Author	Thread: Interrogatories; Storyline; or Genuine Interest to Explore Relationship?
MyBoaz2011 View Profile History	Interrogatories; Storyline; or Genuine Interest to Explore Relationship? Posted : 10 Feb, 2011 08:28 PM Hi Precious Ladies, Here is the scenario: I'm here surfing prayerfully and here comes a random contact on the instant messenger. I never knew her. No formal introductions, no courtesies, just outright, straightforward questions like: "where were you born?" "Have you been married before?" And on and on she went - more than ten questions back to back - no kidding. I figured the approach was disrespectful, but she claimed she wanted to "know" me. I opted out of the "trap" - and she blew up. Now, can you, honorable, anointed ladies tell me whether you can meet a perfect stranger at the mall, church, restaurant or anywhere and commence to know them by firing interrogatories. And, by the way, does the rules of interpersonal relationship change just because its online and we aren't physically seeing each other? No more respect for people just because they signed up on a dating site? Your views are welcome!!! Post Reply
View Profile History	Interrogatories; Storyline; or Genuine Interest to Explore Relationship? Posted : 11 Feb, 2011 06:06 AM Many people on this site know what they are looking for, and don�t want to spend a lot of time finding out if you are a match or not. Some people are more into the process of building a relationship, like yourself. Others, like me, are more analytical and would rather just get our questions answered before investing ourselves emotionally only to find out we are not a match. You wouldn�t happen to remember her username, would you? Post Reply
shepherdess View Profile History	Interrogatories; Storyline; or Genuine Interest to Explore Relationship? Posted : 11 Feb, 2011 11:21 AM Cobbler is right. On this venue, it is different. It's not like standing next to her in the grocery store and casually discussing the weather. That is why the forums are good (in my opinion). I know how some people think/feel now that are really important to me, which tells me whether or not we could be great friends or more. Post Reply
MyBoaz2011 View Profile History	Interrogatories; Storyline; or Genuine Interest to Explore Relationship? Posted : 11 Feb, 2011 05:46 PM Thanks for your intelligent response, Cobbler. Oh no, her username didn't strike a note :laugh: Interestingly, don't you think prodding people for answers to preconceived questions might simply result in the other party becoming untruthful just to satiate the appetiate for an answer? Afterall, at that point both parties are total strangers. Why tell a virtual stranger who has not intimately connected with you all your life history in a second. What if they move on afterwards without connecting with you and have got a storyline? Conversely, you may equally ask me how a party could connect intimately without being informed of essential personal maters. Looks like a delicate line. What do you think? Most people I've met here tell stories of being lied to or being misled somewhat by stories told. Are you aware of this? Post Reply
MyBoaz2011 View Profile History	Interrogatories; Storyline; or Genuine Interest to Explore Relationship? Posted : 11 Feb, 2011 05:54 PM Great take, Shepherdess!! I agree that indicators of friendship/friendliness could be picked up in the opinion market place of forum chats. Undoubtedly,expressions in writing reveal a lot about a person - though much more will be needed to predict potential "great" friendship. Do you disagree? Post Reply
View Profile History	Interrogatories; Storyline; or Genuine Interest to Explore Relationship? Posted : 11 Feb, 2011 06:02 PM In the online dating world, this kind of thing is common. It is not the way everyone is comfortable meeting or getting to know someone, as I think you demonstrate. If it happens again you might gently let the person know you prefer to have a conversation where you slowly get to know each other, rather than answer a series of questions. You of course could phrase that in a way that is comfortable to you. Post Reply
MyBoaz2011 View Profile History	Interrogatories; Storyline; or Genuine Interest to Explore Relationship? Posted : 11 Feb, 2011 06:14 PM Thank you so much for the advice. Makes very good sense! Post Reply
View Profile History	Interrogatories; Storyline; or Genuine Interest to Explore Relationship? Posted : 11 Feb, 2011 07:02 PM MyBoaz, You have to start opening up sooner or later. Yes, it is a risk, but just remember what the reward could possibly be, a gift from God. To me, the greater the reward, the greater the risk you have to take. I have grown tired of dragging information out of people. If you are not willing to start opening up early on, then I will move on. Being in a relationship is about sharing one�s life, and you have to start somewhere. Since this site is missing a lot of important search criteria, I tend to stick to questions that will �weed out� those that I know I don�t want to marry, such as theology and world view questions. Those kind of questions tell you a lot about who you are, without being really personal. They tell you about your personal beliefs, not about your personal life. The theology ones should be easy to answer, since God does command us to always being ready to make a defense to everyone who asks you to give an account for the hope that is in you, yet with gentleness and reverence; 1 Peter 3:15 (NASB) Could somebody lie to you, sure they can. But someone could always lie to you, no matter how long you have known them. You just have to learn to step out and take a chance. Post Reply
MyBoaz2011 View Profile History	Interrogatories; Storyline; or Genuine Interest to Explore Relationship? Posted : 11 Feb, 2011 07:31 PM Great points. Its all about risk taking and walking by faith. I appreciate your input here. Thanks Post Reply
View Profile History	Interrogatories; Storyline; or Genuine Interest to Explore Relationship? Posted : 12 Feb, 2011 05:17 AM I would also add to this unexpectedly, mature(up in this piece) intelligent conversation that I look at EVERYTHING because we ARE online and it is SO easy to misrepresent oneself. The lady blasting questions right off without any preamble type pleasantries could either, lack home training or be impatient or have had bad experiences with online dating and be in "don't play' mode and I'm sure, other possibilites exist as well. So she and Cobbler would have got on famously and neither would have probably seen an issue with shooting each other questions to see where each stood so they could move on, if either answered unfavorably. I think it goes to personality temperance and the tempo in which ppl take to get to know someone. Which in itself, is a good determining factor in compatibility. Post Reply
View Profile History	Interrogatories; Storyline; or Genuine Interest to Explore Relationship? Posted : 12 Feb, 2011 05:47 AM A person needs to see things as they are, not how they wish they were. Why blast this gal for her questions by which she just revealed to you who she is? Enjoy people for who they are, we are all different. Butter pecan ice cream may be your favorite, that doesn't mean you can't enjoy blueberry swirl once in awhile. Post Reply

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