prayer, I have on occassion sent a follow-up email, especially if someone stops communicating all of a sudden. Currently I am thankful I took the courage to do that recently, as I am talking with a man I met here that did not respond for two weeks to an email I sent him. We worked out the miscommunication thing. Hang in there, be yourself, keep praying, keep seeking God, and be led by the Spirit. Post Reply
Rabbit32 View Profile History	Frustrating :( Posted : 2 Aug, 2010 07:56 PM Usally I tell them I like the way their profile sounds or something along those lines. It would be nice to recieve some grace, for when I dont wow them now. Post Reply
riveroflife1 View Profile History	Frustrating :( Posted : 2 Aug, 2010 08:27 PM when your a walk the walk person, you dont get as many results. Sad to say, huh??? but very true. Post Reply
Tulip89 View Profile History	Frustrating :( Posted : 2 Aug, 2010 10:21 PM Rabbit, try being more specific/personal. "I saw that you enjoy hiking, which I think is really cool. Last October was the first time I had ever hiked outside of the Appalachians. My brothers and I did a two week backpacking trip in the Rockies, which was absolutely amazing. The view from the top of Mount of the Holy Cross is absolutely breathtaking. What's been your favorite hiking trip so far?" is going to get you a lot further than, "Hey I like your profile. We have a lot of things in common, like hiking." Post Reply
Tulip89 View Profile History	Frustrating :( Posted : 2 Aug, 2010 10:24 PM Also, as far as receiving grace, you have to remember that women get like 8000 messages a day here. If you don't do something to stand out, you'll be just another guy sending them just another message. You know you're awesome, but how can they if you don't show them in the first message? Post Reply
Rabbit32 View Profile History	Frustrating :( Posted : 3 Aug, 2010 12:23 AM That sux, thats probably always been my weak area, which sux, cause Im really strong in alot of areas. Lol I think I'll hire an advertising company to sell me. Really I question the whole premise of these things. For instance women use non verbal communication, alot more than men. However when communicating via e-mail, and IM even text, it SEEMS to throw them off. I guess I am open to some coaching, if someone would work with me. :) Post Reply
View Profile History	Frustrating :( Posted : 3 Aug, 2010 02:56 PM Hey Rabbit, wish I could tell you I have this on-line dating thing all figured out. Of course, that is not the case. I have come to the realization that just as you pointed out the odds are slim on finding the needle in a haystack that fits you. I have not given up hope or faith but I continue to work on my growth and keep the faith that God will provide. The other sad revelation (IMO) is that a large number of people on dating sites have such a high standard for who they are looking for that us ordinary folks don't stand much of a chance. There are times that I read about men in my age group who constantly complain that they cannot find a suitable match but there are women all around them that they do not reach out to. I send mails out frequently and get no response and I just chalk it up to they are not the one. I move on. There are numerous factors that play into this scenario. What we look like, our single status (divorced), our family status (children at home), location, religious affiliation, our stance on premarital sex and whether we take the occasional alcoholic beverage or not. It seems to me that no one wants to work at relationships anymore; everyone wants fast and easy and that is not what a lasting union is made of. I pray that God provides for you in all the ways He in His infinite wisdom knows that you need. Love in Christ, Dani Post Reply
View Profile History	Frustrating :( Posted : 3 Aug, 2010 07:22 PM Rabbit, you are right in that it is hard to get the 'real you' across by just words on the screen and some pictures. If you aren't a good typist or don't write well....... it puts you at a big disadvantage. My suggestion is to learn from all your missed opportunities. If you are communicating in a certain way with each woman (i.e. standard opening questions) and not getting the response you want, then it is time to change that. It is a process, and God will be with you through it. Hang in there, be yourself, and don't compromise. Post Reply

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